Comic book quickies

This weeks quickies aren't as late as you think. Thanks to the easter weekend we didn't get comics until Friday. Gosh darn Friday ! Weels. Canny really complain. It certainly adds to the event vibe.

THE SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #7

written by dan slott art by humberto ramos

Hmmm. What happened this issue. Nothing. Well that's a big smelly lie. Things did happen. Important things I'm sure. But vibe wise. Noting really all that crazy. Like big dock ock dosent kill any fools. I don't think anyway. It certainly feels like he just wants to kill every god damn fool in existence. I could be very wrong but was the doc always like that ? Yes he's a villain and a bad man. But is he a mad dog killer ? I dunno man. It just dosent sit right with me. Now to be fair. The avengers do lad up this issue and finely call ock spidy up for his shite. Its about time really. As iv said before. The doc REALLY hasn't been trying to hide the fact he's taken over petes body. Its a wonder its taken this long for even the avengers to notice. And that's ware the issue ends. A cliff hanger for the fight with the avengers. What happened to me man. Im slightly down on this issue. Perhaps I'm slightly fed up of ock spidy already. Is this slott fatigue ? No slotts skills are as killer as ever. It must just be my souls on the blink. So ayes. A slight lull in the cracking ness but don't quote me on that. I may just be going a tiny bit mad.

ALL NEW X MEN #1O

written by brian michael bendis art by stuart immonen

Oooh the contrast likes. Between all new x men and age of ultron that is. See are the core of all new x men it feels right. Like there are a million liitle things that make up its amazingness. But at its core it just feels right. Age of ultron ? Just dosny. I don't know man. Maybe big bendis was in a bad place when he wrote it 2 years ago. Or maybe he was just feeling particularly evil. Who knows. ALL NEW X MEN THOUGH bloody marvels stuff. See that auld mad Cyclops. You can really count on that bastard to really deliver on the crazy. Bam just turns up. Spews insanity on EVERYTHING. Then just assumes people will think hes in the right. Again I goota say. He's the most hateful bastard to ever live and damn entertaining because of it. a little more swagger and a little less crazy and Cyclops could approach kabi levels of arrogant ladness. Bam still wont accept he was responsible for killing prof x despite being entirely responsible for killing prof x. it scares me that there's probably people out there that are on his side. I call theses people anti lads.

 

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK 4

written by brian michael bendis art by bryan hitch

Son. Come here. Take a knee. Right. See age of ultron. See like. The whole entire thing so far ? Yeah. I'm still not buying it. Now let me be clear. When I say not buying it. I mean I don't buy the the actual events of the comic. Not that I don't physically buy a copy of the comic itself. That would be mad. Ted. So everyone's just dieing like punks. Yes that kinda sort of fits the the dystopian tone of what there going for. But come on son. Big she hulk gets wasp stinged to death. Naw loikes. Ulton mooks arny freiza likes. They canny do the death death beam. Its aww just a bit sad really. Folk just diny get to be awesome. Aww in a bid to big up ultron. And like I keep saying. I just don't buy it. Big luke cage died too. Cant make up my mind which death was more disappointing/ insulting. I guess cage would win out seeing as his death happened off panel. Off panel. IN THIS DAY AND AGE. God damn it likes. Now there is justification. That emma frost can read his mind from off panel and he must have been aww charred up from surviving that nukeular blast. Another me would call that niffty. Goota say though. I don't think anyone should die alone. Even if he didn't want to be seen aww broken up and that. At the very least cap shid have went to his side. Fuck. If it works out they themselves don't burrie cage. I might not know how to cope. Aye. So age of ultron. Its like a more depressing flashpoint but without lad commander Thomas Wayne. That might not be that bad a thing to be. It COULD get better. I here it might be going some ware. Lets wait and see shall we.

MASKS # 5

written by chris roberson art by dennis calero

Got to give credit ware credits due loikes. To the writers and that. Basically big zoro is spot on. Every thing I could want from him cutting about. So really no matter what happens in the narrative from here on in I really cant complain about it. Big zoro is a absolute lad. All is right with the world. So much like last time we talking about mask I still really quite dig it. Maybe that's not everyone's experience. It could just be the novelty factor for me. Iv not read that much of dynamites noire output. Well maybe one or two green hornets when the seath rogan film came out. But that's about it really. So its possible masks anint all that fantastic to you's all. Shame if that's true cause god damn. Its quite rocking. Its sort of undersatedly prefect. Like its a fantatic read but its no gonna change the world if you get me. Every things played so straight but with enough of a nod and wink for it to get by. Ayes you could probs throw the age auld too many characters complaint at it. But ken what pal. Its fine. The amount of characters is just fine. And if I might add. Dandy. Bit of a mystery building to. Quite appropriate considering the whole detective hero crew the super lads have put together. Though I do fear that when the big bad is revealed he or she will be somebody that we're meant to know and I wont get the reference. Yes. I still bring shame to my family with my lack of auld comic knowledge I must train harder !

GREEN ARROW #19

written by jeff lemire art by andrea sorrentino

Have I mentioned how amazingly metal gear green arrow is right now. Because damn son. It just amazingly is. Now that in its self is a damn magical thing. Beautiful almost. But green arrow isn't satisfied with just being the most metal gear comic on the shelves, no. no at all. This issue busted out some cutting edge shonnen vibe. Now not necessary the most shonneny tropes but shonnen tropes non the less. What I mean is we get a lot of green arrow being amazingly outclassed by fucking everyone. Like he him self says. He got beat up by a little girl. Hell of a vibe. Really. I'm genuinely surprised to be reading a green arrow comic. I don't think I can get over the sock. Its fallen into the category of comics that I really don't have much to say about because there just so damn well made. Really every single panel in this book is a absolute joy to look at. Well maybe that's a bit much. Maybe it really just is the sheer metal gearness. We do indeed get a triumphant reprise of arrow ? Arrow ? ARROW? Mmm that's sweet likes.

 

GREEN LANTERN #19

written by geoff johns art by ardian syaf and szymon kudranski

Suicide ! Hasny worked ! Yet ! It takes hal the whole god damn issue to jump off that god damn cliff. It was the most modern god damn example of pacing in comics iv ever god damn seen. See when the first thing hal didn't do was jump off the cliff and become a black lantern. I was aww like. Really goff ? Its gooning to be like that is it ? Your going to squeeze in an issue of filler here ? Yes. Yes he did. To be fair. Fillers the wrong thing to call it. Things did indeed happen. Sinestros home planet was destroyed. Like hella causally. I think. The first lanterns aww aboot the reality warping. I just assumed it was alternate future stuff happening. BUT then the dead from that planet started falling into the death zone. Which I assume remains un effected by the first lantern. So I don't know man. Big stuff is happening and that. But it dosent feel like it. The events sort of lack paunch. Its hard to describe really. I guess this must be a bit what an x men fan feels like. Lurching from one event to another. Oh proper x men fans. You mad cunts.

ACTION COMICS # 19

written by andy diggle art by tony s daniel

Diglett dig diglett dig trio trio trio ! I feel that's all I need to say on the matter ! Really ? You want more ? Sometimes internet folk can be bastards. So yes. This was absolutely cracking. Which is like the biggest god damn shame. Really it is. Andy diggle wrote this one issue and this one issue only. Which is quite the bummer. From what I'm able to take from this issue he really quite got superman. That's slightly somewhat a rear thing this these days. To often to writers cut about calling him sort of nazi. These writers of course were born before the invention of laddnes. Spawn of the moore devil they are. Basically not to be trusted. This issue pretty much had everything you could want. It had clark and lois bantering, super man flying about like super man, lex louthor being the most arrogant bastard on the planet who isn't doctor doom and in a nice touch, GIANT MECHA. Yes if there's any sure fire way to get me to like your comic its stick a bunch of giant robots in it for your hero to paunch the fuck up. Supergirls writers get it. Ill go out on a limb here and say putting giant robots in your comic id the most important factor in comic making. Ayes. Even more important than banter. So ayes. Its a hell of a shame diggle had to leave. Not really sure what his reasons were. But ill miss this superman run that never was.

 

DETECTIVE COMICS # 19

written by john layman and james tynon iv art by jason fabok, andy clarke , henrik jonsson, jasson masters , mikel jannin

Here's the thing. I totally forgot this was a thing. Shame on me. It has to be said. Well ladies and gents. Here it is. Detective comics # 900 ! and it was fine. Not too shabby if you ask me. It could have sucked but amazingly like I say. It was fine. Do you actually care ? That's the real question. Probably not is thing. Cant really say that's a bad thing. Its not the most eventy event comic out there. Despite what it is. Its not a bad comic. Not by any means. I really enjoyed it. That's probably because its just a regular issue of detective comics but with extra flashy bits. And see those flashy bits. Not that flashy. The regular story is quite fun though. But at this point that is to be expected. Laymans detective comics has been generating quite the vibe. Awesome, gritty and more than a tad silly. Its a potent combo. The main plot is the introduction of man bat into the new 52. I think. Most of what I know about man bat comes from the ultra amazing first episode of the 90s batman cartoon and I just assumed man bat existed in this current batmans back story. You know. What with talia all ghuls army of man bats. But what ever. It was quite a nice wee done in one zombie ish plague plot. Oh my god. I almost forgot. We get some wee bits with the bat family. Hoo lee fuck. There such giant irredeemable bastards its almost comical. Fall out from the death of the family stuff. Bastards like. Utter bastards.

Comic book quickies march whenevers

THE SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #5

written by dan slott art by giuseppe camuncoli

Aye. So aye. Aye hi hi ! Big superior spider-man. That slott. Just blasting them out. No complaining likes. I here slight rumblings that it well end soon ish . Which if true is a damn shame. I'm fairly likening big doc ock and yami petes adventures together. Now ayes. Big ocks no aware of pete. Yet. Hopefully when it happens both party's will be cool about it and set out on a buddy cop adventure. This issue was pretty gid. Ock gets a new supporting cast member in the form of a crazy amazingly one piece ish science chef and he deals with massacre. Now ayes. Ock MIGHT have shot him. But I'm guessing because they didn't show the actual death that he's no actually killed him. We shall see though. Time will tell. Dinny ken how to feel if he has killed massacre. That's a step too far. Even if the bastard deserved it. Like the bastard REALLY dossny deserve to live. Aye. Now that's the point of his character. But I dinny know man. Him just killing folk left right and centre just kinda takes a lot of the fun away. Maybe its just me. When you start putting villains in story's that just kill folk it kinda takes some of the magic away. Like aye. The hero probably shid kill him. That just makes the hero less hero ish if you ask me. In super hero comics that is. And aye I know there's plenty of killers in auld spidys rouges gallery. I dinny like to think about it like that though. It spoils a certain amount of buddy copness for me.

IRON MAN #7

witten by kieron gillen art by greg land

Glorious ! Actually glorious ! The had me at iron man in space but then the backed it by actually making it good. It was a little concerning likes. The first five or so issues were classy monster of the week fun. Aye there was an over arching plot but the individual issues were ooo so monster of the week. So moving it to this we bit more ongoing plottyness was slightly concerning. Well not really. But it is marketed as a tie in / aftermath to last years A vs X. which is slightly weird considering we're now onto the next big event. Don't let it put you off though. Its cracking stuff. What's not to love. Everybody's at least a little fond of auld shell head and space its self is way wicked. Rad even. This issue we get big tony stark cutting about space jail dressed as a jedi bantering with his transformer lawyer buddy then shit gets amazing when tony takes to the arena to clear his name with a spot of gladiatorial combat. atualy love comics. Now aye. Greg land is STILL on art duties. Its still fine though. Id go as far to say it even looks a bit gid. Controversial I know. The glossiness just sort of works for this run. Its no bad thing. Also his name is fairly easy to spell. That makes me happy.

 

ALL NEW X MEN #8

written by brian michael bendis art by david marquez

Mmmmmmm. Ayes. Tasty comic right here. Damn likes. We live in a world. With a good x men comic. Now now. Calm doon likes. Calm doon. I troll. I'm sure there are some damn fine x men comics out there. It just was never my bag. I admit that. I'm just no a big x men fan. This though. Hot damn. This is an actual comic. I wasny too hyped when we aww herd big bendis was leavening the avengers and moving to x men. Aye I was aww like ill give it a go. Genuinely wasny expecting to like it. Not enough to continue with it. How god damn amazingly wrong was aye likes. Now one of my esteemed colleague said to me recently this was possible the best of the marvel now stuff. I kinda have to agree. The only thing that could contest it would be iron man. On its best day though. All new x men has been both constantly grate and cranked out at rapid fire pace. canny fault that. Like in no way. This ish mostly focused on angel and kid angel witch is gid. Kid angle seemed a bit fun and it was nice to see him get a bit of time to banter about. Also the avengers made an appearance. inevitable but very nicely done. They had to find out about the original x men being in the present at some point. And yeah. Jean grey is like waaaaaay evil. That's already a thing. For some reason. Cant really explain it or give you any context for it. Its not like she's a super villain. But if she was her actions would make more sense. Maybe scots just made of evil and contact with him turns others evil. Those wacky x men. What are they like !

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK ONE

written by brian michael bendis art by bryan hitch

So this happened. Genuinely wasn't expecting it so soon. It actually stealthed its way up on me. And it was fine. Nothing to flashy and nothing too bad. Well there was one thing but we will get to that in a bit. Aye. So ultron. Meh ? Is he really that big a deal ? I know it dosent really matter. But I duuno man. I like robots. Robots are way cool likes. I'm no knocking robots. And I know ultrons probably kicking about with an army or some super weapon shit but last time he started shite the avengers took him doon in like a arc. I mean. Just look at that cover. Do you believe he just took all those fools ? And FUCKING hawk eye is the last man standing ? I just dinny believe it. God damn hawk eye likes. Its mostly him we follow in this first issue. And I'm fine with that. Really I am. I'm sick to god damn death of hawk eye. But its only the first issue. And's I can take it. Ill complain if he continues to be the focus. So it seams ultron has won and the marvel heroes are cutting about a dark escape from new York future. Cools. Loota room there for fun stuff. This issue really didn't do much with it but really that's what most event number ones are like. Aye so over all it was just fine. Nothing mind blowing though the art was pretty gorgeous from hitch. Lots of wreaked architecture and that. Now see that one big thing that was wrong with it ? That be the last page. Offffft that last page likes. There's not a single thing they could have done that could be more offensive to my sensibility. Right. So get this. Big captain America. The legend of our youth. Is soo broken by the apparent victory of ultron that he has to sit in the corner and cry. Aye pal. FUCK NO. I don't care how badly the heroes lost. I don't care how many people died. I don't care how utterly hopeless the situation is. At no point would captain FUCKING America give up let alone sit in the corner and sulk. It widdny matter if he was the sole surviving human being on the planet. That man would be out there. Fighting the fight ! Did anybody see how he dealt with the last days of fear itself ? Shite looked hopeless then. His shield was broken. Dude just ladded up and carried on. Admittedly he went a little insane but he did so in a lad way. So aye. Little disappointed in you there bendis

 

HAPPY # 4

written by grant morrison art by darick robertson

Ayes. So. Spoilers right. Better run if you dinny wanna here em. Because son. I'm just goona spoil the ending. Ayes so right. Here we go. So happy right. I think happy has a happy ending ! I know right ? How awesome is that. now I say I think it has a happy ending. I could be wrong likes. I could be interpreting it wrong or missing the point of certain bits and the last page in particular. But if I'm right how awesome ! Bloody big morrision likes. He can certainly do the dark stuff all right but most of what iv read from him him has ended well. And now we can maybe even add happy to that list. Cracking stuff likes. Last week I talked about how morrison gets comics. And he totally dose ! Now this issue really shows that off with a big cavalry charge from an army of imaginary friends. I gosh darn love cavalry charges in fiction. Its those big damn heroes moments that really are a huge part of why I like comics and films and that. There those very special moments that get across the purest emotions and joys. So aye. Happy was pretty damn good. Bleak as ALL FUCK. But ultimately well done. And we hope. We really hope. It was a deliberate parody of the work of mark miller. We hope.

GREEN LANTERN # 18

written by geoff johns art by alex sinclare and ardian syaf

Cracking adventures in the death zone ! Goota tell you. That's one happening place like. Seems like every cunt is hanging about there theses days. Trendy ass bastards if you ask me. Well they are dead. So that's goota be a downer I guess Wells I spouse there only kinda dead. Its confusing. Still though. This issue we get the first meeting of simon baz and big hal jordan. It dosny go all that well. Mainly because of sinestro. That big bastard. He went a tad ring mad. Slightly understandable because the universe is in danger. Still not the lad thing to do. Aye so by the end of the comic sinestro and baz are once again in the land of the living but hals still stuck half dead. He gets a weirdly awesome moment ware he considers suicide so he can become a black lantern to escape. Lets see how that plays out. It could get AMAZING. So green lantern likes. Its a whole thing isn't it. Its kinda like DC's biggest thing. Kinda actually is likes. Well aye batman and superman and that. So yeah. Green lanterns like the third big dude in book terms. And has been for ages. That's pretty nifty loikes.

DETECTIVE COMICS #18

written by john layman art by jason fabok

Dinny let that cover fool you. This issue has almost NOTHING to do with the death of damian wayne. Almost comically nothing to do with it really. There's like a page ware big Bruce is at the grave and is aww. Damians deed. Aww wells. Lets go drop in on the penguin. See what he's up to. Now it be aww well and fine if batman was raging. Just dropping fools left and right. But naw. He's incredibly calm. You'd expect him to go brutalize the penguin. But naw. He just beats him doon wea the banter. Good likes. Must be those legendary bat god nerves of steal ! Why shid the bat god care about the fate of lesser beings ! I kid though. Its probably because its a different writer and or damian isn't actually dead. We will have to wait and see really. Gid issue though. Detective comics has this damn interesting vibe going on. Its really quite special when I think about it. Its realistic but fun. Actually its a bit more than that. Its kind of difficult to pin down or to put into words. Basically I like it. And that's just awesome. Its got the penguins patter doon. That's important. The previous run had some bits and bobs with the penguin but honestly they felt a little boring. not so here. The dudes a bastard AND fun. Good combo likes. Its helps that there's a penguin plot going on ware he's losing his shit. Both figuratively and literally. So aye. Good times.

 

GREEN ARROW #18

written by jeff lemire art by andrea sorrentino

REALLY quite likening green arrow. Yes. Yes . This is actually happening. Not to be disparaging towards the character or trying new things. You know. I think its safe to say we're all just set in our ways. Too auld to change or come to a new way of thinking about things. No ? Just me then ? Fair play likes. I'm a pretty static guy. Change to me is a little bit like the devil. Now this issue. This issue was incredibly metal gear. Green arrow go's and gets him self an otacon and stealth's about a office looking for clues. Then during the cliff hanger he seemingly falls to his death while his new otacon shouts arrow ? ARROW !! ?? so ayes. Hella metal gear. Now that's a very good thing. Like evanglion metal gear is a great thing to blot to an existing franchise. The writing and art also combine to make things fantastically 90s. again its one of those thing I find hard to describe. But it feels very 90s. Very late 90s at that. Hella x files ish if you get me. Like if 1998 was a comic. This comic would be closely related to it. Ayes. So amazingly good comic. Id recommend it to pretty much anyone. Aye. Its yin of them bastards.