randomers #3

glam as fuck.

ultimate comics x-men issue 23

written by brian wood art by carlo barberi

I have no real experience with the mutants and x-men of the ultimate universe. Lets judge them anyway ! I say no real experience. Like I read the very first arc that mark miller wrote. Though that was like over a decade ago now. Though I have read hella ultimate spider-man with kitty pyde in it. Yes I didn't actually learn all that much about ultimate mutant kind from that. But I like to think it counts for something. That said. I also have no actual clue to what's going on in ultimate marvel theses days. The only ultimate book I keep up with is spider-man and that's fairly isolated from the bigger verse. I gather some sort of civil war type dealy happened in America. Not sure how the mutants fit in likes. Now yes I totally just could go look all this up on wiki but randomers is about just blasting threw some comics and seeing how they stand on there own merits. Writing for the trade be dammed.

So you might have gathered from the cover this a storm centric issue. Fair play likes. Don't think iv ever read a solo storm comic in my life. Well. I say solo. Big colossus is cutting about it for the first wee bit. Seems he killed a dude in cold blood. Seams like a dickish move. But the comic dosent give much explanation or context to it so I wont judge him for it. He also seems to be genuinely affected by the murder or at the very least is acting like he's affected by it. So points there. Its a tricky business this judging a charater by a single issue. But storm here seems kind of like a bit of a bad character. Well. To me at least. She seams fairly week willed. I gusse she's still only a teenager ? That really shouldn't be an excuse at this point in the game. At the very least. Its a shock to compare this storm to the proper universes storm. The proper universes yin is kind of your standard strong female character. And fair play to her. Something of a weather god that she is. In this issue ultimate storm just sort of go's with the flow of things. Which. Would be fine. But like it seems like her opinions change basically every other page. Probably not the best thing to compare the two versions at this point but it was something that seemed rather shonky to me.

So it would seam the American government are rounding up mutants and putting them in camps for the crime of being a mutant. Good. Heartless bastard I knows. But mutants are hella dangerous. And I have to Imagen they must have done something to cause this crackdown. And no. I wont give them the benefit of the doubt. Mutants all tend to be utter dicks. Proper universe or not. And yes this is all commentary on terrorism and immigration and Americas reaction to it. That's fine. Or rather that would be fine if mutants didn't rock the deadly combo of being super powered AND being utter dicks. Like. At some point we're going to have to stop calling them mutants and just start calling then villains. Now. Ill give them points. The mutants might not have killed anyone in this particular issue. Maybe if those sentinels were piloted by humans. Maybe. But ill be generous and just Imagen they were only robbits. Humans don't come off any better here. Though that might just have something to do with them being small towner Americans being depicted in media. There some what hickish. And they do sorta turn storm in to the authority's.

We get a page or two of a mutant cure being rolled out. Cools ? Like normally I'm against anything that kills the magic of a given setting. Like in late series star trek the next generation when we learned warp travel was damaging the fabric of the universe. Just. Naw. Pal. Just like. Dinny go near that shite. The mutant cure idea is kind of like that for me. Though at the same time mutants are genuinely dangerous. There just punk ass kids given grate power with no responsibility and on top of that a lot of mutations are hella deformity's or disability's. Like there's a guy in the background here who's like a 1950s B movie blob monster. That cant be fun. Like not all mutants can be as lucky as the mostly glam as fuck x-men. Though I will relent here and say the very idea of a cure for mutants is controversial because of all the persecuted minority's mutants represent in that its not so much a cure for having super powers in that its a cure for who your and what you represent. So in the end Its a pretty good bad idea.

So once again it might not sound like I enjoyed this wee comic. I totes did likes. It was a fast wee read. Readable almost And I bloody loved the the art. A cracking flash back to early 2000s anime inspired art. Magical likes. Weirdly I get the feeling that particular art style still continues to this day in certain corners of x men comics. Cool likes. I didn't know I missed it but this comic made me relies I did. Well played comic. Well played.

Randomers #2

I.CAN.FLY!

 

 

prelude to infinity new avengers 008

written by jonathan hickman art by mike deodato

I don't think I like infinity. I knows. I'm a massive hypocrite. The event has all the things I love. Space heroes cutting about being epic fighting a war to save the universe. And it has big captain America pointing at fools whilst being humanity's representative red ranger. I SHOULD find it magical. But I don't. Shockingly. And there's a few reasons for that. Mainly. I don't think I care any more. About marvel events that is. Well that's unfair. I do still care about marvel continuity. Just not enough to read ALL the books needed to keep up with it. Weirdly since the new 52 iv become much more of a dc man. Marvel since then have went a tad mad. Which I totally respect them for. Only MARVEL would kill off peter parker in the year a new spider-man film came out. Like. There business plan seems to be to troll as many folk as possible. A respectable goal. It just translates into me buying less of there comics for some reason.

 

Another key ingredient in my not likening infintyness wid be my not buying Hickman's avengers. I just didn't want to read them. Like I gave his issue one a chance. Didny like it. I liked that he let the movie avenger team get curb stomped by some punk ass new villain. But at the same time he let the movie team get curb stomped by some punk as new villain. Aye fair play hawk eye and black widow can get to fuck but that team contained the big guns loikes. Big cap. Big thor. Big hulk. They just dropped like punks. I'm well aware it was just set up for the arc and it lead to potential overwhelming epicness on everyone's part. I just didny want to read it. Mibby I was burnt out by bendis avengers. Fuck it. Of course I was burnt out on bendis avengers. Something just didn't sit right with me with Hickman on the book. It was an incredible mistake on my part as I get the feeling his run is needed to understand any amount of infinity.

So there I am. Reading infinity. Understanding every fourth panel or so. Tie ins are necessary it would seem. Normal pish with big events I knows. But more so with infinity in my opinion. like age of ultron was a perfectly fine read without tie ins. It was shite. But at least I could understand it. So I gave this prelude towwdle a try. How to describe it. Stuff happened I guse. I litrully couldn't care about any of it. I really need an answerer to this. Who actually likes the inhumans? Seriously. Is there anybody out there that's happy to see them whenever they pop up. I'm guessing one person. That being Hickman himself. I tolerated the inhuman's presence in his last fantastic 4 run. Because them being the fantastic 4s pals and all that. Though there bits were definitely the low points of that run. Marvels pushing them as this big deal though. I think there actually getting a book. Fuck everything to do with that and to with them and there Shakespeare in space ass pish.

 

I see wakandas going to war with Atlantis. Good ? Namor did like kill wakanda dead during a vs x. so seeing a little bit of reprisal for that is cool. I'm rooting for Atlantis though. Like I genuinely hate dc Atlantis but I'm fairly apathetic to the marvel yin. Plus big skeevey namor earns them hella points. And of course I hate everything to do with the black panther and his mary sue nation. Every time I have to read something about wakanda I'm filled with such mindless hate. Come on wakanda. Why even are you a thing. My mind cant understand it. Ayes I get that its a future tech African nation. Fair play. But why dose anyone care ! Here black panthers aww namor pal. I let my nation invade your nation. Why ? For reasons ! Shity ones !

Doc strange is completely off his shit. Because of the house visitor he gets at the end of this issue. This angers me.

Reid Richards. The greatest evil humanity as ever know is telecommuting with his illuminaty buddy Tony stark. Its aww fine banter. bringing together Tony returning from his space adventures. I mean Tony only got back in this months issue of iron man but its fine. I buy the continuity hiccups. Its really not that big a deal in the grand sachem of things. Reid's telecommuting though. Like. Yes I understand he's the worst human ever and all but why dosent he pop into the future foundation and tell them that he and the F4 are fine. Ayes the FF are basically a joke book but they still think the F4 are missing and probably dead if mad auld johnny storm is to be believed. For fuck sake Reid. Get it together man.

Well that's really all there is to the issue. It sums up were all the “ new” avengers are at . What's going on in there lives. What there motivations are. What they were doing when thanos ranger team rocked up to the planet. As iv said. Most of them were being utter bastards at the time. A fairly quick read that left me surprisingly angry and still as confused about infinity as I was before.

Randomers #1

Righto. I feels like trying something different for a bit. Iv got this giant ass stack of comics iv picked up from car boots over the years and I'm never going to read them if I don't also somehow funnel them into mad hat out put. So here we are. Ill see if can blast threw them. Thought we mad hats do have an odd habit of only doing one part of something but promising the world. Almost none of them are connected to each other and there mostly books for characters I dinny ken any thing about. Were going in blind !

hope runs from youngblood's disease sufferers

 

 

Cable and x force 009

written by frank tieri art by salvador larroca

Cable and x force. More like uncanny avengers. Amaright ? The entirety of this comic is just the uncanny avengers team going to look for hope. Cables daughter not the awesome blue light of green lantern fame. It was ok. I think. As a stand alone issue that I went completely blind into it worked fairly well. Like id probs be pretty pissed if I was buying this monthly and this was all there was to the issue. Though saying that marvel has been hella cranking books out of late. So maybe the wound dosent cut that deep.

So the uncanny avengers are bobbing along looking about for hope. Having the banter. There cool dudes those uncanny avengers. I can totally see why folk could hate them though. Like ayes they can come off as cunts in there own book. Bit shites gotten epicly space Gothic real in there book. So I at least let it slide over there. Here not so much. Like. The main problem with the team is the mutants on it. Because as we've hopefully discussed before. Most mutants and almost all x men are utter bastards. To a man. Its this incredibly marvely thing. That they continue to push mutants as this feared and hated minority whilst simultaneously making mutants act like complete dicks to everyone and every thing in existence.

Hope herself is a bit of a bam here too. Mind controlling what I assume from context to be her foster parents into driving her about. Though to be fair. My only exposure to hope was from a vs x and from messiah complex if that was indeed her as a baby. I don't know. X men continuity. Fuck it. So her actions in this issue could be incredibly in character for her. Its just once again mutant kind dosent come off looking well. So hopes powers are to absorb other powers ? Cools. Kinda makes rouge a bit redundant when hope dosent even have to physically touch a dude to steal his powers. But again x men continuity. Fucked if I know what rouges current or actual deal is. Points to the comic though as hope absorbs the powers of purple girl. Didny ken there was a purple girl. Nice bit of z list usage there.

Oddly captain America is shown in a bad light. Though its just a fillery continuation of his beef with havok. Like. Ayes havok is the leader of the uncanny avengers. Fucked if I know why. Well. Political reasons. To show mutant and man working together and to piss off scott summers. Its just a bit dumb likes. Aye fair play you dinny need cap to lead ALL the avengers teams. But dinny just have him on the roster as an underling to add credibility to your pr stunt. Cause it leads to pish like this. Cap is the living legend leader of men. There's no getting around that. Though. I will say. Havok dose rock a mean gendo ikari turtle neck jacket look back in the main uncanny book. So. Points there.

Its really more of a banter based issue than a fight em up. But there's a little bit of action here and there. Its fairly stupid though. Hope makes cap and havok fight with purple girls powers as you'd expect. Its fairly meh. We didn't learn anything from it we didn't already know. Hopes finisher is using masterminds powers to summon this red skull galactus thing. Its cool ? Mibby ? Its an illusion that cap just one shots like a proper pro. Though it did serve as a reminder for me that the red skull is STILL out there running about with professor X's brain in his head. I mean. Nobody has gotten on this. Nobody has put a stop to the RED SKULL running about the world as one of the most powerful psychics ever. You'd think that be caps singular driving goal right now. But no. he's cutting about on a mutant publicity team checking up on this teenage girl. Because her dad is apparently at the top of the worlds most wanted list. Yeah. Scott summers is out there right now leading a mutant revolution. And folk are worried about what the human fridge cable is up to. ALSO THE RED SKULL IS STILL OUT THERE WITH PROF X'S BRAIN.

So yeah. I liked this issue ! Not enough to actively seek out cable and x force. God no. but I didn't hate what I read and there were cheeky wee bits of choice banter strewn about. Early on there's a gid bit from havok about x men and there constantly changing loyalty's that I had a good chuckle at. Mutants and especially x men being the worst humans to ever live and all that.

Bag guys adventures in villains month #1

Villains month. Ayes. So it did seem quite shite when the news first broke way back when. Though to be fair. Almost all news tends to be met with at least a somewhat negative response. Comics are just like that. Change in my opinion is the work of the devil. Or at least another almost as important daemon like creature. I remember when I was just a lad the adds for avengers vs x-men sent our own dovay davey into an unstoppable rage. Millions died. So basically. A lot of decisions that are made in comics tend to sound amazingly shite when you first here them.

Villains month sounded AMAZINGLY shite. Like. Basically everything about it. The the villain take over. The point one nature of the books. The fact that a fair chunk of them aren't by the same creative teams. The SHEER amount of books. And the 3D covers. That I feel was a gimmick to far for a lot of folk. They REEK of the 90s. Not a bad thing in my book. But definitely in a lot of other comic buyers. I'm forever hearing rumblings of another comic book crash. A negative effect of the 90s. So I can understand why most folk widny want to be reminded of that particular decade by theses shiny covers. Those folk are bastards. Just remember the endless summer !

So ayes. Wasny existed for villains month. I was still gonna get it of course. Just wasny at all hyped for it. But then that last justice league issue happened. The end of trinity war happened. And I was BACK IN THE GAME. Trinity war was a lot of faffing about. It has to be said. There was a lot of running about and wonder woman being utterly horrible. That will be my abiding memory of the mini non event thing. That and the sheer crazy holly shit factor of the last issue. It was a proper goff johns last issue of an event. Meaning stuff ACTULLY happened.

I doubt its any kind of spoiler at this point. But the actual contents of Pandoras box was a portal to another world which the crime syndicate rocked threw. That's pretty neat loikes. Like the implication for magic in the dc verse are kinda fucked considering the box was only supertech. But hey ho. We got some solid as all fuck villains out of it. Now this is my first time dealing with the crime syndicate in actual comics. Iv seen them in the brave and the bold cartoon and I know of them from general comics lore though I'm assuming thieve been updated for cutting about the new 52 verse. Now. It dosent really matter who they are. I just think its cool there actually something. A real threat that has to be dealt with in the present. In the beginning I just assumed villains month was going to be mostly origin story's and dat. Though with with forever evil as the first proper event of the new 52 I should have known better.

So I got four dc books this week. All of varying quality and shininess. Lets take a quick gander !

First up is joker #1. its odd. Appropriately so ayes. But iv not really decided if its the good kind of odd or the bad kind of odd. Its not at all what I thought it was going to be. Though I'm not actually sure what I thought it would be. Its surprisingly weird yes. But a book being odd and strange in no way makes it a good comic. The main chunk of the story is the joker cutting about with his face on raising his son. who is a ape he kidnapped. Ayes. Now it is a joker story so there is a hell of a lot of room for joker to a an unreliable narrator. For all of the issue to be utter bull shit his mad brain has just made up. I get the feeling its aww real though. And its just written in an older less palatable style to modern sensibility's. I personally did enjoy reading it. Though I did find the insights into the jokers childhood to be somewhat pandering to the youth of today. And if anything in the issue wasn't quite real it be those bits. His aunt was basically evil olive oil from pop eye. Who abused him. So now he abusing and killing other folk. I don't care how real a thing that is. It can get the fuck out my comics. Its a SHIT trope. Other than that I thought it was pretty neat. Balances the evil sinisterness and the need for sillyness of the joker quite well. At least in my opinion. And its the one book that most people will probably get this month even if thieve sworn of the event. Popularity power of the joker after all.

Next up is grodd #1. and its defiantly the least good of my dc purchases's this week. Not bad at all. Just the least good. Nothings wrong with the over all story. The gorillas have made peace with central city and both sides are committed to rebuilding and living in peace until grodd rocks up and ruins everybody's day. The premiss is incredibly flash like. normally in modern comics civilians be they man or ape tend to be right bastards. Not so in the flash. Mainly because big barry allan is generating enough lad to go around. And its only really grodd that spoils that, but that's good. Because he's a bad guy. Its what there meant to do. Now. I did say this was the least good dc book I read. That's mainly because certain parts of it come off as a little clunkie. This group of lesser villains just turn op for grodd to kill. I'm not underselling it. They just turn up midway threw the book. Ayes there moving in on flash territory but it could have been handled a little better I feel. Anyway. Still worth a read and the art its hella warm and wovely.

The last of the 3d covers I got was count vertigo #1. surely to be the critical darling of the first week of villains month. It gets major points for having green arrows actual creative team behind it. Big jeff limire likes. It hits all juicy tropes so beloved by the youth of today's hippster audience. Vertigo had an abusive child hood. A drug addict whore failure of a mother who he eventually mercy kills/ takes vengeance on. He's turned in a psychic child solider. Aww the classics. Well. There not thaaaat comen. Its just the over all tone they create is very much something designed to appeal to the hated youth of today. Thing is it works. I attribute this to the continued SHEER metal gearness of lemirs run on green arrow. Vertigo is BASICALY psycho mantis. And his sad back story is fits with a lot of bosses from any given metal gear solid game. So aye. Its probs the mainstream indi book of choice for dc in particular. This week. And yes I did enjoy it. But god damn it hipsters.

 

Finally we come to forever evil. The first proper event of the new 52. now ayes, there's been hella cross book events. Particularly in the lantern books. But this is the first proper eventy event standalone book but with hella tie ins. To my knowledge. I could be talking uttter shite. But lets carry on like I'm not. Its a first issue so yes there's a lot of set up. Something that I should have expected but after that last issue of justice league I assumed it be straight into the action. Sadly not. What we got was still staggeringly entertaining for how weirdly subdued it was. Let me explain. There was sort of a low key tone to proceeding's. Which ayes. Set up and all that. But there's these moments of sheer insanity. Like ultraman snorting kyrptonight. And it also give it points for the crazy amounts of super folk ripping giant doors off there hinges. There's something pirmaly super heroy about that. And ted kord might be back in the game. ACTUL POINTS THERE. So lots of fun so far with crazy potential to get even amazinger. Yeah.

So defiantly a solid start to the month. Lets hope it continues to go well

Mad Hat Pirates Game Night - Race Drivin' and Donkey Kong Country

More from our game night - we play a classic, and, well, a less than classic. Dat cow. And dat barn.

Mad Hat Pirates Game Night - Street Fighter 2 Turbo

Hey all!

Apologies for the lack of our killer content lately, we all have damn busy lives we do. HOWEVER, a few weeks ago myself, bag guy and Mike got together one July evening to play some vidya games on a SNES, and we decided to film the shenanigans that ensued. Here's the first in a series of videos chronicling that magical evening, beginning with Street Fighter 2 Turbo, a game we're utterly amazing at, as I'm sure you'll agree.

Next up, POKEMON (INCLUDING METAPOD AS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE)!

Bagguy vs the man of steel

Superman wins obviously.

Wellzers. Fashionably late to the party as always. But the man of steel did indeed hit cinemas at some point in the immediate past. Never has a community stood so divided as the geek community dose today. Wells. That's grossly over egging it. The split is really between comic book fans and the hated normals and between actual fans of superman and folk that could just take or leave the big boy scout. Id like to say up front that I did enjoy man of steal. I thought it was ok. And at points it was even quite fun. However. This was not the film big supes deserved.

Now before we get in the negatives there is a fair bit to like about the film. There's HELLA action for one thing. Now. A lot of folk would say that's a bad thing. And ayes it is at certain bits but we'll get to that later. Come on now folk. You need lots and lots of ACTION in a superman film. Like. Come on now. Its good they went all action. You get to see supes DO stuff. With a big budget. And for the most part it is awesome. You can call it dumb if you like but I like that they just went all out with the fighting and the physical god level craziness.

I quite liked the bits where superman wasn't superman yet. Now put away your torches and pitch forks and let me explain. Superman not being superman can get quite hateful. It was a risk they were always going to run what with it being yet another origin film but they pulled it off quite nicely if you ask me. From the trailers it looked like we would be getting quite a bit of fisherman supes which I think you'll agree looked quite hatefully hipster. But as it turned out the fisherman shtic was only a vehicle to get supes to an oil rig to do some life saving. See it COULD have been hateful but it turned out fine.

There was a fair chunk at the beginning of the film that took place entirely on krypton. I here that as base brakery as the film is this part was well received. I put that down to jor els general pimpness and the fact he rides a dragon at one point. I mean, I really wasn't prepared for the dragon. I should have been. What with that one issue of supergirl ware she rides a dragon. So I should have been aware kyrptonian dragons were a thing. I just wasn't expecting to see it in the real big deal synder/nolan superman reboot is all. And oh my it was awesome. Im not really a big dragon man. Its just the sheer absurd surprise of it the thing.

Jor el himself was quite the lad. Like he manages to CQC the fuck out of general zod. General zod. Krypton's legendary soldier. Defeated by a sqwisihe scientist. In hand to hand combat. Well. I guess you get points for being supermans dad. And fair play he is killed by zod eventually. Now here's where the ladness comes in. jor el dose indeed kick the bucket in the opening act but comes back. As YAMI jor el. If you've followed any of our coverage of superior spider-man you'll know about our unending love fer yami pete. God king of the banter. Now yami jor el dose get some choice bits of banter here and there but he mainly utilises his yami ness to cut about. I amazingly approve of this.

Superman him sell came off quite well as a character I think. Well for the most part. Folk just never seem to shut the shit up about superman being a terrible character to write for. That because he's such a god he's unrelatable. These people are actual bastards. Supes is a grate dude. And ayes he's powerful. Juggling planets and all that. Power dose not make you unrelatable or just a bad character because of it. There are countless actual gods cutting about comics that folk love. Its a trendy double standard to hate on superman. Because he's apparently cheesy or childish. That said iv seen some encouraging things from other folks reviews about man of steal that seem to show the myth that its impossible to do a good superman story is somewhat vanishing. Good stuff !

Man of steel had a darn solid cast all right. Your mileage may vary on if that cast was put to good use though. I herd claims of blandness. I don't see it. But that might just be my own good actor blindness. I tend to see. If a like a particular actor in a particular role ill probs be hella forgiving on the actual acting. That said. Do do think everyone was doing a fairly good job with what the script was giving them. I thought henry cavill did a nice job as superman. Like in the scenes ware he was properly being superman I think he had it locked down. Being so superior to humans superman walks a very dangerous line of smarmyness that's sometimes tricky to pull off. Like you need a wee touch of smarm for the flashiness of the character.

Zod was an all right villain too. I say all right. At the end of the day he was quite shite. I'm not sure he won a single fight. Even like I was saying he lost to jor el. Its a little weird. He is built up as kyriptons greatest warrior so for him to lose AWW the time is quite weird. Though I guess he IS a general so I suppose he's not meant to be the absolute best fighty fighter. I did like him and his gang though. They were quite funky with there power amour and eventful superman sun powers. Supes fights with them we're amazingly dragon ball z. though I suppose that's the only way they could go in this day and age. Its not a bad thing. Even though I'm kinda making it sound like one.

Now with al that said. Man of steel dose have some amazingly hateful unforgivable moments.

Pa kent. Pa kent why. Oh god. Why. What have you done ? You monsters. You actual monsters. Pa kent in the man of steal verse is just. I don't even know what. Like I don't quite comprehend why they made him the way he is. I don't even what to try because he was so hateful. I should actually say what my beef with him was. He's not a lad. Not at all. Pa kent is supermans dad. He's meant to give superman that un shakeable moral compass. He's meant to inspire clark to be more than an ordinary man. Superman may be a god. But he gets what makes him a legend from humanity. From the upbringing the kents gave him. And in this film I don't think I'm far off the mark in calling there pa kent a monster. There's a bit in the trailer where pa kent is conserned that kid clark saved a school bus full of children from drowning. Including all his fiends and bullies. Kid clark asks if he should have let them drown. Pa kent reply's maybe. That is unforgivable. Now I get pa kent wanted to keep his son safe and feared that if the world knew about him they'd probably take clark away and dissect him. Fuck that. Kid clark can lift a bus from a lake on his lonesome. He can take who ever rocks up to the farm looking for him. Now. I can buy that pa kent wants his son safe at any cost. I can. But any other pa kent wid be disgusted at this universe one. Pa kent teaches supes to save as many people as he can BECAUSE he can. Its like pa kents whole deal.

As cool as the final fight in the film was. As much as it averted short lame boss fights at the end of current gen super hero movies and movies in general. It was amazingly stupid. Thousands if not hundreds of thousands of innocent people MUST have died. Metropolis is now just a crater. It be one thing if was just because of zod and the villains and that it was unavoidable. But no. a lot of the damage could have been stopped by superman and some case's it was superman actively causing the damage. Yes you read that right. The last fight of the film is between superman and a fully powered up zod battling in a darn crowded metropolis. They basically go at it like like neo and smith from the last battle of the matrix revolutions. That was fine there because everyone in the matrix was a smith so the collateral damage was lessened and it was somewhat an end of the world scenario. Here. Supes dosent seem to give one single fuck for the people of metropolis. Flinging zod threw buildings and flinging stuff at zod that either impacts around him causing damage to the surrounding area or explodes. EXPLODES. Now I feel the hatefulness might be lessoned if it was just two other random super beings. But this is superman. He would sure as fuck care about the people of the city. Caring about people is what superman dose. SAVEING people is what superman dose. Yes. He'd still be fighting zod but the entire time he'd be thinking about ways of getting zod away from civilians and he'd be saving folk from the buildings zod was collapsing and not actively trying to collapse buildings himself.

Now. We've all trecked threw spoiler country. I should have probably started of by saying that there would indeed be spoilers. But its a fair few weeks after the films release and I feel its common knowledge now. But fair play. I have encountered a fair few folk that have decided to wait for the dvd because of its mixed reviews by actual critics. so for the last bit here. Major ending spoilers.

Man of steel reaches its climax with supes having zod in a head lock in ruins of metropolis. Superman has proven that bizarrely he is the better fighter. Zods no looking well. He's lost his mind just a touch. Well. I suppose he wasn't always there. But my point is. He's gone full mental. It looks like it all over but zod bust out his eye beams on this family that just happens to be standing around. Slowly. Like really slowly. The family could just run away. But naw. There only very slightly trapped. They COULD just walk around the eye beams. But naw. They don't. Like the massive twats they are. Well. my point is. Superman is forced to kill zod. He just snaps his neck. With a crack of thunder. Now to tell the truth. Superman killing dosent bother me as much as it should. I'm not to sure why. It just didn't shock me. I feel like superman has killed folk in the past. What is was though was a massive downer. Like in the cinema we saw it in. the kill just sucked all the fun out of the room. You could totes feel it leave. It was quite the moment. Now I don't want to bleather on about the rights and wrongs of superman just killing fools but its certainly one of the things that has divided folk. I can totes get that. I SHOULD be agreeing with them. Its probably the worst thing ever. But I dunno. Its just something that happened.

So. I quite liked it overall. It man of steel is an all right film spoiled by a few bizarre narrative choices. Though I would say it worth a watch. But maybe only on dvd when it comes out. Which isn't something I want to say about a big new superman film.

Why bagguy didn't like the avengers film

I used to have some strong and controversial opinions about the avengers film. As the years passed I mellowed out and I no longer hold most of theses views. The following review has been declassified from the mad hats black list.

It seams the avengers film was the defining event of our youth. I'm sure people don't think its the best film ever made but they probably think its the beast super hero film and possibly the most laddish. they of course use the term laddish AMAZINGLY wrongly. Lad used in the auld dark way. Lad like bloke if you will.

So there I was genially hyped for the film. How couldn't I be. It was a team super hero film that had the actual actors from the highly successful and well liked marvel films. This was something that was on the horizon since 2008s highly cracking iron man. It had geek god joss whedon as director. Every base was covered. It couldn't possibly suck.

But I didn't like it.

Yes there probably is something wrong with me. I get that. There is probably many things really. Basically I'm just being that guy. The thing is. I'm aware of it. I was aware of it DURING the film. It started and probably not 5 minutes in I knew I didn't like it. I just didn't like it. Its hard to logically explain why but ill try to at least give it a go.

Hypes probably a factor. I do tend to hype things up quite a bit. To the point ware life dose tend to feel quite hollow. I don't think you could not hype avengers. It was fucking avengers. Like how do you even describe what that kind of film meant to this generation. OOO. I know. Avengers is like new 10s space jam. Its like an event film ware all your favourite child hood icons team up to fight a threat but like on the big screen. So it was modern age space jam and I didn't like it. Just take that in. its the modern age bit that probably ruins it. The modern age is discusstingly horrible. That thing about each generation being less than the last is so perfectly true. Yes I'm an auld man. Deeply cynical . But jamsus fuck. Its like being the only sane man on the planet when you see the pish the kids of today come out with.

 

I don't like joss wheadon. Yes. Come at me. If I cared more id probs say I hated him. Now fair play. Quite a bit of firefly is damn gid. There's also quite a bit of it that's not laddish in the slightest. And I feel he's slightly defensive about its cowboy bebop/ outlaw start influences. That might be highly untrue but its the feeling I get from him. Never watched buffy. Just never appealed to me. Apart from that I ken fuck all what he's done. The script for titan a.e ? fair play that's laddish. But mainly for vibe reasons. Whedon thaw. He's not a lad. That would be fine. But what irks me is people THINK he's a lad. He's kind of cunnty likes. He killed wash. That's really just unforgivable. He's basically just all about the emotional baiting. So him being the director of avengers is definitely a negative for me.

 

I didn't like the plot of avengers. It sucked ass. Again. I probably think that because of the hype. Like I'm not sure what I really wanted from the film. But I feel what we got was pretty hollow. Like its not all the memorable to me. Maybe I was expecting some gern defining moment of amazingness. Like just wall to wall awesomeness. I don't think we even got close to that is the thing like there were bits of the film ware it wasn't awesome. Like there were bits ware talking happened. Set up and exposition. I don't think I was expecting that. Also im probably been spoiled buy actual avengers comics. Ware shite normally gets god puanchinly fantastic.

I wasny too blown away with the characters. Ayes that's sort of mad to say what with me enjoying there individual films. Its just. I dunno. I'm note sure I remember a single line from the film. Not off the top of my head or anything. Ayes probably if pressed. But nothing really stands out. Fuck hawk eye and the black widow though. You do not do the metal gear vibe any kind of justice. I don't think they got captain Americas legendary hero ness down. Like the captain America film didn't either but that was fine because that was set in the 40s when he was still just a man and we still had the avengers to come for them to work on it. But caps just cutting around the 21^st century with no fuss. Yes they sort of tried with the scean in Germany but again it rang hollow for me. It just didn't get cap. I get this is just my nit pick but I really didn't like the hulk. He was bloke ish. He appealed to blokes. Its mad yes but his widely worshipped wrecking of loki makes me shiver. I REALLY do not like any kind of back ingerry. Yes I know it was loki and its fine cause he's a god. But the hulk could do that to anyone. Yes I know that's not a legitimate complaint but that's what I feel about it. Loki was a actual punk. He acted like a guy. Like a mere mortal. They fuck ? Ayes he's just a space god but come on people. Its like they weren't even trying.

Now I think at this point I like bad films better than good films. I blame reviews. When a good film is good. That's fine. But there's not really much to talk about. When a bad films bad its AMAZING ! So much to talk about so much to remember ! It becomes iconic. Basically a bad films more meme worthy. So its possibly I don't know how to watch a good film any more. Though that really cant be true. I still like other “good” films. Like I find bad films far more enjoyable than good films. A bad film is probs more funny than a good comedy. That's probably saying something about the modern age there

I not quite sure ware this hate of mine comes from. I'm not willing to give avengers anything. I have no time for it. Its a bad film to me but not in the same way the bad films I was talking about above. Its not a good film. Its a bad bad film. Like I'm not having fun not likening it. And I don't even want to not like it. But I do.

Like I was saying. I'm probs just that guy. Not likening something because its popular. I don't want to be that guy. I kinda am though. I genuinely hate the young folk. As we've covered. There just so imperfect. Like we auld bastards are GODs in comparison to them. And when they go on about there perfect film it sickens me. Its possible I want the most absurdly continuity heavy impenetrable film that the maasies will hate so I can love it. Sorry's likes.

So basically. I thought the avengers was shite.

Hideo kojima and the soldiers of hayte

hideo kojima and the soldiers of hayte

 

There has been a single overriding topic that has consumed my mind in recent months. Let me ramble on about it here. Of course. Like most things I say. Don't consider what I say here to be anything close to actul facts. Its all for the best.

 

Only kojima could make me NOT hyped for metal gear solid 5. no matter what you say about the man. No matter what I go on to say about him here. You cant deny. He is a master troll. To be fair. Hes continuing to do his job. He hates us fans.

What I'm bleathering about is david hayter not returning to voice big boss for ground zeros or the phantom pain. Just goona say this up front. I don't believe this is true. Call me delusional if you want. Its fine. But this is just too kojima a development for it not to be trolling. Here me out loikes.

David hayter IS the voice of snake. I mean. He just is. FUCK IT. David hayter IS snake. Replacing him is just unthinkable to me. It disturbs me that other folk think its no big deal. I just thought we didn't take shite like that. Now. Don't get me wrong. There is president for hayter to not voice big boss. He didn't in mgs4. That's fine likes. Bigg boss was auld then and hayter was cutting about as solid snake. So it is fine for hayter not not voice big boss eventually. One day. Years from now. When we're all very dead.

 

However it seems ground zeros takes place soon after peace walker. So I think you'll agree its weird for big boss's voice to so suddenly change. Now. Maybe there's room there for hayter to voice big boss during ground zeros but not in mgs5. I could by that big boss was effected by his coma and the years spent in it. Basically. Like most sane folk . I want hayter in mgs5 in some fashion.

And there's hella room for him to be in it. So much room that I feel this is something worth talking about. I think the general feeling is that the time line is getting to the point where by mgs5 we could be seeing kid solid snake cutting about. So it entirely possible that hayter will be voicing him and not big boss. That's the main hope I cling to. Its what keeps me sane. There's a wee problem with that theory in that kid solid would only be about 10 years auld at the time game is meant to start and I don't think the legendary gravel growler snake voice of hayters wid work on a pre teen. Though. I'm gona call it now and say that mgs5 MAY take place over several years. Allowing for popper snake action.

Kiefer sutherland. The actual fuck. So you replace hayter with someone new. But its just some actor. Its not even like you replace hayter with another voice actor. You get a famous guy. Like. You COULD have got steve blum. That would have lessened the pain. But no. even if kojima wanted a famous actor to voice snake he could have got kurt russell. You know. SNAKE PLISSKEN. For fuck sake. I'm sure kojima could have just given him all the money to do it.

Meta wise. Its not like we haven't been here before. Snake has continually been replaced as the player character in the actual games starting with mgs2. Everyone was hyped as fuck to play as the legendary solider in the next gen graphics of the ps2. What we got was raiden. I like radien. He's a true bro. But ayes. That was kojimas master work of trolling. In mgs3 we play as big boss for the fist time. Who is A snake. But not OUR snake. Again. True bro though. We had to wait until mgs4 where we once again got to play as our hero. And he was an auld man. See what I'm getting at ? The replacing of hayter is just another aspect of playing as not snake. This time its a little bit more personal. It cuts hella deeper.

This is all just delusional fan boying. Ayes. But we all know something WILL happening mgs5. Something will happen and then it wont stop happening. There HAS to be some sort of twist. Mad meta plots and cardboard box shenanigans. Its metal gear solid after all. It dose seem big boss is going by punished snake for 5. that seems some what significant to me. Its entirely possible that who we believe to be big boss isn't. That it may be another clone. All the sons of big boss other than solid we're voiced by other folk after all. Though I will admit this seems a little unlikely after recent trailers. Though. We shid NEVER trust metal gear trailers.

There are things that can be said against hayter of course. I here grumblings that doing the snake voice hurts him. But come on now folks. I feel we can be fairly confident in saying that the man would do the voice until it killed him. Folk are also on about the voice being degraded . Being a parody of itself now. I cant even process that. Like. WHO are these people ? what is wrong with there blazing souls ? The snake voice is quite huge part of the fun of any metal gear game. For me at least. A large part of the games is codec conversations after all. And yes. It may not be exactly the same as in the ps1 days. But big boss IS ageing after all.

 

Well. At the end of the day. It may just be real life shiting all over the dream. It may just be ugly personal real life stuff getting in the way of awesomeness. The thing is I hold kojima to a higher standard. The man made a game about memes in 2001 for fuck sake. He's clearly a god. Or maybe. Was a god. Still. I cling to the hope that all will be well. That its all just a funny jokey joke. That come release day everything will be set back the way it should be. That we'll all be sitting by roaring fire toasting auld kojimas genius.

We shall see.

Back up banter

Time just keeps on slipping. INTO THE FUTURE. Ayes. Ayes. Mistakes were made. Again. And id like to apologise. Again.

 

Its been like a month. Long time to you young uns. I'm sure. To us auld folk its hardly been a single blink of an aye. Time gets weird.

 

Wells a fair few things have happened in the comic world since we last had a wee chat. I'm going to try and go threw them from memory. So If I make a few things up you have been warned.

 

Green lantern ended ! Wells not really. Its still ongoing and so are the other lantern books. Big goff has stepped down from writing duties. And well. Its over. He packed his bags and took the zeitgeist with him. That and it really did feel like the last ever issue. There was hella universe shite that happed. The guardians are dead. Well mostly. And big sinestros away for a universally road trip. As well as that there was epilogues for all the main lanterns. We've now seen hal grow auld and have a happy ending. It was hella final. But that's fine. Big goff earned the right to do what ever the fuck he wanted to do with the book.

 

Also. Did I mention that it was FUCKING AMAZING. It MAY be the single best issue of GL I have ever read. Now that's probs the excitement talking. But damn son. It was wall to wall CRAZY AMAZING. Basically everybody rocked up to the first lantern. Called him on his pish. And wreaked his shite. Amazingly. Hals plan to commit suicide to say the day actually worked. Becoming a black lantern. And summoning NECKRON. Ayes. Fan bloody tastic.

Just a week after the “last” green lantern we got the first issue from the new creative team. And I quite liked it. It had a fairly nice vibe. AYES. There was a fair bit NOT to like. Carl ferris was quite the mental. Basically breaking up with hal so she can still be in love with him. Ayes. Quite the mental. Hal is the head of the green lanterns now. I like that. Like. If he grows a bad ass musstahe and gets a desk I think you can agree it be the best thing ever.

 

Age of ulton ended. Yeah. It was pish. Not even entertaining pish. Confusing hateful pish. That said. There were a few bits of it that were ok. Bizarrely fun even. Like this issue thanks to the resolution we get a shot bit with big miles morales vs GALACTUS. Ayes. Needlessly awesome. Overall though. And I cant believe I'm being this guy. Its worth a miss if you ask me. Its not really needed. I'm sure a few things have been changed around an few new books have been launched. But over all. Fuck ultron.

 

Superman unchained and batman year zero trotted out the gether like amazing buddy cops. Both were quite gid. I mean unsurprisingly. Both all star teams and both being syders. They were always going to be crowd pleaser's. Year zero was going to be rock solid anyway with it being the on going. It was unchained that needed to prove itself. And it did. For the most part. Supes was being quite the lad saving folk and that. And he dose some investigating. Snyders got all the bases covered it seems. There was this splash page that is a fold out poster. It be fine if it were all lousey gosey but naw. Its aww stuck down. So I didn't unfold it. $5 comic in aww that.

 

In further synder news. The wake was out. And I also liked it. Yup. Iv gone quite mad ted. It was like aquaman vs third impact. Or john carpenter's the thing vs third impact. Its amazingly evanglion. So far that is. We'll see how the other issues go. Worth a read if you ask me. You already kent that though.

 

I also got some 90s question comics. Not news I know. But the question had a mullet in the 90s. I wasn't ready at all for that likes. Not at all. Like I know it was a thing for heros in the 80s and 90s to have mullets. But the question likes. I wasn't ready.

comic book quikies ?

hey hey hey lets all play some crazy taxi.

 

Well it is a pretty damn gid game after all. I'm not reviewing it here though. Its just been stuck in my head a lot theses days. Summers coming. What better way to celebrate than by staying inside and playing a video game !

I'm going to try and stop talking about crazy taxi now. Right. Here I go. Ayes so I missed a week of quickies there. Ayes. Canny be helped. Things got away with me. No. no that's not true at all. It was superior spider-mans fault ! Damn dan slot and his controversial storylines ! I couldn't even think after reading that last issue ! Wells. That's amazingly untrue. It was the first excuse. Things goat away from me.

Crazy taxi as a damn good game though. Hella battle city. But if like battle city was some how even more blazing and summery. And holy god damn hell. Those Hawaiian shirts. Ayes. Best vibe likes. Truly that was a batter time. A utopian time some would say. And in my heart of hearts. I would have to agree.

Point is. I missed out a week of comic book reviewing. And that highly unforgivable. Yes I could do anther double feature. But i'm quite enjoying bleathering on here and there was only like three comics out this week anyway. So ayes. Victory for lazy bleatrhering !

BATMAN # 20

written by scott snyder art by greg capullo

Ooooft. Well. This was one hell of a crowd pleaser. I mean. Damn son. Pretty much every page was packed with utter class. The books amazingly back on track after the rough waters of stuff happening during the death of the family arc. While I have chance I shid say how funny it is to watch as folk assume Damien wyane died during that arc. Its just the look on there wee faces when you tell them that he actually kicked it in batman Inc. then they try to remember that inc is still a thing. Thems are the days to live for likes. So clay face is cutting about. Cool likes. He's a pretty gud villain if you as me. He's hella fighty. But also sneaky and steathy. Its a good combo for a bat man villain. Likes. He can dea aww the dramatics and go toe to toe with the bat man. Synders given him an upgrade. Not sure how to feel about really. Yes it certainly makes clay face more dangerous but I duny no man. Im not really feeling it. Bats dose get round it in a creative way though. Somewhat reminiscent of george cloonys bats. Hmmm. This months offering dose have a hell of a lot of heart. In relation to the effect of deamins death. Un surprisingly its all really well written. Oooh. And the bat man of the futures suit is cutting about. Ayes. Hella awesome.

 

SUPERBOY #20

written by justin jordan art by r.b silva, rob lean, kenneth rocafort and chriscross

Wellity weiilty. Here was a surprise. This issue was quite cracking. Reailtly. Ayes superboy dose have its good days and bad days. However recently there's been more bad than good. I did enjoy the he'll on earth superboy issue but they did get bloody werid. Like not weird weird. But like neartly wtf weird. And the issues since then have just been superboy cutting about. Now. Cutting about is never a bad thing. I will never criticize just cutting about but superboy is one of those dirctionless pretty much filler books. That's a bit harsh ayes. But not really a bad thing. Like if it keeps its monster of the week plot and trains at doing cutting about better it could possibly carve out a wee place in my heart. Till then is a little lightweight. That said. This issue was pretty kicking. Not so much in the fighting department but the banter is quite a step up from recent issues. Also superboy seems less of a bastard. Good likes. Its probably a good sign when we like the main charter of the book more. Comics !

 

UNCANNT AVENGERS #8

written by rick remender art by daniel acuna

Up front likes. I really really really like uncanny avengers. Its hella gid. Ayes certain avengers can come across as real dicks. Thor mainly here. But in my opinion that's the books only real failing. Because damn son. Shits HELLA epic. The celestials are going to war with earth. Because like apocalypse folk are stirring shite up. Its all fairly cracking stuff. So apparently angles dead ? I thought that was just the joke. But apparently no. there's a fair few bits of continuity stuff like that cutting about this ish. I like that. And its all very dramatic. Heavy drama vibes. That is. Banters off the charts too. Always a good sign for a comic. Gorgeous art still. Yuupers. Absolutely no complaints from me. Though like last time. I understand its a hard sell. There are a hell of a lot of other avengers books out there. But come on folks. Be a lad !

Comic book quickies double feature ! Again !

JUSTICE LEAGUE #19

written by geoff johns art by ivan reis

Big batman likes. What a guy. The goff man's running with modern internet teachings that the bats has a plan to take down everyone one. Even members of his team. Which is cracking. Because of course he dose. He is batman after all. Omnigod of creation ! The niffty wee plot of the issue is what if some one stole them plans. Which sadly is a little shite. Seeing as some guy just broke into the batcave. It cheapens the cave I think. Ayes maybe the league and that know about it but that's enough likes. For some guy to rock up to it and take down Jason todd AND Alfred is a little shite. Like the joker couldn't get in but some punk ass JL villain could ? I'm no having that. Though having said that my gut tells me the intruder is bats himself. Because sometimes he's a cunt like that. Aww wells. We'll see likes. Wonder woman thaw. She's quite horrible. Like her and superman just jump into a country and free some hostages putting the justice league in some political hot water. Which really I was fine with. Lest they were saving lives and that. But she genuinely thinks she's a god god. And by that I mean yes she might be an actual god or dimi god or what ever she actually is but she THINKS she's all powerful. That because metas are strong they should rule the earth and do what ever the fuck they want. Its like she forgets that villains exist. Ands that when one pops up she normally gets the shit kicked out of her. And that yes. She could probably take A green lantern. But probably not two. And definitely not the whole human lantern ranger team. To be fair. Superman's a lad about it. Telling her to calm doon. She totes flys off the handle at bats though. Huge mistake there.

SUPERGIRL #19

written by mike johnson art by mahmud asrar

Gotta love it when a solid comics keeps being solid. Once again. Supergirl fights a fool. Basically. Job done guys. Lets all go to the lobby and get ourselves some well earned snacks. Its all good. Life that is. Being alive and reading supergir. You have to admit there's quite a vibe to that. Its that sunny dc continuity vibe. Ayes you could just be reading superman. Fair play. But you were aww like. Naws. Lets give big supergirl a try. Good on you's likes. Its a damn well nifty made comic. Now yes its not going to set the world on fire. But it really dosent need to. Its just a solid wee book ware supergirl fights a fool. This issue we get double the bang for our buck. Two supegirls ! Well supergirl and power girl. Heela cools like. Iv not read much with power girl in it but I do here good things about the character. Also if its going to be a whole buddy cop adventure I'm totes up for that. As you know I'm slightly partial to that whole sub genre there. Its kind basically my soul. We also get some shameless costume damage forcing a costume change this issue for powergirl. That's indeed something all right.

AMETHYST #7

written by christy marx art by marc andreyko

Amethyst number seven should be subtitled the return of the swagger. Because yes sonny jims. The swagger has indeed retuned. It did wobble a bit last issue. Eclipso really felt a bit shit. He sort of gets a better chance to shine here. Cutting about the fantasy world being more fantasy if you get me. Like he's using magic and that. They do a good job of integrating him to the world. Hells, having said that I dinny ken a thing about the first amethyst from back in the day. Maybe eclipso was always a thing. Hmm. Utter shames on me. Apart from that there is still a lot of plot happening. Like if your looking for a comic ware things happen. This is the book for you. Because things indeed happen. Like folk die son. They just die. Important folk. Folk with big things happening. Its interesting. I didn't think they'd kill off the movers and shakers this early. But as we've already established I don't understand the world any more. Its fine. Amethyst is still a damn fine comic well worth reading. Like you there. Eric ! You ! Should read this book !

 

GREEN LANTERN NEW GAURDIANS #19

written by tony bedard art by andres guinaldo

Kyle and the team get there shit together after being mind raped by the first lantern. I really cant get over how amazingly none of the team were taking the first lanterns shite. It really was gurren lagann ish. Perhaps even laddish of them. Damn laddish of the writer to be sure. Now this issue didn't quite live up to the last two. It was if I'm being honest a little bit like filler. You what son. That ok with me. This was filler used to surprisingly good effect. Remember that last issue of actual green lantern ware sinestros home planet got utterly wrecked ? And it felt surprisingly hollow ? Well we get some follow up on that here. We get to see the aftermath and sinestros rage at it. Which is neat. We also get a nice bit of kyle trying to use the white ring to bring back the planet. Which if you ask me is way cool. Kyle IS white lantern after all. He kinda is a wee god right now. It dosent go well yes but at least he gave it a go. So far I am likening this event. Its a lot more fun than the last one, though that may not be all that a hard thing to be. I'm not missing the mad guardians. Yet.

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK SIX

written by brian michael bendis and drawn by folk. Its confusing.

I'm starting to feel it. No. not the actual event. The HATE for the actual event. Its beginning to snake its way threw my body. It feels good. Hate is always wonderful. So like I said before. I couldn't really bring myself to actually hate. Age of ultron. Its a dark dystopian future and all the bleak negative tropes that come with it I cant really complain about. Its just what thee going for. Things get really stupid though. And that too would be fine. Thing is this is the issue ware things start to effect the marvel universe. Kinda. We'll see ware it all gos in the end. But for now. Spoilers I should say. Wolverine has went back in time and killed hank pym. See that son . See aww that. FUCK THAT. That's just about the worst thing iv ever read. If I didn't know better I would have thought it was written by mark fucking miller. Its sick. Its the most modern cut writer of a thing to do. The hell happened to you bendis ? And how did you get over it so amazingly ? Sigh. I just don't know what any thing's about any more. Well. At lest I still ken sue storms a massive bastard. I go as far to say she's the worst human to ever live. Because shes there. She could have easily stopped wolverine. But she didn't. Because I duuno. She just wants humanity to suffer. Its totes her thing these days. Maybe. Just maybe Ill one day eat tho's words. Its difficult to tell ware every thing's heading. This event has been massively pish so far but it might end strongly. And even then It might be a know event seeing as there's another marvel event just wrong the corner. Ahh wells. Always remember what sue storm did here today. Or rather. What she didn't do. And forever hold it against her.

 

IRON MAN #8

written by kieron gillen art by greg land

Offft yes. Have I ever mentioned how I bloody love gillens iron man ? Because DAMN SON its just utterly cracking. It has virtually everything a I want from a good comic. Action AND banter and of course. The most important element. SPACE. Fun space that is. With aliens and robots. And big ass laser beams. God damn love space. Has to be said. Also gladiatorial combat. That's in the mix here too. Big tony stark is fairly good at the auld gladiatorial combat. Ayes it probs happened to him a thousand times before. But I like to think its thanks to those combat lessons from the living legends big captain America. There's plot to be had here as well. The transforming drinks dispenser pulls off a dramatic double cross bringing the mad celestials crashing down on house. Fantastic. I genuinely thought they were dead. Didn't they die at the end of hickmans ff run ? Doom was all up in there grill and I seem to remember something about galatus and his CRAZY wrestling skills. Aw wells. Those mad god lads are always a lot of fun. We don't actually get a fight between them and shell head. But that's fine likes. Them just being there was enough for me. So ayes. You should really give this run ago. So don't be put of by land. His art really works well here. Yes. No fooling.

THE SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #8

written by dan slott art by humberto ramos

ohhh mahhh hgawd. SHIT JUST GOT REAL FOLKS ock is fully aware of yami peter. I expect card game based buddy copping within the month. Its goona rock.. yes it is. Search your feeing internet person. You know it to be true. Are people REALLY still down in superior out there ? Whits rang with you. Its grate stuff. Ayes. Its different. And sometimes a little weird. And ock has gained a touch of the grim dark for some unknown reason. But its fun likes ! And its still as well written as the rest of slots run. This issue was a lot nifftyer than last. Well I thought so at least. Don't know what it was last time. I just wasn't feeling the vibe for some reason. Shame on me. This time though. I was feeling it. It was a lot more continuity er. There was some call backs to tocks plan too cook the world from ends of the earth. Which is nice. Seeing ock confront the fact that ock was all for whipping out humanity in what mas be a few weeks to months ago in in universe time . Ayes they do say it was last year. But hey. That still not all that long ago to be a genocidal mad man. Its all fun's likes. Now some might say that I jumped at the the spoiler reveal a little too early there in the review. And they'd be right. But come on now Ted. We all sort of knew that things would one day work themselves out. And now here we are. Hopefully it will go well for auld yami peter. As iv said many a time before. He's quite the lad.

 

so this JUST became a double feature folks !

MASKS #6

wtitten by chris roberson art by dennis calero

I like zoro. What a lad he is. Just cutting about pulp hero times. Ha ! Cutting about. Sometimes I just crack myself up. This was a fairly ok issue I have to say. Now it didn't knock my socks off or anything. But that's ok. It was fine. Kind of more of a transitional issue. Getting everyone where they need to be. Now if it was my decision I wouldn't have any of that. But fair play. I get why it needs to exist. So like I was saying. Its a neat issue. All told. Lots of nifty wee character moments and interactions. And we get a quick peak at what seems to be the big bad. No complaints really. Every things moving along nicely. Sadly that really dosent give me much to talk about. So ayes. It gets my coveted seal of approval ! Damn quick quickie there.

JUPITER'S LEGACY # 1

written by mark millar art by frank quitely

this was shite. I gave it ago and it was shite. Lets just move on.

BATMAN INC #10

written by grant morrison art by chris burnham

TAKE FLIGHT BAT GOD. Guys. Its happening. The batgods going to war. And I really have to say. Big bats isn't pishing aboot. Like its agaist everything he stands for but wouldn't be surprised if he just dosent kill the fuck out of talia. Like at this point she pretty much deserves it. So batman inc has kinda fallen. Like bruce has disbanded it but dick is carrying it on in secret. Cools. Bruce kind of gets edgy sometimes. I don't want to say he makes bad decisions during times like theses. Because he omnipotent. Being a god and all. Its just you know. Writing and all that jazz. For some reason he man bats up. Which is cool. I'm not really sure why. Dose he need that extra powah ? I just assumed he'd rock up to Wayne tower. Clear it out floor by floor like the beast he is. As man batman he IS piloting a suit of power armour. Now guys. Logic can fuck right off. Because that is awesome. The image of him screaming towards Wayne tower is hella striking. The bat god unleashed indeed. So yeah. Damn fine issue. We're getting to the end of big morrisons run as well. Not sure how to feel . It wont be the same anyway when he's done and gone. That's for sure.

FF #6

written by matt fraction art by joe quinones

READ FF. I'm telling you folks. You should be going out there to your friendly neighbourhood comic shop and buying FF. Why ? For the god damn AMAZING breakfast vibe. Yes. That right. We git a bit where the team just sit about and have breakfast. Yes. I shit you not. Its the most perfect thing iv ever read. The vibe was off the bloody charts. Best two pages of a comic ever you ask ? Hmm. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. In recent years thanks to rebuild of evangleion 2.0. iv come to think of launch as the beast meal of the day. Thanks to this comic I may have to re think that. You know. Some comic do have the power to change how you think. They can reach deep into your brain and change you. FF is definitely one of those books. Its doing very important vibe based work. Oh ayes. There was plot that happened. It was all quite nicely done. Medusa has gone mad ted and abducted bently or some pish and the yancy street gang canny be deaing with ms thing. Its just all that really just gets over shadowed by the breakfast. Like just thinking about it right now. Im not sure how I can go on with my life. I just want to keep relieving those two pages. Those two perfect pages.

 

FANTASTIC FOUR #7

written by matt fraction art by mark bagley

So how much of a colossal bastard is reed Richards like. The answer is utterly. Reed Richards is an utterly colossal bastard. Yes. We already knew that. It seems everything he dose is will dick off someone at some point down the line. Thing is. That's what this entire issue was about. No joke. Maybe I'm missing something but the plot this month seemed to be to make the team as un-likeable as possible. Ayes the things natural lad field protected him from the worst effects but god damn son. The team are transported to the end of the universe by god franklin and then are taken in and help by some nice aliens who've decided to stay and watch the end of time. Fair play to them. There the same dudes that sent blastaar to the big bang last issue. And for some reason. Some MAD reason. Reed takes this as an insult. Ayes the aliens plan isny aww that amazing but reeds aww. That's dumb ! I'm the smartest there is ! U should do my plan ! The aliens are aww naw thanks son its fine. Reed like go's off in a huff and steals the big bad monster. Saying you cant just drop your problems in the past. AND THEM EMEDIATLY DUMPS BLASTAAR IN THE NEGITIVE ZONE. The actual fuck is reed on ? What im I missing here. EVERYONE bar the thing was soo god damn un-likeble. Goosh ! I just don't get it !

UNCANNY AVENGERS #7

written by rick remender art daniel acuna

Yes. I have to say comic. I'm totally feeling the vibe. Its absolutely rocking ! Uncanny avengers isn't the easiest sale. That is to other folk. Most of it is utterly cracking. To me at least. There some wee niggles here and there. Like cap no being the red ranger or the mutants just being bastards because well there mutants and apparently the x gene means your physically incapable of ladness. The whole publicity team angle is a slight bummer too. EVERYTHING ell's though. Its off the gosh darn charts. Plot wise it kinda sort of looks like the mad celestials are going too war with earth. Once I again I genuinely assumed they were dead. Really should check up on that. Well one of them did “die” this issue. Dropped by some apocalypse punk. Cheap ayes. devaluing the whole space god thing. Definitely. Mr sinister did pilot that one celestial like a mech though. So really. Its not something to worry about. S.w.o.r.d. How amazingly shite are they likes. It seams every time they pop up in a book something they own explodes. You'd think some would get on that. Yes. So. Buy this book. Its pretty damn rad.

THE FLASH # 19

written by brian buccellato art by marcio takara

Oooofft. Hold on to your hats sports fans. This was a comic and a half. Let me tell you about big Barry Allan. Humanity's god king was without his powers this issue. The folk over at dial h stole them. Fair play you all say. Barry was in a prison being attacked by mad max villains though. So it was a tad inconvenient for him. Dose humanity's grateist hero let inevitable grizzly death dampen his spirits ? DOSE HE FUCK. Lad just solids snakes up and cuts about the prison being amazing. Arming himself with all the rouges auld gear. Barry flinging boomerangs about is a sight to see. Let me tell you that son. As you might be able to tell I quite enjoyed this issue. It was amazingly solid. Ayes the resolution to the plot was a tad shaky but ill totes forgive it. It was just so nicely written. Lots of fast paced but smart action and some genuine moments of comedy. Its just nice to see a hero who dosent crumble when his powers are taken away from them. Fuck. Barry dosent even gee a shite. He's all. It deal with it later. Lad. This might be the first comic iv read in the new 52 that has cyborg actually being happy. Hell. He's smiling most of time. Guys. He even cracks a joke. Ayes. Absolutely cracking comic. Reverse flash coming next as well. Yay !

ULTIMATE COMICS SPIDER-MAN #22

written by brian michale bendis art by sara pichelli

So massive massive spoilers guys. I guess. With the latenesses all up in here I suppose it dosent matter any more. But miles mum died. I think ? She got like shot in the armpit. I guess fatality ? The fuck is wrong with miles family. Apart from him there like all to a man, made of plastersine. I assume when his dad fines out he'll die of hart brake or some pish. Miles dose seem to be staying with big gankes family though. I do like that. That could possibly generate one hell of a vibe. Building lego all night and that. Though I spose grieving for your tragically dead mother could put a dampener on things. Oh weels. Gotta look on the bright side of things. At least miles has something to drive him on now. And you never know. His mum might get a clone at some point down the line. Worked out well for gwen. And venom was just some guy that worked for roxcon. So ? Good I guess ? At least it wasny big eddie brock going about being mental. But he dose that anyway ? I forget that last thing eddie did in the ultimate verse. Its been I while since I checked up on him. I gotta say. I liked this issue. It was a little sparse for my taste but it did have a big moment for miles. So a guess it all evens out. Fun times !

TEEN TITANS #19

written by scott lobdell art by eddy barrows

So for yet another month on the trot teen titans was once again a mixed bad. Now logicality I should jut say it was terrible. Because it really kinda was. Not offensively bad but not really worth reading either. But I dunno man. There were some parts here and there that I did at least enjoy even tough I cant bring my self to say they were actually good. So trigon just attacks earth. Like on his own. He's just cutting about new York I think on a 3 headed horse. No real build up or anything. He's literally just a big red guy going about toon. And I kind of dug that. And damn son. This trigon is hammy as hell. You'd think a big cosmic devil god wid have less banter. But no. he's making one liners and such. Really he seemed to be doing quite a bad impression of Dr doom. I can sort of here actual teen titans fans screaming right now. So red robin is still possessed or what ever pish is wrong with him. Its somewhat hard to tell the difference. Red not all that nice of a character to begin with and now that he's being almost comedicaly evil. I'm almost tempted to say its an improvement. At least he's a little bit entertaining now. Oh yeah. Like a hundred folk like actually die this issue. Just so causally. And not as you would Imagen because of trigon. Some punk as akira kid is just going about mind crushing fools. At one point a whole gaggle of army folk just drop dead. In a single panel. And the titans are loike. Oh nose ! This will make us look bad ! Fuck off with that that shite comics.

Comic book quickies

SAGA #12

written by brian k. vaughan art by fiona staples

The single best episode of meet the author ever ! Well maybe except for that one issue of animal man with big grant Morrison. Saga there. Just cutting about. Being amazing again. No surprise really. It is saga we're dealing with after all. Its strange. Its only been in my life a short while. But its hard to Imagen comics without saga any more. That's something for me to think about. I here this issue generated some amount of controversy. Don't really see it my self. Last issue was amazingly more explicit. Oh wells. Maybe that's a part of the controversy. Apart from that it just a very bantery issue, like cover to cover banter. Little bit of fighting here and there. But mostly its banter. In lesser hands that could have led to disaster. But of course that's not the case here. There's like a squirely medic / mouse thing and a Cyclops man. Its pretty rad. Has to be said. Damn you saga ! Your just so damn good I don't really have much to talk about. I know I say that about a lot of stuff. But saga likes. It really is that way. Course you already know that. You read comics therefore you read saga. Or do I have that wrong. I have herd rumours of possible spots of resistance. Hmm. Ill have to send the storm troopers to investigate. Stay tuned.

THE STANDARD #2

written by john lees art by john rector

Now this was cracking. I liked this second issue a lot more than the first one. Maybe that's because we got to hang about with auld man standard. Now I liked kid standard. Booster gold that he was, its just that I was sold on auld man super hero cutting about and with this issue we finally got that. And I have to say. It was done pretty well. Like it could have been hateful. It could have been aww auld people are terrible and made fun of them. But no. auld man standard is quite the lad and he's handled with dignity. The wee authors note at the back of the first issue talked about not wanting to be grim dark and that shines threw more here. Auld man standard could have easily been a joke. About how ageing destroys you. About the loss of innocence and all that pish. Amazingly though. Genuinely not the case here. That really makes me happy loikes. Its nice to see ladness spreading from my home land. The art seemed to be upgraded just a little bit. Maybe its just me. But it seemed a little a sharper. Less amiutureishh. Maybe that's a little pretentious for me to say. But this time the art did seam to be improving. I like it ok ! If you fancy a wee bit of indi superhero action the standards your man !

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK #5

written by brian michael bendis art by bryan hitch

So guys. Like still. How can I say this again. Yeah. Still not buying this whole ultron thing. I here terrible terrible things said about it almost non stop. I can totes get that. Its been fairly horrible so far if we're being honest. I really should be one of the people complaining about it. Here's the thing though. It just dosent bother me all that much. Like if this was the actual marvel universe id be actually fuming. But for now its just a wee alternate time line. Now yes. What with the timey whimey developments of this issue and the spoilery covers for upcoming issues there is room for this wee abomination to become very very real. And when that day comes you can be damn sure ill be out there on the streets screaming and weeping. But right now. No matter how much it should offend me. It just dosent. So bendis right. The actual fuck were you on when you were wrighting this. Like I can get going for grim dark ware everyone dies like punks. But come on son. This isn't even good grim dark. I might go as far to call it sloppy. It feels like a bad tv show. Made for the syfy channel. Yes there's spectical but it also feels somewhat cheap. And FUCKING everyone's out of character to some degree. Something that once again would have me rageing. But dosent. So once again. Lets wait and see. Easy dose it. Easy dose it. The marvel lads MIGHT be going some ware with this event. But if they don't. Holy fuck why ?

UNCANNY AVENGERS #6

written by remender art by daniel acuna

BOOOOM oh mah god oh mah gawd ho my actual cracker eating god. This was BLOODY fantastic. Cover to cover a joy to read. A real sight to behold. So its a flash back issue to the days of kid thor. Well young man thor. Lad thor lets call him. I here the main thor book has this time of thors life pretty well down but it was nice to see it presented so AMZINGLY in a avengers book. So lad thors cutting about with the Vikings and that while kang stirs up shite with apocalypse. Its. Magical. Again I cried a little. Partly because I wasn't expecting it to be all that amazing and partly because it was just that god damn solid. Maybe its just a novelty to me. But apocalypse just cutting about in a tavern and beating the shite out of thor is perfect. It probably be my moment of the week. That is if fantastic four wasn't out. More on that bellow. Thor also pulls off one of my all time favourite tropes. The big damn heroes moment. FOR LONDON. The gods have not abandoned us indeed. It just has fucking everything ! I really can say more than that. Also. The art. gorgeous man. I feel like the artist did some issues for bendis late in his avengers run. I was having some flash backs to pink hulk super adaptoid norman ozborn. Not necessarily a bad thing Ill have you know.

 

FANTASTIC FOUR #6

written by matt fraction art by mark bagley

Let us for a moment consider the extreme ladness of ben grimm. The thing. If I was pushed for my top 5 marvel characters. The thing would defiantly be up there. The sheer absolute ladness he generates is the stuff of legend. The saga of ben grimm should be taught to our young. From their earliest days they should be taught about his amazing adventures and his continuing ladness in the face of the universes dickery. Yes he's a monster. A hulking rock man. So fucking what. At no point dose he let that stop him from cutting about. Making scooby doo sandwiches. Watching tv. And pulling off kamina level fuck destiny shite like he dose this issue. Gotta give even more credit to fraction here. You got me you hipster bastard. You really did. All issue the thing is set up for a fall. The recap blurb reminds us he's been having anger problems. Hulking out into lava thing. We open on him fumbling with asprens. But he holds it together. By the end though. Dose he fall ? DOSE HE FUCK. The four are cutting about the big bang. See a guy strapped to a rock floating threw pre existence. The debate helping the guy. Sues aww like what do you think about this ben. But ben. Bens already outside. Gonna help the guy. WE'R THE FANTASTIC FOUR SUZIE PANTS. WE DONT JUST LET NOBODY DIE. THESE ARE THINGS BEN GRIMM SAYS. I really canny stress it enough. This may be my top moment of there year so far. And if you've been following me recently you'll know I think very highly about the quality of current comics. So that's gotta tell you something about this amazing scean. So ayes. You goota read this book !

BATMAN #19

written by scott snyder art by greg capullo

Well likes. This was batman. Being batman. I canny man. I just canny likes. Argue with that I mean. Those of you with long memorys will ken I really hate when batman isn't being batman. Now yes I do go on about the bat god a lot. Maybe too much. That's fine. I can deal with that. But stuff like the first volume of hush. Really gets my goat. When I read a batman comic I want to see batman being batman. Doing batmanny things. Like cutting about gotham. Paunching folk. Driving about in the batmobile. We don't get a hole lot of that here but It gets across that vibe quite nicely. Its bizarrely fresh. Sharp and crisp. That or iv gone quite mad. Its better than last issue. That's possibly what I'm trying to get at here. Ware last issue felt terribly fan ficy this one felt properly batman. There's a bizarre cold open. Yes. Probably clay face related. Or a subversion of clay face related shite. So really its all good in the hood. Or should I say cowl ! Ho ho ho ! I'll be quite now.

SUPERBOY #19

written by scott lobdell art by r.b silva

See this. This might be they single most un laddshishly hateful comic iv ever read. Now. That may be amazingly harsh. And I'm sorry for that. But deer e o me. What the hell guys. Just like. Its hard for me to describe to you. I wouldn't call it conventionally hateful. Its not like anything remarkably annoying happens. Its just all kinds of blughrg. Likes. Likes. likes. I'm trying to focus on the content of the actual issue right now. But I cant. MY MIND WONT LET ME. It dosent want me to remember any of it. Now don't get me wrong. It wasn't bad bad. Just dark agey in its plot. So much irrelevant shit happens. So many justification's and motivations that you meant to take on board but your like. Naw. Fuck that son. So at some point in the future the meta humans go to war with normal humans. Just naw. I'm not having that. That's cunty writing. That's something a writer from the mid 2000s would come up with. Superman wouldn't allow that. And if he's dead then his descendants wouldn't allow that. LADNESS itself wouldn't allow that to happen. So yeah. Don't go out of your way to read this comic because iv made it out to be terribly bad. Its not actually aw that. Its just weirdly offensive to my sensibility's. Sometimes I wonder if I should mellow out more when reading suprerboy. I'm not saying I should turn my brain off. Just look at it from a different angle. Up there I complained about it being dark agey. I like they 90s loikes. From time to time I like 90s comics. Maybe that's what there shooting for with superboy. I dunno man. Sometimes I just don't understand this crazy mixed up world any more.