superbagguy unboxies 2014 legion grimlock !

Have you seen hal jordans hair recently ?

sweet lord 

Look I know nobody cares about green lantern any more but for us madmen incapable of dropping the book its been one hell of a ruff ride. Which is a shame cause it started ok. Ish . For me anyway . Like it was always going to be difficult coming off of big goffs jons run but damn son. Shits been grim. The writers basically set about destroying everything fun about about gl. starting with the base concept of silly syfy space cops cutting about with power bling. There was a whole arc about how using power rings was draining the light reservoir. Because silly fun has to have a cost? Its one of my most hated tropes in fiction . Limiting the use of your gimmicks to seem more mature. Like when warp speed was tarring holes in the universe back in the next gen. Did anything ever come of that ? I hope not. A trip to memory alpha may be needed.

Also all the blue lanterns died . Yes . Even that elephant guy. Cry.

I feel the rest of the cores are down too buy I honestly couldn't recall from memory what there up to. I think the red lanterns became all about moustaches for a bit.

Oh yeah and every green lantern but hal is dead. Even mogo . Again . Hal seemingly killed kiolowog accidentally himself.

Sigh. Well comics are comics and everything will be fine eventually. Everything always snaps back to the status quo or there about's eventually. That said green lantern is the poster boy book for my theory of DCs stratagem of letting everything go to shit after a big writers run. Cause its always going to be a tuff act to follow right ? So why not lean into that. Just ruin everything that made fans love that property before bringing in a new team and righting the ship. I feel bad about saying that. There has been parts of the current run that Iv quite liked. Its just soo ruff to see gl in this state. Under goff it somehow became the red ranger franchise of DC . For a bit . Shaping events like blackest night. Crazy days indeed. The constant death and rebirth of the green lantern corps is a definite thing . Lurching between universe ending events was what it was all about for sure. Its probably a symptom of my compressed memory but to see it dead AGAIN feels too soon. Like it never felt like the corps had time to breath and be space cops. And not a space army. Witch is the dumbest and most angering thing. Stop referring to the gls as an army in your not at all down with the yoof DC YOU marketing DC . Is dumb.

Anyway. Hal jordan is not captain kirk currently. He's a off brand star lord cutting about in a trench coat in a space ship with a passive aggressive A.I not even slinging the ring but instead packing a power glove. Its something new and different at least ? Kinda ? Its super neo 90s anti hero comic in design. Its kinda scary that creators are taking stuff from 90s comics in a serious way . Though I guess its only fair since all of that silver age plundering. Maybe we'll get guy gardener producing guns from his flesh at some point again . Dreams.

Anyway. Have you seen hal jordans hair recently ? Sure it was anti hero long. A little wintery soulgury if you as me. But last issue it went full hair metal ! Id be impressed if I wasn't soo sicked by how far gl has fallen. This issue it went totely out of control ! Its like that kind of weird not actually a mullet but its definitely the kind of hair cut that would hang out with mullets. Our would at least by a mullet a drink if it saw one down and out in a bar somewhere. Its far from the worst thing to come out of this green lantern run we haven't even talked about that whole stretch of time when hal was actively space hitler but I feel its emblematic of the problem of where the books at and how DC feels about it.

floooooowing !

Be better green lantern. Please ? For the old days ?

2014 one year anniversary post ! Baron Weirwulf's Haunted Library no.54

Oft what a year of content loikes. Outstanding. Breathtaking even. Pish. But we're back in the game !

Lets have a wee talk about comic. Not because iv been staggeringly ill and have nothing left to do but because comics are pretty damn neat and need a good talking about.

SLOSH SLOSH CREEEK

Baron Weirwulf's HAUNTED Library ! What a title ! Not only this landowning comic enthusiast a wear wolf his lie berry is also haunted for some reason !

Hella tree house of horror three spooky scary story's horror anthology e em up ! Linked / narrated by this weirdly un-legit ghost lady

Story number ones like a standard evil hitch-hiker story but he's such a cool dude. Looks to be a loop of horror with the pro tags doomed to repete the mistakes of the spooky spectre but for what ever reason the story has a super happy ending ware the hitch-hiker ghost saves the day ! Yaaay ! Well . He's still a ghost. And his family's dead. And the pro tags houses and probably all there posetions have burnt down . In the grim ass 70s. Still there alive tho ! Niffty.

Story twos about the devil or some such. Salem witch trails things going on. Its pretty weakly grim I feel . There's this cursed girl who is cursed and this means she's evil ? But then everyone's evil and then satans about looking a touch like big Dracula. Prolly the weakest of the 3 tales of terror but that sudden devil just rocking up was fairly neat.

Then there's like one page splash of aliens being a things. Apparently there a thing.. far more disco than you'd expect too.

Story number three is the cover story of evil triangular toy clown who like a lot of people I know dosent actual like being outside in the rain . Good on him for working those mittens on the door handle. That was prolly mad locked given he's a evil as shit possessed living doll nightmare . That door sure as hell locked. Concealed lock pick on the spooky mitten ? I assume so. Pretty niffty to the point scary comic story. Some kids cant sleep cause he thinks monsters are in his room . And well. Yup they are. Not to worry though there mad shite and dad soon beats it doon with a bat . Easily defeated evil ! My favourite kind !

Id say have a rake !

Oh ayes . And there's some horrible racist add on the back cover. BOOO ! You gotta take a long hard look at your self 1970s. Ur a mess !

Comic book word talk. The first. January. 2014. part 1 of 1.

Backs.

Comic book quickies then ? Ayes ? Cools.

I'm pretty sure these comics came out this week. But you know. Time. That whole thing. Not really sure how it works any more at the best of times. Then big x-mass hit and I have no idea. Like its Sunday as I sit here and jab my hand sausages on the keyboard to type this outs but it may as well be Tuesday or some shit for all it feels like.

So ayes. Comics. Cracking stuff. Lotta stuff going on in them. I think. Probably. Its been awhile since I did a proper run down of a weeks comics. Stuffs apparently changed man. I was operating under the impression marvel were the hated mad men . Running about naked in some field somewhere killing off beloved cultural icons and replacing them with mad scientists. But of course. I was wrongly wrongers on the most basic of basic fields. Fields of. Like. Reference . Not sure what I'm trying to say any more. Basically folk hate DC and not marvel. Well people prolly hate both. But people are hella hateful hipster fucks. So that's a given. I can kinda sorta see what folk are saying about DC . I can. They seem to have weird relations with there creative teams. And theres been a slew of cancellations. Then there's the out right dickish bat woman affair. Don't care though. Genuinely don't. Iv become something of a DC fan boy over the past few years. Not sure how or why. Probably just find there books more entertaining. Like marvels entertaining ayes. But in that special lunatic way we discussed before.

Comics !

The flash #26

low five ?

written by christos n. gage art by neil googe

Mmm. Good comic. Hella gid comic. Its got all this crazy amazing goodness all up in it. Goodness that I'm trying to explain here. The pages. They had this thing in them. Goodness ! Ill stop now. Well. No. ill still be talking what with this being the first entry. Barry. Allan. Full. Stops. Barry allan is a bloody machine of good times. He turns up. Dose SOMETHING. Anything. normally running but not always. And then things just tend to work out well. He's just the single most solid guy in comics. As iv very likely harped on about here before. Of course I have. There's not been a bad issues of the flash since the reboot. That could well change though. That cracking first run came to an end last month ish. So I had my reservations about this isssue. Those reservations were hella fucked up during the reading process thankfully. Because flash #26 is Barry Allen is the solidest guy ever- the issue. It helps that its just stand alone filler. This like evil pilot woman is aww going about being a thief and a killer and such. But like as a SKY PIRATE. Ayes. Perfect. Job done. Ima going hame. When I got hame I read on. And my word. The whole issue is basically look what the flash can do. Like aye he's super fast yeah. But he's also you know. Basically a god. With the most broken power set in the history of. Of. Of. Em. History ! Barrys cutting about running on CLOUDS. Straight up. Hella just running on clouds. To catch a plane. There's even a wee flash fact box there. Explaining that yes. Barry is basically god. Well worth a read. Not a jumping on on point what with it being stop gap filler so its more a stand alone treat for the senses. Sense ? Vision ? Senses I guess if you also make your own sound effects to go along with the comics. Which I of course. Totally do.

swim in the sky ! fight dah powah !!

aquaman #26

written by jeff parker art by paul pelletier and netho diaz

Ahh duuno. It was like aquaman. Its a comic. It has pages and panels and coulers and like lines and guff. I ain't in no frame of mind to judge the quaintly of anything right now. I'm still crazy buzzen from Dat flash issue. Like damn sons. Its kinda the prefect comic. That iv read. This month. Its a shame likes. Id totally put it high on my list of the best comics of 2014. but I totes wont remember it loikes in December and of course I wont make a best of list. I don't have that amount of dedication or effort in me. Don't be ridicules. Oh ayes. Aquaman. Big aquaman. Cool guy. Kinda gets hella fucked over as we well know. By popular culture and that. I likes him though. He's like. Got a trident. Annnnnnnnnnnnd. Hes a cool guy. Ayes. This issue big Arthur curry fight like a giant squid /kraken /cuthulu/ kanju beasty. Which. Aye. Of course he dose. Its an aquaman comic. Not much to report really. It was pretty dullish. Again. Like not really bigging up aquaman here as I prolly should. Its hard. Iv always said they should have taken the opportunity of the reboot to make the new 52 aquaman basically the same as he is in the brave and the bold cartoon. Big and brash life of the party legend of human being fish man thing. But naws. They went the acknowledging him as a joke route. Which . Ayes. Did work out pretty well for a while there. Mainly what with it being a goff johns book. But the goff lads hella left nows. It looks to be pretty stormy WATERS ahead for the new creative team. Yes. I'm very proud of the thing I just said. What of it.

patty cake ? is that what that hand game thing is called ?

superman unchained #5

written by scott snyder art by jim lee

Not sure if iv reported this here on the auld blog. If I have I'm sorry for repetition . I am truly sorry if there's repetition here. On the auld blog. But we have to talk about it. See lex luthor. The arch Nemesis of the man of steal. Lex lets cut about in green in purple power armour luthor. Lex luthors SUPER into papercraft. Like big lex was using papercraft things to explain shit to super man in issue one or two . Back then it was only like a page or mibby two of lex with like a pop up book style thing that he had obviously made during his time in prison. It was weird then. But like only kinda. It wasn't a big deal then. Like it wasn't charter defining. Then that last issue happened. And yeah. Lex luthor is SUPER into paper craft now. Like has these wee bone tools specially for it SUPER into it. Like his papercraft has articulation SUPER into it. Its kinda the most magical thing. I don't even want lex to be a villain now. I want his entire deal to be paper craft. I want him to just be cutting about the dc world. Being the go to papercraft guy. Teaching classes. training noobs. Sadly as aww fuck. Lex Luther the paper craft king isn't in this issue at all. Aww we get are plot points from the first transformers film/ overtones of the over arching plan of the reapers from mass effect. And superman being superman. Which ayes. I do hella appreciate that. Kinda just wanted an ish of lex carefully folding up his own set of justice league papercaft dolls. Always next ishh. Always have to hauld on the the hope.

I here comic sans upsets folk. Dont particularly get it myself.

randomers #3

glam as fuck.

ultimate comics x-men issue 23

written by brian wood art by carlo barberi

I have no real experience with the mutants and x-men of the ultimate universe. Lets judge them anyway ! I say no real experience. Like I read the very first arc that mark miller wrote. Though that was like over a decade ago now. Though I have read hella ultimate spider-man with kitty pyde in it. Yes I didn't actually learn all that much about ultimate mutant kind from that. But I like to think it counts for something. That said. I also have no actual clue to what's going on in ultimate marvel theses days. The only ultimate book I keep up with is spider-man and that's fairly isolated from the bigger verse. I gather some sort of civil war type dealy happened in America. Not sure how the mutants fit in likes. Now yes I totally just could go look all this up on wiki but randomers is about just blasting threw some comics and seeing how they stand on there own merits. Writing for the trade be dammed.

So you might have gathered from the cover this a storm centric issue. Fair play likes. Don't think iv ever read a solo storm comic in my life. Well. I say solo. Big colossus is cutting about it for the first wee bit. Seems he killed a dude in cold blood. Seams like a dickish move. But the comic dosent give much explanation or context to it so I wont judge him for it. He also seems to be genuinely affected by the murder or at the very least is acting like he's affected by it. So points there. Its a tricky business this judging a charater by a single issue. But storm here seems kind of like a bit of a bad character. Well. To me at least. She seams fairly week willed. I gusse she's still only a teenager ? That really shouldn't be an excuse at this point in the game. At the very least. Its a shock to compare this storm to the proper universes storm. The proper universes yin is kind of your standard strong female character. And fair play to her. Something of a weather god that she is. In this issue ultimate storm just sort of go's with the flow of things. Which. Would be fine. But like it seems like her opinions change basically every other page. Probably not the best thing to compare the two versions at this point but it was something that seemed rather shonky to me.

So it would seam the American government are rounding up mutants and putting them in camps for the crime of being a mutant. Good. Heartless bastard I knows. But mutants are hella dangerous. And I have to Imagen they must have done something to cause this crackdown. And no. I wont give them the benefit of the doubt. Mutants all tend to be utter dicks. Proper universe or not. And yes this is all commentary on terrorism and immigration and Americas reaction to it. That's fine. Or rather that would be fine if mutants didn't rock the deadly combo of being super powered AND being utter dicks. Like. At some point we're going to have to stop calling them mutants and just start calling then villains. Now. Ill give them points. The mutants might not have killed anyone in this particular issue. Maybe if those sentinels were piloted by humans. Maybe. But ill be generous and just Imagen they were only robbits. Humans don't come off any better here. Though that might just have something to do with them being small towner Americans being depicted in media. There some what hickish. And they do sorta turn storm in to the authority's.

We get a page or two of a mutant cure being rolled out. Cools ? Like normally I'm against anything that kills the magic of a given setting. Like in late series star trek the next generation when we learned warp travel was damaging the fabric of the universe. Just. Naw. Pal. Just like. Dinny go near that shite. The mutant cure idea is kind of like that for me. Though at the same time mutants are genuinely dangerous. There just punk ass kids given grate power with no responsibility and on top of that a lot of mutations are hella deformity's or disability's. Like there's a guy in the background here who's like a 1950s B movie blob monster. That cant be fun. Like not all mutants can be as lucky as the mostly glam as fuck x-men. Though I will relent here and say the very idea of a cure for mutants is controversial because of all the persecuted minority's mutants represent in that its not so much a cure for having super powers in that its a cure for who your and what you represent. So in the end Its a pretty good bad idea.

So once again it might not sound like I enjoyed this wee comic. I totes did likes. It was a fast wee read. Readable almost And I bloody loved the the art. A cracking flash back to early 2000s anime inspired art. Magical likes. Weirdly I get the feeling that particular art style still continues to this day in certain corners of x men comics. Cool likes. I didn't know I missed it but this comic made me relies I did. Well played comic. Well played.

Randomers #2

I.CAN.FLY!

 

 

prelude to infinity new avengers 008

written by jonathan hickman art by mike deodato

I don't think I like infinity. I knows. I'm a massive hypocrite. The event has all the things I love. Space heroes cutting about being epic fighting a war to save the universe. And it has big captain America pointing at fools whilst being humanity's representative red ranger. I SHOULD find it magical. But I don't. Shockingly. And there's a few reasons for that. Mainly. I don't think I care any more. About marvel events that is. Well that's unfair. I do still care about marvel continuity. Just not enough to read ALL the books needed to keep up with it. Weirdly since the new 52 iv become much more of a dc man. Marvel since then have went a tad mad. Which I totally respect them for. Only MARVEL would kill off peter parker in the year a new spider-man film came out. Like. There business plan seems to be to troll as many folk as possible. A respectable goal. It just translates into me buying less of there comics for some reason.

 

Another key ingredient in my not likening infintyness wid be my not buying Hickman's avengers. I just didn't want to read them. Like I gave his issue one a chance. Didny like it. I liked that he let the movie avenger team get curb stomped by some punk ass new villain. But at the same time he let the movie team get curb stomped by some punk as new villain. Aye fair play hawk eye and black widow can get to fuck but that team contained the big guns loikes. Big cap. Big thor. Big hulk. They just dropped like punks. I'm well aware it was just set up for the arc and it lead to potential overwhelming epicness on everyone's part. I just didny want to read it. Mibby I was burnt out by bendis avengers. Fuck it. Of course I was burnt out on bendis avengers. Something just didn't sit right with me with Hickman on the book. It was an incredible mistake on my part as I get the feeling his run is needed to understand any amount of infinity.

So there I am. Reading infinity. Understanding every fourth panel or so. Tie ins are necessary it would seem. Normal pish with big events I knows. But more so with infinity in my opinion. like age of ultron was a perfectly fine read without tie ins. It was shite. But at least I could understand it. So I gave this prelude towwdle a try. How to describe it. Stuff happened I guse. I litrully couldn't care about any of it. I really need an answerer to this. Who actually likes the inhumans? Seriously. Is there anybody out there that's happy to see them whenever they pop up. I'm guessing one person. That being Hickman himself. I tolerated the inhuman's presence in his last fantastic 4 run. Because them being the fantastic 4s pals and all that. Though there bits were definitely the low points of that run. Marvels pushing them as this big deal though. I think there actually getting a book. Fuck everything to do with that and to with them and there Shakespeare in space ass pish.

 

I see wakandas going to war with Atlantis. Good ? Namor did like kill wakanda dead during a vs x. so seeing a little bit of reprisal for that is cool. I'm rooting for Atlantis though. Like I genuinely hate dc Atlantis but I'm fairly apathetic to the marvel yin. Plus big skeevey namor earns them hella points. And of course I hate everything to do with the black panther and his mary sue nation. Every time I have to read something about wakanda I'm filled with such mindless hate. Come on wakanda. Why even are you a thing. My mind cant understand it. Ayes I get that its a future tech African nation. Fair play. But why dose anyone care ! Here black panthers aww namor pal. I let my nation invade your nation. Why ? For reasons ! Shity ones !

Doc strange is completely off his shit. Because of the house visitor he gets at the end of this issue. This angers me.

Reid Richards. The greatest evil humanity as ever know is telecommuting with his illuminaty buddy Tony stark. Its aww fine banter. bringing together Tony returning from his space adventures. I mean Tony only got back in this months issue of iron man but its fine. I buy the continuity hiccups. Its really not that big a deal in the grand sachem of things. Reid's telecommuting though. Like. Yes I understand he's the worst human ever and all but why dosent he pop into the future foundation and tell them that he and the F4 are fine. Ayes the FF are basically a joke book but they still think the F4 are missing and probably dead if mad auld johnny storm is to be believed. For fuck sake Reid. Get it together man.

Well that's really all there is to the issue. It sums up were all the “ new” avengers are at . What's going on in there lives. What there motivations are. What they were doing when thanos ranger team rocked up to the planet. As iv said. Most of them were being utter bastards at the time. A fairly quick read that left me surprisingly angry and still as confused about infinity as I was before.

Randomers #1

Righto. I feels like trying something different for a bit. Iv got this giant ass stack of comics iv picked up from car boots over the years and I'm never going to read them if I don't also somehow funnel them into mad hat out put. So here we are. Ill see if can blast threw them. Thought we mad hats do have an odd habit of only doing one part of something but promising the world. Almost none of them are connected to each other and there mostly books for characters I dinny ken any thing about. Were going in blind !

hope runs from youngblood's disease sufferers

 

 

Cable and x force 009

written by frank tieri art by salvador larroca

Cable and x force. More like uncanny avengers. Amaright ? The entirety of this comic is just the uncanny avengers team going to look for hope. Cables daughter not the awesome blue light of green lantern fame. It was ok. I think. As a stand alone issue that I went completely blind into it worked fairly well. Like id probs be pretty pissed if I was buying this monthly and this was all there was to the issue. Though saying that marvel has been hella cranking books out of late. So maybe the wound dosent cut that deep.

So the uncanny avengers are bobbing along looking about for hope. Having the banter. There cool dudes those uncanny avengers. I can totally see why folk could hate them though. Like ayes they can come off as cunts in there own book. Bit shites gotten epicly space Gothic real in there book. So I at least let it slide over there. Here not so much. Like. The main problem with the team is the mutants on it. Because as we've hopefully discussed before. Most mutants and almost all x men are utter bastards. To a man. Its this incredibly marvely thing. That they continue to push mutants as this feared and hated minority whilst simultaneously making mutants act like complete dicks to everyone and every thing in existence.

Hope herself is a bit of a bam here too. Mind controlling what I assume from context to be her foster parents into driving her about. Though to be fair. My only exposure to hope was from a vs x and from messiah complex if that was indeed her as a baby. I don't know. X men continuity. Fuck it. So her actions in this issue could be incredibly in character for her. Its just once again mutant kind dosent come off looking well. So hopes powers are to absorb other powers ? Cools. Kinda makes rouge a bit redundant when hope dosent even have to physically touch a dude to steal his powers. But again x men continuity. Fucked if I know what rouges current or actual deal is. Points to the comic though as hope absorbs the powers of purple girl. Didny ken there was a purple girl. Nice bit of z list usage there.

Oddly captain America is shown in a bad light. Though its just a fillery continuation of his beef with havok. Like. Ayes havok is the leader of the uncanny avengers. Fucked if I know why. Well. Political reasons. To show mutant and man working together and to piss off scott summers. Its just a bit dumb likes. Aye fair play you dinny need cap to lead ALL the avengers teams. But dinny just have him on the roster as an underling to add credibility to your pr stunt. Cause it leads to pish like this. Cap is the living legend leader of men. There's no getting around that. Though. I will say. Havok dose rock a mean gendo ikari turtle neck jacket look back in the main uncanny book. So. Points there.

Its really more of a banter based issue than a fight em up. But there's a little bit of action here and there. Its fairly stupid though. Hope makes cap and havok fight with purple girls powers as you'd expect. Its fairly meh. We didn't learn anything from it we didn't already know. Hopes finisher is using masterminds powers to summon this red skull galactus thing. Its cool ? Mibby ? Its an illusion that cap just one shots like a proper pro. Though it did serve as a reminder for me that the red skull is STILL out there running about with professor X's brain in his head. I mean. Nobody has gotten on this. Nobody has put a stop to the RED SKULL running about the world as one of the most powerful psychics ever. You'd think that be caps singular driving goal right now. But no. he's cutting about on a mutant publicity team checking up on this teenage girl. Because her dad is apparently at the top of the worlds most wanted list. Yeah. Scott summers is out there right now leading a mutant revolution. And folk are worried about what the human fridge cable is up to. ALSO THE RED SKULL IS STILL OUT THERE WITH PROF X'S BRAIN.

So yeah. I liked this issue ! Not enough to actively seek out cable and x force. God no. but I didn't hate what I read and there were cheeky wee bits of choice banter strewn about. Early on there's a gid bit from havok about x men and there constantly changing loyalty's that I had a good chuckle at. Mutants and especially x men being the worst humans to ever live and all that.