Comic book quickies double feature ! Again !

JUSTICE LEAGUE #19

written by geoff johns art by ivan reis

Big batman likes. What a guy. The goff man's running with modern internet teachings that the bats has a plan to take down everyone one. Even members of his team. Which is cracking. Because of course he dose. He is batman after all. Omnigod of creation ! The niffty wee plot of the issue is what if some one stole them plans. Which sadly is a little shite. Seeing as some guy just broke into the batcave. It cheapens the cave I think. Ayes maybe the league and that know about it but that's enough likes. For some guy to rock up to it and take down Jason todd AND Alfred is a little shite. Like the joker couldn't get in but some punk ass JL villain could ? I'm no having that. Though having said that my gut tells me the intruder is bats himself. Because sometimes he's a cunt like that. Aww wells. We'll see likes. Wonder woman thaw. She's quite horrible. Like her and superman just jump into a country and free some hostages putting the justice league in some political hot water. Which really I was fine with. Lest they were saving lives and that. But she genuinely thinks she's a god god. And by that I mean yes she might be an actual god or dimi god or what ever she actually is but she THINKS she's all powerful. That because metas are strong they should rule the earth and do what ever the fuck they want. Its like she forgets that villains exist. Ands that when one pops up she normally gets the shit kicked out of her. And that yes. She could probably take A green lantern. But probably not two. And definitely not the whole human lantern ranger team. To be fair. Superman's a lad about it. Telling her to calm doon. She totes flys off the handle at bats though. Huge mistake there.

SUPERGIRL #19

written by mike johnson art by mahmud asrar

Gotta love it when a solid comics keeps being solid. Once again. Supergirl fights a fool. Basically. Job done guys. Lets all go to the lobby and get ourselves some well earned snacks. Its all good. Life that is. Being alive and reading supergir. You have to admit there's quite a vibe to that. Its that sunny dc continuity vibe. Ayes you could just be reading superman. Fair play. But you were aww like. Naws. Lets give big supergirl a try. Good on you's likes. Its a damn well nifty made comic. Now yes its not going to set the world on fire. But it really dosent need to. Its just a solid wee book ware supergirl fights a fool. This issue we get double the bang for our buck. Two supegirls ! Well supergirl and power girl. Heela cools like. Iv not read much with power girl in it but I do here good things about the character. Also if its going to be a whole buddy cop adventure I'm totes up for that. As you know I'm slightly partial to that whole sub genre there. Its kind basically my soul. We also get some shameless costume damage forcing a costume change this issue for powergirl. That's indeed something all right.

AMETHYST #7

written by christy marx art by marc andreyko

Amethyst number seven should be subtitled the return of the swagger. Because yes sonny jims. The swagger has indeed retuned. It did wobble a bit last issue. Eclipso really felt a bit shit. He sort of gets a better chance to shine here. Cutting about the fantasy world being more fantasy if you get me. Like he's using magic and that. They do a good job of integrating him to the world. Hells, having said that I dinny ken a thing about the first amethyst from back in the day. Maybe eclipso was always a thing. Hmm. Utter shames on me. Apart from that there is still a lot of plot happening. Like if your looking for a comic ware things happen. This is the book for you. Because things indeed happen. Like folk die son. They just die. Important folk. Folk with big things happening. Its interesting. I didn't think they'd kill off the movers and shakers this early. But as we've already established I don't understand the world any more. Its fine. Amethyst is still a damn fine comic well worth reading. Like you there. Eric ! You ! Should read this book !

 

GREEN LANTERN NEW GAURDIANS #19

written by tony bedard art by andres guinaldo

Kyle and the team get there shit together after being mind raped by the first lantern. I really cant get over how amazingly none of the team were taking the first lanterns shite. It really was gurren lagann ish. Perhaps even laddish of them. Damn laddish of the writer to be sure. Now this issue didn't quite live up to the last two. It was if I'm being honest a little bit like filler. You what son. That ok with me. This was filler used to surprisingly good effect. Remember that last issue of actual green lantern ware sinestros home planet got utterly wrecked ? And it felt surprisingly hollow ? Well we get some follow up on that here. We get to see the aftermath and sinestros rage at it. Which is neat. We also get a nice bit of kyle trying to use the white ring to bring back the planet. Which if you ask me is way cool. Kyle IS white lantern after all. He kinda is a wee god right now. It dosent go well yes but at least he gave it a go. So far I am likening this event. Its a lot more fun than the last one, though that may not be all that a hard thing to be. I'm not missing the mad guardians. Yet.

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK SIX

written by brian michael bendis and drawn by folk. Its confusing.

I'm starting to feel it. No. not the actual event. The HATE for the actual event. Its beginning to snake its way threw my body. It feels good. Hate is always wonderful. So like I said before. I couldn't really bring myself to actually hate. Age of ultron. Its a dark dystopian future and all the bleak negative tropes that come with it I cant really complain about. Its just what thee going for. Things get really stupid though. And that too would be fine. Thing is this is the issue ware things start to effect the marvel universe. Kinda. We'll see ware it all gos in the end. But for now. Spoilers I should say. Wolverine has went back in time and killed hank pym. See that son . See aww that. FUCK THAT. That's just about the worst thing iv ever read. If I didn't know better I would have thought it was written by mark fucking miller. Its sick. Its the most modern cut writer of a thing to do. The hell happened to you bendis ? And how did you get over it so amazingly ? Sigh. I just don't know what any thing's about any more. Well. At lest I still ken sue storms a massive bastard. I go as far to say she's the worst human to ever live. Because shes there. She could have easily stopped wolverine. But she didn't. Because I duuno. She just wants humanity to suffer. Its totes her thing these days. Maybe. Just maybe Ill one day eat tho's words. Its difficult to tell ware every thing's heading. This event has been massively pish so far but it might end strongly. And even then It might be a know event seeing as there's another marvel event just wrong the corner. Ahh wells. Always remember what sue storm did here today. Or rather. What she didn't do. And forever hold it against her.

 

IRON MAN #8

written by kieron gillen art by greg land

Offft yes. Have I ever mentioned how I bloody love gillens iron man ? Because DAMN SON its just utterly cracking. It has virtually everything a I want from a good comic. Action AND banter and of course. The most important element. SPACE. Fun space that is. With aliens and robots. And big ass laser beams. God damn love space. Has to be said. Also gladiatorial combat. That's in the mix here too. Big tony stark is fairly good at the auld gladiatorial combat. Ayes it probs happened to him a thousand times before. But I like to think its thanks to those combat lessons from the living legends big captain America. There's plot to be had here as well. The transforming drinks dispenser pulls off a dramatic double cross bringing the mad celestials crashing down on house. Fantastic. I genuinely thought they were dead. Didn't they die at the end of hickmans ff run ? Doom was all up in there grill and I seem to remember something about galatus and his CRAZY wrestling skills. Aw wells. Those mad god lads are always a lot of fun. We don't actually get a fight between them and shell head. But that's fine likes. Them just being there was enough for me. So ayes. You should really give this run ago. So don't be put of by land. His art really works well here. Yes. No fooling.

THE SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #8

written by dan slott art by humberto ramos

ohhh mahhh hgawd. SHIT JUST GOT REAL FOLKS ock is fully aware of yami peter. I expect card game based buddy copping within the month. Its goona rock.. yes it is. Search your feeing internet person. You know it to be true. Are people REALLY still down in superior out there ? Whits rang with you. Its grate stuff. Ayes. Its different. And sometimes a little weird. And ock has gained a touch of the grim dark for some unknown reason. But its fun likes ! And its still as well written as the rest of slots run. This issue was a lot nifftyer than last. Well I thought so at least. Don't know what it was last time. I just wasn't feeling the vibe for some reason. Shame on me. This time though. I was feeling it. It was a lot more continuity er. There was some call backs to tocks plan too cook the world from ends of the earth. Which is nice. Seeing ock confront the fact that ock was all for whipping out humanity in what mas be a few weeks to months ago in in universe time . Ayes they do say it was last year. But hey. That still not all that long ago to be a genocidal mad man. Its all fun's likes. Now some might say that I jumped at the the spoiler reveal a little too early there in the review. And they'd be right. But come on now Ted. We all sort of knew that things would one day work themselves out. And now here we are. Hopefully it will go well for auld yami peter. As iv said many a time before. He's quite the lad.

 

so this JUST became a double feature folks !

MASKS #6

wtitten by chris roberson art by dennis calero

I like zoro. What a lad he is. Just cutting about pulp hero times. Ha ! Cutting about. Sometimes I just crack myself up. This was a fairly ok issue I have to say. Now it didn't knock my socks off or anything. But that's ok. It was fine. Kind of more of a transitional issue. Getting everyone where they need to be. Now if it was my decision I wouldn't have any of that. But fair play. I get why it needs to exist. So like I was saying. Its a neat issue. All told. Lots of nifty wee character moments and interactions. And we get a quick peak at what seems to be the big bad. No complaints really. Every things moving along nicely. Sadly that really dosent give me much to talk about. So ayes. It gets my coveted seal of approval ! Damn quick quickie there.

JUPITER'S LEGACY # 1

written by mark millar art by frank quitely

this was shite. I gave it ago and it was shite. Lets just move on.

BATMAN INC #10

written by grant morrison art by chris burnham

TAKE FLIGHT BAT GOD. Guys. Its happening. The batgods going to war. And I really have to say. Big bats isn't pishing aboot. Like its agaist everything he stands for but wouldn't be surprised if he just dosent kill the fuck out of talia. Like at this point she pretty much deserves it. So batman inc has kinda fallen. Like bruce has disbanded it but dick is carrying it on in secret. Cools. Bruce kind of gets edgy sometimes. I don't want to say he makes bad decisions during times like theses. Because he omnipotent. Being a god and all. Its just you know. Writing and all that jazz. For some reason he man bats up. Which is cool. I'm not really sure why. Dose he need that extra powah ? I just assumed he'd rock up to Wayne tower. Clear it out floor by floor like the beast he is. As man batman he IS piloting a suit of power armour. Now guys. Logic can fuck right off. Because that is awesome. The image of him screaming towards Wayne tower is hella striking. The bat god unleashed indeed. So yeah. Damn fine issue. We're getting to the end of big morrisons run as well. Not sure how to feel . It wont be the same anyway when he's done and gone. That's for sure.

FF #6

written by matt fraction art by joe quinones

READ FF. I'm telling you folks. You should be going out there to your friendly neighbourhood comic shop and buying FF. Why ? For the god damn AMAZING breakfast vibe. Yes. That right. We git a bit where the team just sit about and have breakfast. Yes. I shit you not. Its the most perfect thing iv ever read. The vibe was off the bloody charts. Best two pages of a comic ever you ask ? Hmm. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. In recent years thanks to rebuild of evangleion 2.0. iv come to think of launch as the beast meal of the day. Thanks to this comic I may have to re think that. You know. Some comic do have the power to change how you think. They can reach deep into your brain and change you. FF is definitely one of those books. Its doing very important vibe based work. Oh ayes. There was plot that happened. It was all quite nicely done. Medusa has gone mad ted and abducted bently or some pish and the yancy street gang canny be deaing with ms thing. Its just all that really just gets over shadowed by the breakfast. Like just thinking about it right now. Im not sure how I can go on with my life. I just want to keep relieving those two pages. Those two perfect pages.

 

FANTASTIC FOUR #7

written by matt fraction art by mark bagley

So how much of a colossal bastard is reed Richards like. The answer is utterly. Reed Richards is an utterly colossal bastard. Yes. We already knew that. It seems everything he dose is will dick off someone at some point down the line. Thing is. That's what this entire issue was about. No joke. Maybe I'm missing something but the plot this month seemed to be to make the team as un-likeable as possible. Ayes the things natural lad field protected him from the worst effects but god damn son. The team are transported to the end of the universe by god franklin and then are taken in and help by some nice aliens who've decided to stay and watch the end of time. Fair play to them. There the same dudes that sent blastaar to the big bang last issue. And for some reason. Some MAD reason. Reed takes this as an insult. Ayes the aliens plan isny aww that amazing but reeds aww. That's dumb ! I'm the smartest there is ! U should do my plan ! The aliens are aww naw thanks son its fine. Reed like go's off in a huff and steals the big bad monster. Saying you cant just drop your problems in the past. AND THEM EMEDIATLY DUMPS BLASTAAR IN THE NEGITIVE ZONE. The actual fuck is reed on ? What im I missing here. EVERYONE bar the thing was soo god damn un-likeble. Goosh ! I just don't get it !

UNCANNY AVENGERS #7

written by rick remender art daniel acuna

Yes. I have to say comic. I'm totally feeling the vibe. Its absolutely rocking ! Uncanny avengers isn't the easiest sale. That is to other folk. Most of it is utterly cracking. To me at least. There some wee niggles here and there. Like cap no being the red ranger or the mutants just being bastards because well there mutants and apparently the x gene means your physically incapable of ladness. The whole publicity team angle is a slight bummer too. EVERYTHING ell's though. Its off the gosh darn charts. Plot wise it kinda sort of looks like the mad celestials are going too war with earth. Once I again I genuinely assumed they were dead. Really should check up on that. Well one of them did “die” this issue. Dropped by some apocalypse punk. Cheap ayes. devaluing the whole space god thing. Definitely. Mr sinister did pilot that one celestial like a mech though. So really. Its not something to worry about. S.w.o.r.d. How amazingly shite are they likes. It seams every time they pop up in a book something they own explodes. You'd think some would get on that. Yes. So. Buy this book. Its pretty damn rad.

THE FLASH # 19

written by brian buccellato art by marcio takara

Oooofft. Hold on to your hats sports fans. This was a comic and a half. Let me tell you about big Barry Allan. Humanity's god king was without his powers this issue. The folk over at dial h stole them. Fair play you all say. Barry was in a prison being attacked by mad max villains though. So it was a tad inconvenient for him. Dose humanity's grateist hero let inevitable grizzly death dampen his spirits ? DOSE HE FUCK. Lad just solids snakes up and cuts about the prison being amazing. Arming himself with all the rouges auld gear. Barry flinging boomerangs about is a sight to see. Let me tell you that son. As you might be able to tell I quite enjoyed this issue. It was amazingly solid. Ayes the resolution to the plot was a tad shaky but ill totes forgive it. It was just so nicely written. Lots of fast paced but smart action and some genuine moments of comedy. Its just nice to see a hero who dosent crumble when his powers are taken away from them. Fuck. Barry dosent even gee a shite. He's all. It deal with it later. Lad. This might be the first comic iv read in the new 52 that has cyborg actually being happy. Hell. He's smiling most of time. Guys. He even cracks a joke. Ayes. Absolutely cracking comic. Reverse flash coming next as well. Yay !

ULTIMATE COMICS SPIDER-MAN #22

written by brian michale bendis art by sara pichelli

So massive massive spoilers guys. I guess. With the latenesses all up in here I suppose it dosent matter any more. But miles mum died. I think ? She got like shot in the armpit. I guess fatality ? The fuck is wrong with miles family. Apart from him there like all to a man, made of plastersine. I assume when his dad fines out he'll die of hart brake or some pish. Miles dose seem to be staying with big gankes family though. I do like that. That could possibly generate one hell of a vibe. Building lego all night and that. Though I spose grieving for your tragically dead mother could put a dampener on things. Oh weels. Gotta look on the bright side of things. At least miles has something to drive him on now. And you never know. His mum might get a clone at some point down the line. Worked out well for gwen. And venom was just some guy that worked for roxcon. So ? Good I guess ? At least it wasny big eddie brock going about being mental. But he dose that anyway ? I forget that last thing eddie did in the ultimate verse. Its been I while since I checked up on him. I gotta say. I liked this issue. It was a little sparse for my taste but it did have a big moment for miles. So a guess it all evens out. Fun times !

TEEN TITANS #19

written by scott lobdell art by eddy barrows

So for yet another month on the trot teen titans was once again a mixed bad. Now logicality I should jut say it was terrible. Because it really kinda was. Not offensively bad but not really worth reading either. But I dunno man. There were some parts here and there that I did at least enjoy even tough I cant bring my self to say they were actually good. So trigon just attacks earth. Like on his own. He's just cutting about new York I think on a 3 headed horse. No real build up or anything. He's literally just a big red guy going about toon. And I kind of dug that. And damn son. This trigon is hammy as hell. You'd think a big cosmic devil god wid have less banter. But no. he's making one liners and such. Really he seemed to be doing quite a bad impression of Dr doom. I can sort of here actual teen titans fans screaming right now. So red robin is still possessed or what ever pish is wrong with him. Its somewhat hard to tell the difference. Red not all that nice of a character to begin with and now that he's being almost comedicaly evil. I'm almost tempted to say its an improvement. At least he's a little bit entertaining now. Oh yeah. Like a hundred folk like actually die this issue. Just so causally. And not as you would Imagen because of trigon. Some punk as akira kid is just going about mind crushing fools. At one point a whole gaggle of army folk just drop dead. In a single panel. And the titans are loike. Oh nose ! This will make us look bad ! Fuck off with that that shite comics.

Comic book quickies

SAGA #12

written by brian k. vaughan art by fiona staples

The single best episode of meet the author ever ! Well maybe except for that one issue of animal man with big grant Morrison. Saga there. Just cutting about. Being amazing again. No surprise really. It is saga we're dealing with after all. Its strange. Its only been in my life a short while. But its hard to Imagen comics without saga any more. That's something for me to think about. I here this issue generated some amount of controversy. Don't really see it my self. Last issue was amazingly more explicit. Oh wells. Maybe that's a part of the controversy. Apart from that it just a very bantery issue, like cover to cover banter. Little bit of fighting here and there. But mostly its banter. In lesser hands that could have led to disaster. But of course that's not the case here. There's like a squirely medic / mouse thing and a Cyclops man. Its pretty rad. Has to be said. Damn you saga ! Your just so damn good I don't really have much to talk about. I know I say that about a lot of stuff. But saga likes. It really is that way. Course you already know that. You read comics therefore you read saga. Or do I have that wrong. I have herd rumours of possible spots of resistance. Hmm. Ill have to send the storm troopers to investigate. Stay tuned.

THE STANDARD #2

written by john lees art by john rector

Now this was cracking. I liked this second issue a lot more than the first one. Maybe that's because we got to hang about with auld man standard. Now I liked kid standard. Booster gold that he was, its just that I was sold on auld man super hero cutting about and with this issue we finally got that. And I have to say. It was done pretty well. Like it could have been hateful. It could have been aww auld people are terrible and made fun of them. But no. auld man standard is quite the lad and he's handled with dignity. The wee authors note at the back of the first issue talked about not wanting to be grim dark and that shines threw more here. Auld man standard could have easily been a joke. About how ageing destroys you. About the loss of innocence and all that pish. Amazingly though. Genuinely not the case here. That really makes me happy loikes. Its nice to see ladness spreading from my home land. The art seemed to be upgraded just a little bit. Maybe its just me. But it seemed a little a sharper. Less amiutureishh. Maybe that's a little pretentious for me to say. But this time the art did seam to be improving. I like it ok ! If you fancy a wee bit of indi superhero action the standards your man !

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK #5

written by brian michael bendis art by bryan hitch

So guys. Like still. How can I say this again. Yeah. Still not buying this whole ultron thing. I here terrible terrible things said about it almost non stop. I can totes get that. Its been fairly horrible so far if we're being honest. I really should be one of the people complaining about it. Here's the thing though. It just dosent bother me all that much. Like if this was the actual marvel universe id be actually fuming. But for now its just a wee alternate time line. Now yes. What with the timey whimey developments of this issue and the spoilery covers for upcoming issues there is room for this wee abomination to become very very real. And when that day comes you can be damn sure ill be out there on the streets screaming and weeping. But right now. No matter how much it should offend me. It just dosent. So bendis right. The actual fuck were you on when you were wrighting this. Like I can get going for grim dark ware everyone dies like punks. But come on son. This isn't even good grim dark. I might go as far to call it sloppy. It feels like a bad tv show. Made for the syfy channel. Yes there's spectical but it also feels somewhat cheap. And FUCKING everyone's out of character to some degree. Something that once again would have me rageing. But dosent. So once again. Lets wait and see. Easy dose it. Easy dose it. The marvel lads MIGHT be going some ware with this event. But if they don't. Holy fuck why ?

UNCANNY AVENGERS #6

written by remender art by daniel acuna

BOOOOM oh mah god oh mah gawd ho my actual cracker eating god. This was BLOODY fantastic. Cover to cover a joy to read. A real sight to behold. So its a flash back issue to the days of kid thor. Well young man thor. Lad thor lets call him. I here the main thor book has this time of thors life pretty well down but it was nice to see it presented so AMZINGLY in a avengers book. So lad thors cutting about with the Vikings and that while kang stirs up shite with apocalypse. Its. Magical. Again I cried a little. Partly because I wasn't expecting it to be all that amazing and partly because it was just that god damn solid. Maybe its just a novelty to me. But apocalypse just cutting about in a tavern and beating the shite out of thor is perfect. It probably be my moment of the week. That is if fantastic four wasn't out. More on that bellow. Thor also pulls off one of my all time favourite tropes. The big damn heroes moment. FOR LONDON. The gods have not abandoned us indeed. It just has fucking everything ! I really can say more than that. Also. The art. gorgeous man. I feel like the artist did some issues for bendis late in his avengers run. I was having some flash backs to pink hulk super adaptoid norman ozborn. Not necessarily a bad thing Ill have you know.

 

FANTASTIC FOUR #6

written by matt fraction art by mark bagley

Let us for a moment consider the extreme ladness of ben grimm. The thing. If I was pushed for my top 5 marvel characters. The thing would defiantly be up there. The sheer absolute ladness he generates is the stuff of legend. The saga of ben grimm should be taught to our young. From their earliest days they should be taught about his amazing adventures and his continuing ladness in the face of the universes dickery. Yes he's a monster. A hulking rock man. So fucking what. At no point dose he let that stop him from cutting about. Making scooby doo sandwiches. Watching tv. And pulling off kamina level fuck destiny shite like he dose this issue. Gotta give even more credit to fraction here. You got me you hipster bastard. You really did. All issue the thing is set up for a fall. The recap blurb reminds us he's been having anger problems. Hulking out into lava thing. We open on him fumbling with asprens. But he holds it together. By the end though. Dose he fall ? DOSE HE FUCK. The four are cutting about the big bang. See a guy strapped to a rock floating threw pre existence. The debate helping the guy. Sues aww like what do you think about this ben. But ben. Bens already outside. Gonna help the guy. WE'R THE FANTASTIC FOUR SUZIE PANTS. WE DONT JUST LET NOBODY DIE. THESE ARE THINGS BEN GRIMM SAYS. I really canny stress it enough. This may be my top moment of there year so far. And if you've been following me recently you'll know I think very highly about the quality of current comics. So that's gotta tell you something about this amazing scean. So ayes. You goota read this book !

BATMAN #19

written by scott snyder art by greg capullo

Well likes. This was batman. Being batman. I canny man. I just canny likes. Argue with that I mean. Those of you with long memorys will ken I really hate when batman isn't being batman. Now yes I do go on about the bat god a lot. Maybe too much. That's fine. I can deal with that. But stuff like the first volume of hush. Really gets my goat. When I read a batman comic I want to see batman being batman. Doing batmanny things. Like cutting about gotham. Paunching folk. Driving about in the batmobile. We don't get a hole lot of that here but It gets across that vibe quite nicely. Its bizarrely fresh. Sharp and crisp. That or iv gone quite mad. Its better than last issue. That's possibly what I'm trying to get at here. Ware last issue felt terribly fan ficy this one felt properly batman. There's a bizarre cold open. Yes. Probably clay face related. Or a subversion of clay face related shite. So really its all good in the hood. Or should I say cowl ! Ho ho ho ! I'll be quite now.

SUPERBOY #19

written by scott lobdell art by r.b silva

See this. This might be they single most un laddshishly hateful comic iv ever read. Now. That may be amazingly harsh. And I'm sorry for that. But deer e o me. What the hell guys. Just like. Its hard for me to describe to you. I wouldn't call it conventionally hateful. Its not like anything remarkably annoying happens. Its just all kinds of blughrg. Likes. Likes. likes. I'm trying to focus on the content of the actual issue right now. But I cant. MY MIND WONT LET ME. It dosent want me to remember any of it. Now don't get me wrong. It wasn't bad bad. Just dark agey in its plot. So much irrelevant shit happens. So many justification's and motivations that you meant to take on board but your like. Naw. Fuck that son. So at some point in the future the meta humans go to war with normal humans. Just naw. I'm not having that. That's cunty writing. That's something a writer from the mid 2000s would come up with. Superman wouldn't allow that. And if he's dead then his descendants wouldn't allow that. LADNESS itself wouldn't allow that to happen. So yeah. Don't go out of your way to read this comic because iv made it out to be terribly bad. Its not actually aw that. Its just weirdly offensive to my sensibility's. Sometimes I wonder if I should mellow out more when reading suprerboy. I'm not saying I should turn my brain off. Just look at it from a different angle. Up there I complained about it being dark agey. I like they 90s loikes. From time to time I like 90s comics. Maybe that's what there shooting for with superboy. I dunno man. Sometimes I just don't understand this crazy mixed up world any more.

Comic book quickies

This weeks quickies aren't as late as you think. Thanks to the easter weekend we didn't get comics until Friday. Gosh darn Friday ! Weels. Canny really complain. It certainly adds to the event vibe.

THE SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #7

written by dan slott art by humberto ramos

Hmmm. What happened this issue. Nothing. Well that's a big smelly lie. Things did happen. Important things I'm sure. But vibe wise. Noting really all that crazy. Like big dock ock dosent kill any fools. I don't think anyway. It certainly feels like he just wants to kill every god damn fool in existence. I could be very wrong but was the doc always like that ? Yes he's a villain and a bad man. But is he a mad dog killer ? I dunno man. It just dosent sit right with me. Now to be fair. The avengers do lad up this issue and finely call ock spidy up for his shite. Its about time really. As iv said before. The doc REALLY hasn't been trying to hide the fact he's taken over petes body. Its a wonder its taken this long for even the avengers to notice. And that's ware the issue ends. A cliff hanger for the fight with the avengers. What happened to me man. Im slightly down on this issue. Perhaps I'm slightly fed up of ock spidy already. Is this slott fatigue ? No slotts skills are as killer as ever. It must just be my souls on the blink. So ayes. A slight lull in the cracking ness but don't quote me on that. I may just be going a tiny bit mad.

ALL NEW X MEN #1O

written by brian michael bendis art by stuart immonen

Oooh the contrast likes. Between all new x men and age of ultron that is. See are the core of all new x men it feels right. Like there are a million liitle things that make up its amazingness. But at its core it just feels right. Age of ultron ? Just dosny. I don't know man. Maybe big bendis was in a bad place when he wrote it 2 years ago. Or maybe he was just feeling particularly evil. Who knows. ALL NEW X MEN THOUGH bloody marvels stuff. See that auld mad Cyclops. You can really count on that bastard to really deliver on the crazy. Bam just turns up. Spews insanity on EVERYTHING. Then just assumes people will think hes in the right. Again I goota say. He's the most hateful bastard to ever live and damn entertaining because of it. a little more swagger and a little less crazy and Cyclops could approach kabi levels of arrogant ladness. Bam still wont accept he was responsible for killing prof x despite being entirely responsible for killing prof x. it scares me that there's probably people out there that are on his side. I call theses people anti lads.

 

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK 4

written by brian michael bendis art by bryan hitch

Son. Come here. Take a knee. Right. See age of ultron. See like. The whole entire thing so far ? Yeah. I'm still not buying it. Now let me be clear. When I say not buying it. I mean I don't buy the the actual events of the comic. Not that I don't physically buy a copy of the comic itself. That would be mad. Ted. So everyone's just dieing like punks. Yes that kinda sort of fits the the dystopian tone of what there going for. But come on son. Big she hulk gets wasp stinged to death. Naw loikes. Ulton mooks arny freiza likes. They canny do the death death beam. Its aww just a bit sad really. Folk just diny get to be awesome. Aww in a bid to big up ultron. And like I keep saying. I just don't buy it. Big luke cage died too. Cant make up my mind which death was more disappointing/ insulting. I guess cage would win out seeing as his death happened off panel. Off panel. IN THIS DAY AND AGE. God damn it likes. Now there is justification. That emma frost can read his mind from off panel and he must have been aww charred up from surviving that nukeular blast. Another me would call that niffty. Goota say though. I don't think anyone should die alone. Even if he didn't want to be seen aww broken up and that. At the very least cap shid have went to his side. Fuck. If it works out they themselves don't burrie cage. I might not know how to cope. Aye. So age of ultron. Its like a more depressing flashpoint but without lad commander Thomas Wayne. That might not be that bad a thing to be. It COULD get better. I here it might be going some ware. Lets wait and see shall we.

MASKS # 5

written by chris roberson art by dennis calero

Got to give credit ware credits due loikes. To the writers and that. Basically big zoro is spot on. Every thing I could want from him cutting about. So really no matter what happens in the narrative from here on in I really cant complain about it. Big zoro is a absolute lad. All is right with the world. So much like last time we talking about mask I still really quite dig it. Maybe that's not everyone's experience. It could just be the novelty factor for me. Iv not read that much of dynamites noire output. Well maybe one or two green hornets when the seath rogan film came out. But that's about it really. So its possible masks anint all that fantastic to you's all. Shame if that's true cause god damn. Its quite rocking. Its sort of undersatedly prefect. Like its a fantatic read but its no gonna change the world if you get me. Every things played so straight but with enough of a nod and wink for it to get by. Ayes you could probs throw the age auld too many characters complaint at it. But ken what pal. Its fine. The amount of characters is just fine. And if I might add. Dandy. Bit of a mystery building to. Quite appropriate considering the whole detective hero crew the super lads have put together. Though I do fear that when the big bad is revealed he or she will be somebody that we're meant to know and I wont get the reference. Yes. I still bring shame to my family with my lack of auld comic knowledge I must train harder !

GREEN ARROW #19

written by jeff lemire art by andrea sorrentino

Have I mentioned how amazingly metal gear green arrow is right now. Because damn son. It just amazingly is. Now that in its self is a damn magical thing. Beautiful almost. But green arrow isn't satisfied with just being the most metal gear comic on the shelves, no. no at all. This issue busted out some cutting edge shonnen vibe. Now not necessary the most shonneny tropes but shonnen tropes non the less. What I mean is we get a lot of green arrow being amazingly outclassed by fucking everyone. Like he him self says. He got beat up by a little girl. Hell of a vibe. Really. I'm genuinely surprised to be reading a green arrow comic. I don't think I can get over the sock. Its fallen into the category of comics that I really don't have much to say about because there just so damn well made. Really every single panel in this book is a absolute joy to look at. Well maybe that's a bit much. Maybe it really just is the sheer metal gearness. We do indeed get a triumphant reprise of arrow ? Arrow ? ARROW? Mmm that's sweet likes.

 

GREEN LANTERN #19

written by geoff johns art by ardian syaf and szymon kudranski

Suicide ! Hasny worked ! Yet ! It takes hal the whole god damn issue to jump off that god damn cliff. It was the most modern god damn example of pacing in comics iv ever god damn seen. See when the first thing hal didn't do was jump off the cliff and become a black lantern. I was aww like. Really goff ? Its gooning to be like that is it ? Your going to squeeze in an issue of filler here ? Yes. Yes he did. To be fair. Fillers the wrong thing to call it. Things did indeed happen. Sinestros home planet was destroyed. Like hella causally. I think. The first lanterns aww aboot the reality warping. I just assumed it was alternate future stuff happening. BUT then the dead from that planet started falling into the death zone. Which I assume remains un effected by the first lantern. So I don't know man. Big stuff is happening and that. But it dosent feel like it. The events sort of lack paunch. Its hard to describe really. I guess this must be a bit what an x men fan feels like. Lurching from one event to another. Oh proper x men fans. You mad cunts.

ACTION COMICS # 19

written by andy diggle art by tony s daniel

Diglett dig diglett dig trio trio trio ! I feel that's all I need to say on the matter ! Really ? You want more ? Sometimes internet folk can be bastards. So yes. This was absolutely cracking. Which is like the biggest god damn shame. Really it is. Andy diggle wrote this one issue and this one issue only. Which is quite the bummer. From what I'm able to take from this issue he really quite got superman. That's slightly somewhat a rear thing this these days. To often to writers cut about calling him sort of nazi. These writers of course were born before the invention of laddnes. Spawn of the moore devil they are. Basically not to be trusted. This issue pretty much had everything you could want. It had clark and lois bantering, super man flying about like super man, lex louthor being the most arrogant bastard on the planet who isn't doctor doom and in a nice touch, GIANT MECHA. Yes if there's any sure fire way to get me to like your comic its stick a bunch of giant robots in it for your hero to paunch the fuck up. Supergirls writers get it. Ill go out on a limb here and say putting giant robots in your comic id the most important factor in comic making. Ayes. Even more important than banter. So ayes. Its a hell of a shame diggle had to leave. Not really sure what his reasons were. But ill miss this superman run that never was.

 

DETECTIVE COMICS # 19

written by john layman and james tynon iv art by jason fabok, andy clarke , henrik jonsson, jasson masters , mikel jannin

Here's the thing. I totally forgot this was a thing. Shame on me. It has to be said. Well ladies and gents. Here it is. Detective comics # 900 ! and it was fine. Not too shabby if you ask me. It could have sucked but amazingly like I say. It was fine. Do you actually care ? That's the real question. Probably not is thing. Cant really say that's a bad thing. Its not the most eventy event comic out there. Despite what it is. Its not a bad comic. Not by any means. I really enjoyed it. That's probably because its just a regular issue of detective comics but with extra flashy bits. And see those flashy bits. Not that flashy. The regular story is quite fun though. But at this point that is to be expected. Laymans detective comics has been generating quite the vibe. Awesome, gritty and more than a tad silly. Its a potent combo. The main plot is the introduction of man bat into the new 52. I think. Most of what I know about man bat comes from the ultra amazing first episode of the 90s batman cartoon and I just assumed man bat existed in this current batmans back story. You know. What with talia all ghuls army of man bats. But what ever. It was quite a nice wee done in one zombie ish plague plot. Oh my god. I almost forgot. We get some wee bits with the bat family. Hoo lee fuck. There such giant irredeemable bastards its almost comical. Fall out from the death of the family stuff. Bastards like. Utter bastards.

Comic Book Quickies: Oh god Its April

FF # 5

written by matt fraction art by michael allred

How fun is this run ? Amazingly fun. That's my thoughts on ff. When I talk about it with the lads I'm like did you read ff ? And there like aye. And I'm like. Its still fun like ! The source of that fun comes from its modern age comic wearing the skin of a silver age comic ness. Now there's plenty of books out there that do the silver age vibe quite well. Sometimes though there compromised by the sliver ages oddness. That might sound quite wrong. You'd think you'd be aiming for oddness with a comic that's going for the silver age tone. Well ayes. You are. Sometimes that oddness gets in the way of awesomeness is the thing. And no matter what. That's a terrible thing to be. So thankfully ff avoids that trap quite nicely. Well. It did avoid it. Until this issue. Things got a little too bizarre. No. not too bizarre. Bizarre isn't necessary bad. Things just felt a little unexplained. A little not all together and as polished as previous issues. That's fine though. I'm sure things will be explained down the road at some point. Plot wise. Auld man johnny storm has gone quite mad ted. Fair play to him. He's auld. If I was auld I would probably go quite mad ted too. Medusa though. She's ALSO gone quite mad ted. Only thing is she hasn't got the being auld excuse. Ayes I guess she was a villain back in the day. Again its one of those things that will be explained down the road. It just comes off more than a little wtf at the moment. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not really complaining about things not being fully explained. I know thats no the vibe fractions going for. Its just a wee nit pick is all. Still a damn cracking read. id Possibly recommend it to folk just getting into comics. Its got that classic marvel Kirby swagger with modern writing flash !

AGE OF ULTRON BOOK 3

written by brian michael bendis art by bryan hitch

The sheer still not buying it of ultron. By the way. Seriously. Loikes. Ultron being this big bad romping stomping all conquering robit. Naw likes ? Like fair play. Its an event. You can big up whoever the fuck you want to be your big bad. I understand that. Like I can totes get it. Like maybe one day marvel will big up Howard the duck as the new world conqueror. Its fine. Its just one of those things. They did it last year with the phoenix. Now that fire bird was way bigged up. It shouldn't have been that over powered. Thing is I bought it. The phoenix is cosmicy enough to have room to big it up in that way. Ultron though. I just don't buy it. Fuck knows why actually. I'm all about robots. Robots are way cool. I'm fine with robots cutting about being god level bastards. Super robots are basically my soul. Its just ultron. I just don't believe he could take the ENTIRE marvel universe. Not for a god damn second. Now again to be fair spoilery developments in this issue make it some want debatable if its actually ultron that's been starting shite. So maybe all this wont actually be an issue. Yes. Issue ! This issue was OK ! Kinda ! Well it was really more of the same. Lets me see if I can sum up the vibe of this event so far with a wee moment from this issue. Black panther dies by falling down some stairs. Guy survives the apocalypse. Dies falling down some stairs. Yeah. That's basically age of ultron on a nut shell. Everyone's lost there plot armour. Or more accurately there ongoing universe armour. I get the feeling we're going to see a lot more folk die like punks before this is all over.

UNCANNY AVENGERS #5

written by rick remender art by olivier coipel

Wellity wellity, now here's a thing. Wasny expecting this. Its a new arc ayes. but damn son. Hella first issue vibe right here. I guess we can think of the first arc as the zero arc. And a vs x as the minus one arc. I liked it I really did. Just wasn't expecting it is all. It may make the first trade awkward and or short. Hella sunny issue though. Has to be said. Its nice the creators get that. Wonderman likes. He's still not over his shite. It sad to see really. Back at the end of bendis run he suddenly ladded up and stopped being a bastard. It was rushed and not well explained. You know what. Nobody cared. Ladness is ladness likes. Shidny let logic get in the way of it. Not at all likes. Apart from that almost everything ell's was pretty fine. Plenty of action mixed with nifty banter. And the wasp is on the team ! Yay ! I like the wasp. Mainly because of the avengers cartoon aye and its true the actual wasp can be quite the mental. Never know man. She could be fun here. Maybe. Hopefully.

BATMAN INC #9

written by grant morrison art by chris burnham and jason masters

Here we go ! The bat god UNLEASHED ! MY OH MY. THERE YOU WERE ! Just sitting there. Being a hipster bastard. Likening scott snyders batman. Thinking its the one and only. The boom ! Morrison explodes back on to the scene. Then you remember. He never went away. Your mind has just been clouded by this generations sickness. I pity you I really do. Gid comics likes. Gid comic. While this issue did have plenty of action it really was more a transnational issue. Transitioning from batman finding out demean was dead to batman fully hulking out into the unstoppable bat god. That's fine and dandy likes. Hopefully the next few issues will just be bats soloing the world. All as it should be. David cameroon makes an appearance this issue. Bizarrely. Not really sure how to react to it. What with him being written surprisingly laddishly. Still not really accepting deimans death. It just dosent feel any kind of right to me. Wells. I guess we just have sit about and see how things go. Still. Big batman inc. bloody good comic booking.

AQUAMAN #18

written by geoff johns art by paul pelletier

What's the deal with Atlantis ? Is everyone from there a bastard ? Short answer. yes. Long answer. Yes. Every single atalntian is a bit of a cunt. Even aquaman himself is quite the grumpy bear. Its a real shame. Yeah I still morn the loss of what could have been. With the full retcon of the new 52 we could have had big brave and the bold aquaman cutting about the proper dc u. being a ultra lad. Now aye. That's not a new complaint of mine. Your probably sick of me going on about it by now. Really. I bring it up again because aquaman is now king of Atlantis again. And see Atlantis. Its like waaaay drab. Its meant to be the fantastically amazing undersea kingdom. Its quite shite though. Like its all very drab and un appealing. And all the population are to a man. Cunts. Like everyone is just horrible. Not really sure what the goff is trying to say here. Foreign people are terrible ? Fish men aren't lads ? Don't trust those who ware sea shells are clothes ? That really dosent seem like something big Mr Saturday morning cartoon would normally write about. Genuinely don't know what's up with Atlantis. Its meant to be this big thing. That this mystical city actually exists. But know one cares. Because its shite.

THE FLASH #18

written for brian buccellato art by marcio takara

Big Barry Allan. Big Barry Allan the god king of humanity. Big Barry Allan the god king of humanity IS BEING A BAR TENDER AGAIN. Yes ! This is his second ever shift ! Yass likes. The world is just that little bit better now. Like I'm pretty sure barrys ladness just made the weather better here. Really cracking issue too. Which was a little surprising considering it wasn't written by big francis manapul and instead by the other co writer on the book. Hopefully manapul isny off the book forever. But I dunno guy. I could totes be fine with buccellato deaing a wee run. His banter was quite enjoyable. I'm glad likes. It could be cause for much tears. But its no ! So happy days there. It was a nice wee issue all right. For a moment there I was going to say it was self contained all done in one. But that's a lie. It dose give out that vibe though. Sort of breathery but not really. Ayes its a damn strange beast. Defiantly not complaining though. Its still damn good flash. Really I'm quite happy to be reading the flash. He's just one of them amazingly super heroy super hero's. And this is quite a key point. Not a bastard. Remember that folks. Big Barry Allan isn't a bastard !

 

TEEN TITANS #18

written by scott lobdell art by eddy barrows and rodney buchemi

So. this wasnny all that bad. As much as that pains me to say. Ayes. That's really the core evil of this book. As iv said many a god damn time before. Teen titans is one of those books I should damn well drop. But I cant. Half due to my own madness and half due to it sometimes being pretty rocking. Damn ! Now this issue wasn't that rocking. The horrible thing is. It wasn't all that bad either. Its really quite worrying. So this issue was kinda sorta a requiem issue. Kinda sorta in that lasted about four pages. Basically tim drake is quite the bastard. I think we all knew that likes. Yes maybe there's some sort of devil in him. Somehow he's made me not care in the slightest The rest of the issue wasnny bad though. Nothing utterly hateful happened. I don't think so anyway. Pretty standard stuff really but with just enough banter to keep it going. So ayes. Teen titans. Its fairly all right. Except when it isn't.