I used to have some strong and
controversial opinions about the avengers film. As the years passed I
mellowed out and I no longer hold most of theses views. The following
review has been declassified from the mad hats black list.
It seams the avengers film was the
defining event of our youth. I'm sure people don't think its the best
film ever made but they probably think its the beast super hero film
and possibly the most laddish. they of course use the term laddish
AMAZINGLY wrongly. Lad used in the auld dark way. Lad like bloke if
you will.
So there I was genially hyped for the
film. How couldn't I be. It was a team super hero film that had the
actual actors from the highly successful and well liked marvel films.
This was something that was on the horizon since 2008s highly
cracking iron man. It had geek god joss whedon as director. Every
base was covered. It couldn't possibly suck.
But I didn't like it.
Yes there probably is something wrong
with me. I get that. There is probably many things really. Basically
I'm just being that guy. The thing is. I'm aware of it. I was aware
of it DURING the film. It started and probably not 5 minutes in I
knew I didn't like it. I just didn't like it. Its hard to logically
explain why but ill try to at least give it a go.
Hypes probably a factor. I do tend to
hype things up quite a bit. To the point ware life dose tend to feel
quite hollow. I don't think you could not hype avengers. It was
fucking avengers. Like how do you even describe what that kind of
film meant to this generation. OOO. I know. Avengers is like new 10s
space jam. Its like an event film ware all your favourite child hood
icons team up to fight a threat but like on the big screen. So it was
modern age space jam and I didn't like it. Just take that in. its the
modern age bit that probably ruins it. The modern age is
discusstingly horrible. That thing about each generation being less
than the last is so perfectly true. Yes I'm an auld man. Deeply
cynical . But jamsus fuck. Its like being the only sane man on the
planet when you see the pish the kids of today come out with.
I don't like joss wheadon. Yes. Come at
me. If I cared more id probs say I hated him. Now fair play. Quite a
bit of firefly is damn gid. There's also quite a bit of it that's not
laddish in the slightest. And I feel he's slightly defensive about
its cowboy bebop/ outlaw start influences. That might be highly
untrue but its the feeling I get from him. Never watched buffy. Just
never appealed to me. Apart from that I ken fuck all what he's done.
The script for titan a.e ? fair play that's laddish. But mainly for
vibe reasons. Whedon thaw. He's not a lad. That would be fine. But
what irks me is people THINK he's a lad. He's kind of cunnty likes.
He killed wash. That's really just unforgivable. He's basically just
all about the emotional baiting. So him being the director of
avengers is definitely a negative for me.
I didn't like the plot of avengers. It
sucked ass. Again. I probably think that because of the hype. Like
I'm not sure what I really wanted from the film. But I feel what we
got was pretty hollow. Like its not all the memorable to me. Maybe I
was expecting some gern defining moment of amazingness. Like just
wall to wall awesomeness. I don't think we even got close to that is
the thing like there were bits of the film ware it wasn't awesome.
Like there were bits ware talking happened. Set up and exposition. I
don't think I was expecting that. Also im probably been spoiled buy
actual avengers comics. Ware shite normally gets god puanchinly
fantastic.
I wasny too blown away with the
characters. Ayes that's sort of mad to say what with me enjoying
there individual films. Its just. I dunno. I'm note sure I remember a
single line from the film. Not off the top of my head or anything.
Ayes probably if pressed. But nothing really stands out. Fuck hawk
eye and the black widow though. You do not do the metal gear vibe any
kind of justice. I don't think they got captain Americas legendary
hero ness down. Like the captain America film didn't either but that
was fine because that was set in the 40s when he was still just a man
and we still had the avengers to come for them to work on it. But
caps just cutting around the 21st century with no fuss.
Yes they sort of tried with the scean in Germany but again it rang
hollow for me. It just didn't get cap. I get this is just my nit pick
but I really didn't like the hulk. He was bloke ish. He appealed to
blokes. Its mad yes but his widely worshipped wrecking of loki makes
me shiver. I REALLY do not like any kind of back ingerry. Yes I know
it was loki and its fine cause he's a god. But the hulk could do that
to anyone. Yes I know that's not a legitimate complaint but that's
what I feel about it. Loki was a actual punk. He acted like a guy.
Like a mere mortal. They fuck ? Ayes he's just a space god but come
on people. Its like they weren't even trying.
Now I think at this point I like bad
films better than good films. I blame reviews. When a good film is
good. That's fine. But there's not really much to talk about. When a
bad films bad its AMAZING ! So much to talk about so much to remember
! It becomes iconic. Basically a bad films more meme worthy. So its
possibly I don't know how to watch a good film any more. Though that
really cant be true. I still like other “good” films. Like I
find bad films far more enjoyable than good films. A bad film is
probs more funny than a good comedy. That's probably saying something
about the modern age there
I not quite sure ware this hate of mine
comes from. I'm not willing to give avengers anything. I have no time
for it. Its a bad film to me but not in the same way the bad films I
was talking about above. Its not a good film. Its a bad bad film.
Like I'm not having fun not likening it. And I don't even want to not
like it. But I do.
Like I was saying. I'm probs just that
guy. Not likening something because its popular. I don't want to be
that guy. I kinda am though. I genuinely hate the young folk. As
we've covered. There just so imperfect. Like we auld bastards are
GODs in comparison to them. And when they go on about there perfect
film it sickens me. Its possible I want the most absurdly continuity
heavy impenetrable film that the maasies will hate so I can love it.
Sorry's likes.
So basically. I thought the avengers
was shite.
