Pokémon \n[1]

So, we need to talk about pokemon.

it's getting out of hand. To put it bluntly, they're running out of names.

First, Black and White; the versions have always been named after opposing colors, so this is little surprise.

But in that game, we started to see the formula clearly.

[player] gets [starter] and fights [rival]. But they must face the leader of team [villain] led by the mysterious [N].
 And now, pokemon X and Y are being released. the most lazily named games ever.

Comic book quickies 13.2.13

God damn. Time likes. It just wont stop. Well another week. Time for more comics. Aw right week. Not too packed but the books that were out were of nifty quality.

BATMAN #17

written by scott snyder art by greg capullo

Things are going to get fairly controversial here quite soon. I'm sorry for this in advance. Now I think this last issue of the death in the family arc was a massive let down. After reading it I lost a wee bit of my faith in humanity. As a species we may have lost a good ten or so years because of this issue. I really, really thought we were past this at this point. I thought we were better than this. Its a damn shame likes. This issue in my opinion is the first dud issue of synders run. Well aye the annual had a similar problem in shiteness to be fair. Now put your torches and pitch forks down. Most of the issue was out right cracking. Proper batman being batmanny stuff. Lot a great moments and some fabulous joker banter. The image of bats ayes being broken and STEAMING will probably stay with me for some time. Like pretty much everything the problem lies with the ending. Its amazingly unnecessary. Hatefully unnecessary. Just goona out right spoil it here. Run for the hills if you don't want to here. Basically the bat family no longer trust bruce. FUCK THAT. That's something that would have flew twenty to twenty five years ago. But holly fuck not today. The youth of today will read this comic and be inspired by it. They will think that's the way to write comics. You can see why I think this will set the world back. Batman is a god ok. He's not a cunt. Well he kind of is but not in a bad way The prep time batman may be nothing but an internet joke but that's what batman IS in our harts. He's an amalgamation of all the batmen we've ever watched or read. He's spent the last seventy years becoming a god and while this batman may young that's no excuse for failure like this. This whole arc was about the joker being the voice of people that think batmans better on his own being a grim and gritty bastard. Now I may be horribly wrong here but I'm pretty sure that's meant to be taken as an insult. Batman has a team that he kicks about with. Its a whole part of his history. Gona just deal with it. By making the bat family untrusting in bruce just makes them horribly unlikeible. Its a huge miss step if you ask me. Your basically saying the jokers right and those that believe his view that bats is better off alone is right. Dose snyder actually believe that ? I don't want to believe that. Now aye this is just comics. Nothing really matters on the actual story level. Things will eventually be fine. But like I say I worry for this issues effect on comics to follow and its influence on other writers. Synders batman run is beloved and a lot of people are sure to read it. I thought we were nearing a new era. A new age of comics. A neo modern age. Stuff like slotts run on spider-man and almost all of snyders batman pointed to more ladness in comics. Probably shouldn't jump to conclusions though. Ill see how this disappointing plot line turns out. Its very likely I could be calling it genius by next month.

FANTASTIC FOUR # 4

written by matt fraction art by marck bagley

Sue storm is a terrible human being. We all get that right ? She's just awful. I'm not even sure what it is I dislike about her. She's just so deeply not nice. Its maddening. It may be because her sole charter trait is being a mother. Now being a mother that's also a super hero. That's fairly nifty. Shame she dosent carry it off well. Now being a mother in fiction means that she's totes rocking the trope of a mother will commit genocide to save her children. Now aye. That might be a very true fact of life but come on people ! Lets get past that ok ? Now aye. I don't have any specific examples to throw at sue. But for fock sake guys. That's like basically her. Also I'm pretty sure she slept with namor. I bring this up because this whole issue was about how awesome she is. Now iv read this issue. That's why I'm reviewing it right here. Why is she so awesome ? Read the whole issue. No actual clue. Basically she hot. I think that's what the issue was getting at. Now that I actually think about it. Maybe that's the joke. Maybe everybody's aware of how amazingly un likeable she is and this issues shilling of her was all in jest. Lets hope likes. Reed richards ain't no lad either. He pissies all over the prime directive in quite a spectacular way to declare his un dieing love for sue. If it wasn't messing with the whole culture of a alien race I could totes get behind it. Basically thank fuck the things on the team. His massive ladness keeps them readable.

THE STANDARD # 1

written by john lees art by jonathan rector

Purtty nifty wee indi super hero book. First issue was a little rough but I'm willing to see ware it go's. There's a fair bit o gorn and cynicism in here but its tempered by old fashioned hope. Id say its too early to tell which way it will go but the mission statement by the author at the back gives me hope. I quite like it when the writer of a book gives a wee word about what's going to be happening at the back of the first issue. I spose it just there because that cant have a letters page. Still nifty as fuck to me though. The plots really just ok. There's two heroes called the standard. One who kicked about the golden/ sliver age and the second standard is the firsts side kick whos taken up the mantle. The second standards basically booster gold. A celebrity super. Nothing rang wea that. Nothing too ground braking either. Now I really cant judge ware the book will go. Its looking like it will take shots at grim and gritty tropes but it dose have them same tropes as part of the plot. So like I said. Its hard to tell ware this series will go just on the strength of this first issue.

 

AMERICAS GOT POWERS # 5

written by jonathan ross art by bryan hitch

So still amazingly were now five whole issues in and the hero of the book is STILL a lad. Yes the world and almost every other character in it is AMAZINGLY EVIL. But the hero is STIL a hero. Maybe its just me that's hung up on this. But in this day and age the very fact that the hero isn't even a little bit of a cunt is something to marvel at. In my book at least. a character that previously seemed like a bit of a lad dose seem to go a wee bit power crazy but that is done by having david tenant turn into giant man. Don't know how to feel about that. This books main problem is its loss of momentum. Its a real shame likes. It started so god damn well with that double first issue. Kinda goat board of the whole hunger games / running man plot. Its aww right likes. Its just no tournament arc though. To be fair this issue is more world plot stuff happening. The evil American military decides to just bomb all the super powered teens. Because evil.

KATANA # 1

written by ann nocenti art by alex sanchez

So I gave kantana go this week. Cant say I regret it. In the last year or so I decided to give more comics a try. Number ones that is. Within reason though. I'm no goona actively depress my self by seaking out comics by the dark creators to read. So I picked up this issue and gave it a quick flick threw. Art wasny bad so I gave it a chance. It was a fairly good read. Some parts were slightly hard to follow but that may just be my ignorance of the charter coming into play. What's here though is good action and by the end of it I didn't dislike katana. Id call that a win like. So this book is part of a new line spotlighting the new justices laeuge. It will be interesting to see what that books all about because right now I'm not entirely sure why its happening. Its a weird back and forth comics have. They have a big super hero team gain new obscure members that go on to have interesting story's but eventually they have to put the iconic team together. Its a whole ting.

SUPERBOY #17

written by tom deefalco art by r.b silva

So hell on earth is still going on. Not really complaining just it feels like there's been a hundred issues of it all ready. Cant really complain about that either as iv been missing the superman issues as I only get super girl and super boy. Its not all that bad. Probably unnecessary. Its totes one of them cross overs ware you need to buy comics you don't usely buy. He'll is a bit of a weak villain. He's curb stomping everyone. Not sure how or why. And bloody super girls like actually in love with him. Maybe. Sucks if she actually is. Could turn out well if she's not. A few nifty things have come out of the cross over though. Like batmans hella pimpy fur snow gear and super boy having to ware superman's suite for plot reasons leading supes to cutting about in his action comics causal jeans and S logo t shirt. Iv most likely said before but even though supermans the last hero you should give a causal costume too this one bizarrely works on him. Not actually sure what happened this issue. Aye the plot advanced but there was this silver surfer bug dude and galactus looking guy. I'm pretty sure drugs were involved with the writing of this issue. That or it was intentionally written to appear like it was written on drugs. I liked it !

comic book quickies 8.2.13

Dark days friends. No action comics this week. Offt likes. I don't remember action being late before. I think its come to all of us as a bit of a shock really. It was always a solid week one tittle. Always there for us. Waiting there in the corner with its not quite perfect but occasionally AMAZING-nes. Now its probably the only way this thing could have went but I really don't like that books have lost there place in the four week cycle. Before I could be aww like. Aye. Aquaman. That's a week four book. Or like. Aye. Batman. That's totes a week three book. Fuck knows ware there at now. Cast adrift on a schedule-less sea of madness. Sad really. Well no. it was inevitable. These things happen likes. Delays in making the book and wanting to promote it at different times. Its fine to be fair. inevitable is bad word though. Sickened that I had to use it despite its rightness. Damn fun to say in an agent smith voice though. Bumper week all in all. Despite the grate loss of action that is. eight books in all. Surprisingly no clunkers ether. One of those weeks ware I just read threw everything in a flash. That's always something gid.

 

ALL NEW X MEN # 7

written by brian michael bendis art by david marquez

Big bendis likes. He's still on form. Still knocking it out of the god damn park. I'm STILL buying x men comics. We live in that world now. Shock AND horror. I was never that big x men fan it has to be said. My exposure to them was limited to the 90s cartoon and the films. Now the 90s cartoon was pretty rocking. Instilled in me a life long love of cable. The movies were fun too. The SHEER vibe of x2 likes. Magical almost. Defiantly a true movie of the summer of my youth. The comics though. I duno likes. There's just so damn many of them ! Do people really love the x men this much ? Yeah. They probs do. Not me though. All new x men though. Its probably because its bendis. As we've discussed before id probably follow bendis off a cliff. Its just so lad-ly written likes. Everybody's just so fun and un bastardly. Yet. These are the x men we're talking about after all. They'll probably drop a asteroid full of angst on the earth at some point. For now though all new x men still brings the momentum AND the fun.

 

SAGA #9

written by brian k. vaughan art by fiona staples

Classy indi comic booking at its best. Has to be said. Now there's a long and interesting story to why I'm reviewing this issue late. It involves industrial espionage and ninjas. I assume. The box containing saga went missing on its way to my local. Well that was nether long nor interesting. Hmm. None out of two ain't bad ! Canny beat a good bit of saga. Well mudman can. In my eyes at least. Probably not in the eyes of pretty much everyone ell's in the world. Fair play different tastes and all that. Saga is a class read though. If your a person and sentient. You'll probs love saga. Iv said it before and ill likely say it each time I review saga. If you read it. You'll love it. Not entirely sure why. Probably because its cool. Just plain cool. Cooly cool if you will. This issue is a wee spot light on the will. The caped bounty hunter dude. Seams pretty cool like though we here he's a right bastard. Shames like.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #20

written by brian michael bendis art by sara pichelli

Gotta say. I got pretty much everything I wanted from this issue. A big fight ! Too many comics theses days go for talking and banter instead of the pure glory of combat. Its a damn shame. I'm sure iv made this exact point like a hundred times before so lets move on. Aye so this issue milles gets into his first tussle with venom. Or a venom. Symbiont's in the ultimate verse are weird. There was that one in ultimates 3 that was like a doom bot or something. Dooms a cool guy no matter the universes like. Any way's miles's first fight with the inky nightmare go's relatively well. Aye well miles dad might be dead/ dyeing. So like I say. Relatively well. Miles dad ain't really that cool of a guy. Bit of a punk really. Bit of a buzz kill if you ask me. Now I'm not wishing death on the poor fella. Just saying he could stand to be a tad more interesting. Like who the fuck takes being awesome and makes it out to be a bad thing ? Miles's dad that's who. I'm sure its commentary on parenting attitudes or some shite. Its just not for me thank you very much. Venom though. Gotta love venom. He so fighty. sept when he isn't. But he is here ! I think we can chalk this issue up as a win pals.

IRON MAN #6

written kieron gillen art by greg land

Aye so Tony stark is cutting about space now and this comic is pretty much everything you'd want from Tony stark cutting about space. He gets into a space battle AND then try's to bed a space princes. He invokes star trek while doing it too. What a lad. What a SPACE lad. Its took a long while likes but were finally here. Finally here at the final frontier ! Yas ! Knocked that out of the park likes. Ayes so stark left fer space in the last issue of the last run. But he didn't because marvel now. But he's out there now. Being the most starky he can be. Good on him. Iron man in space could be very fun. And indeed this comic was fun. That's all I can really say to back up this run. Its fun. What more do you want from a comic ? Aye greg lands still doing the art. Its probably shite. Don't personally care really. Its fine for suit stuff and other assorted robot junk. Yes his space woman are just as porny clone-ish as his earth woman. That's funny likes. Deaths head makes appearances in the issue for like a single panel. That's something all right. Don't really ken ware all this space stuff is going but I hope it keeps up this issues levels of fun.

SUPER DINOSAUR # 17

written by robert kirkman art by jason howard

Oh super dinosaur. You wee super amazing Saturday morning cartoon. What are ya like. Astoundingly braw is what ya are. Cause that's what super dinosaur is. A Saturday morning cartoon. But like from the 90s. In vain of street shark or the biker mice from mars. Mainly street sharks. DAMN that was a show. Back at this issue we've got poop jokes. Poop joke every ware ! A little rude ! Still very kid friendly is the thing. Oh and action packed. Canny forget that. So not only is there an inner earth there's also an inner moon too. Populated by bug people. Who eat poo. Fucking love comics. Like.

MUDMAN #6

written and art by paul grist

Oh fuck yes. Yaaaaaaas. Its back ! Its back in the game ! Big mudman descending from the heavens on wings of excellentness and .... mud. Aye I foooooooking love mudman. Might just be my favour comic. Thinking about it I most likely say that a bout a lot of comics. So mudman is like the all time champ out of all of them. Mudman and one piece. Thems the two buddy cops of greatness. A lot of mudmaans fantastic un defeatble amazing greatness comes from the Britishness of the book. Not gona lie guys. Morrison's the supermarket makes an appearance this issue. Humanity just got better people. FUCK depression. FUCK recession. Mudmans making it all better. Morrison's is in the god damn GAME. That's another thing. Mudmans sort of fearless in its references. Like its not some off brand Morrison's. Its actual Morrison's. Also music from the cure appears, and its awesome. Gona buy mudman likes. To me its utterly perfect so to you it but be at least passable. Worth a pick up if you ask me. As a balancer I should say that mudman the character was a little whiny ish this week. Not all out unbearable whiny just a little teenage asgnsty. Its possible that's a bad trope necessary for cultivating the teenage super hero vibe that mudman dose so well. Reminds me of ultimate peter parker a little bit. Least we forget despite his utter ladness ultimate pete could be a complete bastard from time to time. Teenagers like.

 

SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #3

written by dan slott art by ryan stegman

Right. Deep breaths pals. You might actually want to sit down for this. Superior is still perfectly fine. I know ! SHOCKING to here isn't it ? Man this is something I think your going to have to learn to cope with. A comic that has a history of being fine. CONTINUING to be fine. Aye its scary stuff that consistency is. But your all big boy and girl comic readers now. I think you can handle it. Now I may be being to overly optimistic but I have faith in you guys likes. Its ock spidy vs the vulture this ish. Vultures a bit of a weird bastard all said. Using wee kids as mooks. Sets ock off rageing as it makes him flash back to when he was beaten as a kid. You feel bad for the bastard I guess. Its hard though. Ocks dad was the one beating him and yes beating your kids is very wrong BUT I cant stress enough just the sheer size, density and funcktasticness of papa ocks mustache. I could totes take a solo comic for that facial hair. Its that rocking. Yami peater parker is still a treat to behold. He's not in it as much as last issue but the ghost buddy cop vibe is still there in full force. Fuck yeh buddy cops !

DETECTIVE COMICS #17

written by john layman art by jason fabok

Damns. Almost missed this off here. Don't really no what happened. Almost went with out creating an entry for detective comics. Thought I did. Looks like it disappeared actually. I blame ghosts. About the actual comic though. I'm really quite loving this run. Its well written and has good art. BOOM review done. I'm out o here. Well I'm back. Ill say more on detective. Its cold out there likes. Aye so detective comics is a wee bit of an under dog. Going a wee bit un-noticed in my neck of the woods. Two reasons for that. The first run of the reboot was a wee bit shite. I don't think many people will mind me saying that. I liked it. It was grungy and a tad mad. Good combo if you ask me. It just wasny all that amazing. The second thing that keeps this detective run down is batman. No not the character. That be mad actually. Batman ruins book about batman. There's a head line for bizzaro world likes. Naw I'm talking about the main batman book. Its un godly good. Like just a damn proper read. If your going to buy one bat book your going to buy batman. And that's fine. You shidny have to buy a thousand different books for the same character even if that characters as legendary as batman is. This detective run though. Its damn decent. I Definitely say its worth a read. Aye its not as good as batman and it may be a tad silly in places for some peoples tastes but I do quite like it. Its got a good vibe going for it. The story a bit gritty but off putting and the arts detailed but actiony. Aye. What I'm trying to say is. Gee this run a go. You probably most likely wont regret it. Blame ghost if you do. Not me. Definitely don't blame me.