comic book quickies: its still march !

Fairly light week all in all. Took me by surprise it did. Still batman was out. That always makes it a solid week. OR DOSE IT. READ ON !

 

BATMAN #18

written by scott snyder art by andy kubert

Uuuuurrrhgh. Your going to hate me like. Canny be helped. I didn't think this issue was all that gid. Now calm doon. It wasny pish or anything. I just didny personally like it all that much. Its aww about them bastards. What's there faces. Canny mind there names. Like I could check. I have the comic right here. Kinda my point though. I don't care about theses characters. Its that brother and sister team from earlier in the run. Dave and not dave ill call them. Not dave is the one who saved batman after he escaped the court of owls maze thingy. You can already see why I don't like her. Both of them feel VERY fan ficy. There young and cool. Actual bastards. We get some back story on there bastard dad. Don't care. Just don't care. Now big batman himself is in the issue. Going a wee bit mad. Damien is apparently actually dead and bats taking his rage out on street punks. The main driving point of the story is bats isny sleeping and he's going to get himself killed if he dosent stop. I don't buy it. I feel like even though his son is dead batman wid be more controlled. Ayes he can go berserk but its only his son and really. Its kinda sucky that there going with the whole genre blind thing. When bats “died” at the end of final crisis did the bat family actually think he was dead ? DID THEY FUCK. I just feel the bat god should be aware of comic book death. Secondly. Get himself killed ? After a week of fighting street punks ? Get tea fuck. This is a batman were talking about. He is a god. He can do anything. Now ayes. New universe and younger batman. But come on folks. That's just weak. Thirdly ! Its not dave that snaps bats out of his funk. You see ware the fan ficky ness comes in now ? Now yes I will say not dave brings up some decent points. I cant really fault what she has to say. Its just coming from her it like a slap in the face. She's just some person. A bloody mortal. Some mook off the street. This issue dose have a pretty niffty fight with a venom infused dog. So it evens out in the end. Heh.

SUPERBOY #18

written by scott lobdell and tom defalco AND tony lee art by r.b silva and iban coello

Come on now superboy. Could you for one issue STOP with the god damn exposition dump intro. For god damn fuck sake. We KNOW your a living weapon. You TELL us that every SINGLE issue. Its driving me INSANE. I just cant take it any more. I kid. Its only a wee nit pick of mine. And who am I to complain about repetition. Likes. Superboy by the way. Its all right. like iv said before. Its no mind blowing and it defiantly has its up and downs. I should drop it. I cant though. I just cant ! Because madness. Also some issues I do quite enjoy. Like this one. It was pretty fun. I dunno why man. Maybe it just appealed to my monster of the week sensibility's. Its a sort of journey to centre on the mind plot. Superboys mind that is. That is some guy like accidentally then on purpose invades superboys mind. I say some guy. Its Dr pycho. No idea if he's new or not. Totes could be for all I know. I'm sorry my lack of DC continuity shames both me and my family. So the he'l on earth arc ended. I assume it went well. I don't get superman you see. Earth looks ok though. So alls well. Big lex luthor appearers at the very end here so maybe the book will be going somewhere at some point. Cools like. Its not like superboys been aww that meaningful a book up to now. Ill keep reading. Maybe it will get consistent at some point. Hopefully !

 

FANTASTIC FOUR #5

written by matt fraction art by mark bagley

See this pals. This right here. This actual comic. This is a episode of Dr who. Don't know what ell's to say. Just every single thing about it was Dr who ish. Like trope for trope guys. Its very much a time traveller messing with time story. This time it was accidental which was nifty. We even get a nice fillery money shot monster fight. Noice loikes. The fantastic four themselves are pretty un shocked by the weirdness of the other time traveller and his exploits. Fair play likes. They ARE the fantastic four after all. No matter what. Thieve ALLWAYS weirder shite. I quite like that running joke about them. I am likening this run. Its pretty much basic domestic FF nes. That's cool likes. That's pretty much what the four should be about. We do have the added benefit that its a road trip threw time and space. It could do with more Hawaiian shirts in my opinion though. Sues still the most hateful being in existence. Iv come to expect that. its just her thing. Aye reed kept A secret from you. CALM THE FUCK DOON. He's a bastard. You know this. And its no like sues the pinnacle of human morality. Big namor anybody ? So aye. Damn fine comic booking ! I do like it really ! Despite the horrible things I say !

 

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK TWO

written by brain michael bendis art by bryan hitch

Well this was a surprise. Genuinely didn't ken this was going to be a weekly thing. It is a weekly thing right ? Hella awesome stuff there marvel. Ayes they might have had this sitting for two or so years. But damn son. You canny beat momentum. Its just the best likes. Ayes. It will be expensive. But come on pals. EVENT MOMENTUM. its still very pretty likes. Ayes I guess that's the main selling point here. Big hitch is doing a bang up job. Cant fault it. Wells. I can. Though its probably just a nit pick. The book reads fast. If you get me. You start it and boom. Its done. Its just not very dense. I noticed it in the first issue but I thought id wait and see how things went before bringing it up. Maybe we've just been spoiled by big dan slott and his ultra dense spidy story's. Ayes. That might just be it. Plot wise this issue was fine. Weirdly about the black widow and moon night. Guh. Likes. They were cutting about nick fury's secret underground barber shop thaw. Always awesome when that pops up. Peter parker slept threw the apocalypse. Ayes. Bendis. Ill give you that. That was a nice touch. Still not buying ultron is capable of aww this shite. Really. I ask you. Evil robot invades and conquers earth. THE fuck is big DOOM at. Cant Imagen he'd stand for any of ultrons shite. Like not at all. The issue did have one highly enjoyable moment to be fair. CAPTAIN AMERICAS BACK ON HIS FEET. Safe to say. My expectation are high for the next ish.

Comic book quickies march whenevers

THE SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #5

written by dan slott art by giuseppe camuncoli

Aye. So aye. Aye hi hi ! Big superior spider-man. That slott. Just blasting them out. No complaining likes. I here slight rumblings that it well end soon ish . Which if true is a damn shame. I'm fairly likening big doc ock and yami petes adventures together. Now ayes. Big ocks no aware of pete. Yet. Hopefully when it happens both party's will be cool about it and set out on a buddy cop adventure. This issue was pretty gid. Ock gets a new supporting cast member in the form of a crazy amazingly one piece ish science chef and he deals with massacre. Now ayes. Ock MIGHT have shot him. But I'm guessing because they didn't show the actual death that he's no actually killed him. We shall see though. Time will tell. Dinny ken how to feel if he has killed massacre. That's a step too far. Even if the bastard deserved it. Like the bastard REALLY dossny deserve to live. Aye. Now that's the point of his character. But I dinny know man. Him just killing folk left right and centre just kinda takes a lot of the fun away. Maybe its just me. When you start putting villains in story's that just kill folk it kinda takes some of the magic away. Like aye. The hero probably shid kill him. That just makes the hero less hero ish if you ask me. In super hero comics that is. And aye I know there's plenty of killers in auld spidys rouges gallery. I dinny like to think about it like that though. It spoils a certain amount of buddy copness for me.

IRON MAN #7

witten by kieron gillen art by greg land

Glorious ! Actually glorious ! The had me at iron man in space but then the backed it by actually making it good. It was a little concerning likes. The first five or so issues were classy monster of the week fun. Aye there was an over arching plot but the individual issues were ooo so monster of the week. So moving it to this we bit more ongoing plottyness was slightly concerning. Well not really. But it is marketed as a tie in / aftermath to last years A vs X. which is slightly weird considering we're now onto the next big event. Don't let it put you off though. Its cracking stuff. What's not to love. Everybody's at least a little fond of auld shell head and space its self is way wicked. Rad even. This issue we get big tony stark cutting about space jail dressed as a jedi bantering with his transformer lawyer buddy then shit gets amazing when tony takes to the arena to clear his name with a spot of gladiatorial combat. atualy love comics. Now aye. Greg land is STILL on art duties. Its still fine though. Id go as far to say it even looks a bit gid. Controversial I know. The glossiness just sort of works for this run. Its no bad thing. Also his name is fairly easy to spell. That makes me happy.

 

ALL NEW X MEN #8

written by brian michael bendis art by david marquez

Mmmmmmm. Ayes. Tasty comic right here. Damn likes. We live in a world. With a good x men comic. Now now. Calm doon likes. Calm doon. I troll. I'm sure there are some damn fine x men comics out there. It just was never my bag. I admit that. I'm just no a big x men fan. This though. Hot damn. This is an actual comic. I wasny too hyped when we aww herd big bendis was leavening the avengers and moving to x men. Aye I was aww like ill give it a go. Genuinely wasny expecting to like it. Not enough to continue with it. How god damn amazingly wrong was aye likes. Now one of my esteemed colleague said to me recently this was possible the best of the marvel now stuff. I kinda have to agree. The only thing that could contest it would be iron man. On its best day though. All new x men has been both constantly grate and cranked out at rapid fire pace. canny fault that. Like in no way. This ish mostly focused on angel and kid angel witch is gid. Kid angle seemed a bit fun and it was nice to see him get a bit of time to banter about. Also the avengers made an appearance. inevitable but very nicely done. They had to find out about the original x men being in the present at some point. And yeah. Jean grey is like waaaaaay evil. That's already a thing. For some reason. Cant really explain it or give you any context for it. Its not like she's a super villain. But if she was her actions would make more sense. Maybe scots just made of evil and contact with him turns others evil. Those wacky x men. What are they like !

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK ONE

written by brian michael bendis art by bryan hitch

So this happened. Genuinely wasn't expecting it so soon. It actually stealthed its way up on me. And it was fine. Nothing to flashy and nothing too bad. Well there was one thing but we will get to that in a bit. Aye. So ultron. Meh ? Is he really that big a deal ? I know it dosent really matter. But I duuno man. I like robots. Robots are way cool likes. I'm no knocking robots. And I know ultrons probably kicking about with an army or some super weapon shit but last time he started shite the avengers took him doon in like a arc. I mean. Just look at that cover. Do you believe he just took all those fools ? And FUCKING hawk eye is the last man standing ? I just dinny believe it. God damn hawk eye likes. Its mostly him we follow in this first issue. And I'm fine with that. Really I am. I'm sick to god damn death of hawk eye. But its only the first issue. And's I can take it. Ill complain if he continues to be the focus. So it seams ultron has won and the marvel heroes are cutting about a dark escape from new York future. Cools. Loota room there for fun stuff. This issue really didn't do much with it but really that's what most event number ones are like. Aye so over all it was just fine. Nothing mind blowing though the art was pretty gorgeous from hitch. Lots of wreaked architecture and that. Now see that one big thing that was wrong with it ? That be the last page. Offffft that last page likes. There's not a single thing they could have done that could be more offensive to my sensibility. Right. So get this. Big captain America. The legend of our youth. Is soo broken by the apparent victory of ultron that he has to sit in the corner and cry. Aye pal. FUCK NO. I don't care how badly the heroes lost. I don't care how many people died. I don't care how utterly hopeless the situation is. At no point would captain FUCKING America give up let alone sit in the corner and sulk. It widdny matter if he was the sole surviving human being on the planet. That man would be out there. Fighting the fight ! Did anybody see how he dealt with the last days of fear itself ? Shite looked hopeless then. His shield was broken. Dude just ladded up and carried on. Admittedly he went a little insane but he did so in a lad way. So aye. Little disappointed in you there bendis

 

HAPPY # 4

written by grant morrison art by darick robertson

Ayes. So. Spoilers right. Better run if you dinny wanna here em. Because son. I'm just goona spoil the ending. Ayes so right. Here we go. So happy right. I think happy has a happy ending ! I know right ? How awesome is that. now I say I think it has a happy ending. I could be wrong likes. I could be interpreting it wrong or missing the point of certain bits and the last page in particular. But if I'm right how awesome ! Bloody big morrision likes. He can certainly do the dark stuff all right but most of what iv read from him him has ended well. And now we can maybe even add happy to that list. Cracking stuff likes. Last week I talked about how morrison gets comics. And he totally dose ! Now this issue really shows that off with a big cavalry charge from an army of imaginary friends. I gosh darn love cavalry charges in fiction. Its those big damn heroes moments that really are a huge part of why I like comics and films and that. There those very special moments that get across the purest emotions and joys. So aye. Happy was pretty damn good. Bleak as ALL FUCK. But ultimately well done. And we hope. We really hope. It was a deliberate parody of the work of mark miller. We hope.

GREEN LANTERN # 18

written by geoff johns art by alex sinclare and ardian syaf

Cracking adventures in the death zone ! Goota tell you. That's one happening place like. Seems like every cunt is hanging about there theses days. Trendy ass bastards if you ask me. Well they are dead. So that's goota be a downer I guess Wells I spouse there only kinda dead. Its confusing. Still though. This issue we get the first meeting of simon baz and big hal jordan. It dosny go all that well. Mainly because of sinestro. That big bastard. He went a tad ring mad. Slightly understandable because the universe is in danger. Still not the lad thing to do. Aye so by the end of the comic sinestro and baz are once again in the land of the living but hals still stuck half dead. He gets a weirdly awesome moment ware he considers suicide so he can become a black lantern to escape. Lets see how that plays out. It could get AMAZING. So green lantern likes. Its a whole thing isn't it. Its kinda like DC's biggest thing. Kinda actually is likes. Well aye batman and superman and that. So yeah. Green lanterns like the third big dude in book terms. And has been for ages. That's pretty nifty loikes.

DETECTIVE COMICS #18

written by john layman art by jason fabok

Dinny let that cover fool you. This issue has almost NOTHING to do with the death of damian wayne. Almost comically nothing to do with it really. There's like a page ware big Bruce is at the grave and is aww. Damians deed. Aww wells. Lets go drop in on the penguin. See what he's up to. Now it be aww well and fine if batman was raging. Just dropping fools left and right. But naw. He's incredibly calm. You'd expect him to go brutalize the penguin. But naw. He just beats him doon wea the banter. Good likes. Must be those legendary bat god nerves of steal ! Why shid the bat god care about the fate of lesser beings ! I kid though. Its probably because its a different writer and or damian isn't actually dead. We will have to wait and see really. Gid issue though. Detective comics has this damn interesting vibe going on. Its really quite special when I think about it. Its realistic but fun. Actually its a bit more than that. Its kind of difficult to pin down or to put into words. Basically I like it. And that's just awesome. Its got the penguins patter doon. That's important. The previous run had some bits and bobs with the penguin but honestly they felt a little boring. not so here. The dudes a bastard AND fun. Good combo likes. Its helps that there's a penguin plot going on ware he's losing his shit. Both figuratively and literally. So aye. Good times.

 

GREEN ARROW #18

written by jeff lemire art by andrea sorrentino

REALLY quite likening green arrow. Yes. Yes . This is actually happening. Not to be disparaging towards the character or trying new things. You know. I think its safe to say we're all just set in our ways. Too auld to change or come to a new way of thinking about things. No ? Just me then ? Fair play likes. I'm a pretty static guy. Change to me is a little bit like the devil. Now this issue. This issue was incredibly metal gear. Green arrow go's and gets him self an otacon and stealth's about a office looking for clues. Then during the cliff hanger he seemingly falls to his death while his new otacon shouts arrow ? ARROW !! ?? so ayes. Hella metal gear. Now that's a very good thing. Like evanglion metal gear is a great thing to blot to an existing franchise. The writing and art also combine to make things fantastically 90s. again its one of those thing I find hard to describe. But it feels very 90s. Very late 90s at that. Hella x files ish if you get me. Like if 1998 was a comic. This comic would be closely related to it. Ayes. So amazingly good comic. Id recommend it to pretty much anyone. Aye. Its yin of them bastards.

comic book quickies 16/3/12

GREEN LANTERN #7

written by Geoff Johns art by Mike Choi

Sinestro trys to rope Hal Jordan into investigating just how INSANE the guardians have become but both he and Hal are kidnapped by the indigo tribe. See I genuinely thought this issue was pretty meh. Mainly because I felt we had done this exact same thing like six months ago. Sinestro forces Hal to be a green lantern again. Yeah the circumstances were a wee bit different last time but not by much. Hal not wanting to be a green lantern. Yeah that's just made of guhh. I get what the big goff lad is doing. Painting Jordan's use of the ring like a slight addiction. And him wanting a normal life on earth is a step forward for him. BUT THATS SOOOOOO BOARING. And of course it will never stick. The guardians are balls out insane but at this point am sure you all know that. At one point in this issue there all for killing one of there own lanterns because he might ask too many questions. Yeah. I was hoping for some buddy cop character development for auld sinestro but if I'm honest I feel he regressed a wee bit back into space Hitler mode. That was really the main thing that spoiled my enjoyment of the issue. I think Its fair to that we're all just waiting for sinestro to properly mellow out so we can have full on buddy cop action at last.

SUPERBOY #7

written by Scott Lobdell art R.B Silva

Superboy returns home to the facility ware he was created to bring the beat down to n.o.w.h.e.r.e. Yeah so superboy's pretty gid. Like iv said in the past its an oddly bipolar book. Both the plot itself and superboy as a character. One issue he's working for n.o.w.h.e.r.e and the next he's not. Though now that I think about it most issues he is working for them. Well it at least feels like he's flip flopping between working for the man and running away to freedom. He dies this week so aw well no worry's. He dose get better though. Then he dies again. But then he gets better again. So alls well with the world. Superboys not that mind blowing of a read but its still got plenty of action and that's all a really ask of a comic.

FRANKENSTEIN AGENT OF S.H.A.D.E #7

written by Jeff Lemire art by Alberto Ponticelli

Frankenstein and the creature commandos fight against the putties from power rangers and the prototype creature commandos. YEAH. So the the non sentient vaguely slave work force of shade the humanids rise up and are basically the putties from power rangers. I like this. What I don't like is shades response to this new life from that being they don't negotiate with terrorists. Meaning the just slaughter them without a second thought. Right guy I get that they tried to take over your base and that's a pretty uncool thing to do but I don't remember the humanids saying they were gonna take over the world or even if they killed anyone. Like at all. Well they probably did. But still. We all love to see putties getting beat down but shades response just seemed overly harsh and kind of set a weird tone for the issue. Like a wasn't rooting for franky and the lads. Mainly because they were being so un lad-ish.

FANTASTIC FOUR #604

written by Jonathan Hickman art by Steve Epting

Its the epic conclusion to the current mad space god saga. And I felt a little let down by it if I tell the truth. Spoilers all that happens is future franklin and Valeria save the day. That's it. To me that's just very lame. Yeah it is cool to see future franklin wielding galactus like a pokemon trainer and yes its nice to see that the world could only be save because the fantastic four are a family and if they wernt then they'd be doomed like the rest of family less reeds from other alternate universes. Its just I think we'd have all rather liked Dr doom to be the guy that saved every one. I get that doom cant do everything and be every ware. Its just that I look at the mad space gods and I'm like yeah doom could take them. Sadly the books still going for the doom is dead thing. Well he's been to hell before and we all know how that worked out. This issue was $3.99. Naw marvel. Just naw. Really don't be that guy.

AVENGERS #24

written by Brain Michael Bendis art by Daniel Acuna

Norman Osborn has all the powers ever. Lets see how that plays out for him. Well its the end of this unfortunately at times utterly hateful and insane arc. I say unfortunately because iv quite liked most of it there's just a few wee bits that just kill me. Like properly kill me. So giving Osborn all the super powers. That's really hateful. Giving Osborn the super adaptoids powers ? That somehow makes it fun. I don't know what to say. It just works. It turns him into pink hulk. Yeah that's kind of awesome. The avengers beat Osborn by touching him. That's somehow crazy awesome to me. Spider man gets a line in this issue that actually redeems this entire arc for me. Bendis you beautiful troll. As much as I loved super adaptoid pink hulk Norman Osborn I cant help wondering why marvel just wont let him be the green goblin again. Yeah the corporate pimp look sorta works for him but lex luthor has that look down to a fine art.

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE #1

written by Brian Michael Bendis art by Mark Bagley

Well there's a fourth team of avengers now and I really don't know why. Well its to cash in on the upcoming film but as of issue one thieve not yet given an in universe reason for the new team. Knowing bendis we'll find out by the time our grand kids enter high school. There was super villain that thought the hulk was only a myth. I read that and my head exploded. I don't really have any words for that. For now I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt. It is a new villain that I don't know anything about so its possible his back story involves living under a rock for most of his life. Its very pretty book and its always nice to see bendis and bagley together. Lads that they are.