Bagguy vs the man of steel

Superman wins obviously.

Wellzers. Fashionably late to the party as always. But the man of steel did indeed hit cinemas at some point in the immediate past. Never has a community stood so divided as the geek community dose today. Wells. That's grossly over egging it. The split is really between comic book fans and the hated normals and between actual fans of superman and folk that could just take or leave the big boy scout. Id like to say up front that I did enjoy man of steal. I thought it was ok. And at points it was even quite fun. However. This was not the film big supes deserved.

Now before we get in the negatives there is a fair bit to like about the film. There's HELLA action for one thing. Now. A lot of folk would say that's a bad thing. And ayes it is at certain bits but we'll get to that later. Come on now folk. You need lots and lots of ACTION in a superman film. Like. Come on now. Its good they went all action. You get to see supes DO stuff. With a big budget. And for the most part it is awesome. You can call it dumb if you like but I like that they just went all out with the fighting and the physical god level craziness.

I quite liked the bits where superman wasn't superman yet. Now put away your torches and pitch forks and let me explain. Superman not being superman can get quite hateful. It was a risk they were always going to run what with it being yet another origin film but they pulled it off quite nicely if you ask me. From the trailers it looked like we would be getting quite a bit of fisherman supes which I think you'll agree looked quite hatefully hipster. But as it turned out the fisherman shtic was only a vehicle to get supes to an oil rig to do some life saving. See it COULD have been hateful but it turned out fine.

There was a fair chunk at the beginning of the film that took place entirely on krypton. I here that as base brakery as the film is this part was well received. I put that down to jor els general pimpness and the fact he rides a dragon at one point. I mean, I really wasn't prepared for the dragon. I should have been. What with that one issue of supergirl ware she rides a dragon. So I should have been aware kyrptonian dragons were a thing. I just wasn't expecting to see it in the real big deal synder/nolan superman reboot is all. And oh my it was awesome. Im not really a big dragon man. Its just the sheer absurd surprise of it the thing.

Jor el himself was quite the lad. Like he manages to CQC the fuck out of general zod. General zod. Krypton's legendary soldier. Defeated by a sqwisihe scientist. In hand to hand combat. Well. I guess you get points for being supermans dad. And fair play he is killed by zod eventually. Now here's where the ladness comes in. jor el dose indeed kick the bucket in the opening act but comes back. As YAMI jor el. If you've followed any of our coverage of superior spider-man you'll know about our unending love fer yami pete. God king of the banter. Now yami jor el dose get some choice bits of banter here and there but he mainly utilises his yami ness to cut about. I amazingly approve of this.

Superman him sell came off quite well as a character I think. Well for the most part. Folk just never seem to shut the shit up about superman being a terrible character to write for. That because he's such a god he's unrelatable. These people are actual bastards. Supes is a grate dude. And ayes he's powerful. Juggling planets and all that. Power dose not make you unrelatable or just a bad character because of it. There are countless actual gods cutting about comics that folk love. Its a trendy double standard to hate on superman. Because he's apparently cheesy or childish. That said iv seen some encouraging things from other folks reviews about man of steal that seem to show the myth that its impossible to do a good superman story is somewhat vanishing. Good stuff !

Man of steel had a darn solid cast all right. Your mileage may vary on if that cast was put to good use though. I herd claims of blandness. I don't see it. But that might just be my own good actor blindness. I tend to see. If a like a particular actor in a particular role ill probs be hella forgiving on the actual acting. That said. Do do think everyone was doing a fairly good job with what the script was giving them. I thought henry cavill did a nice job as superman. Like in the scenes ware he was properly being superman I think he had it locked down. Being so superior to humans superman walks a very dangerous line of smarmyness that's sometimes tricky to pull off. Like you need a wee touch of smarm for the flashiness of the character.

Zod was an all right villain too. I say all right. At the end of the day he was quite shite. I'm not sure he won a single fight. Even like I was saying he lost to jor el. Its a little weird. He is built up as kyriptons greatest warrior so for him to lose AWW the time is quite weird. Though I guess he IS a general so I suppose he's not meant to be the absolute best fighty fighter. I did like him and his gang though. They were quite funky with there power amour and eventful superman sun powers. Supes fights with them we're amazingly dragon ball z. though I suppose that's the only way they could go in this day and age. Its not a bad thing. Even though I'm kinda making it sound like one.

Now with al that said. Man of steel dose have some amazingly hateful unforgivable moments.

Pa kent. Pa kent why. Oh god. Why. What have you done ? You monsters. You actual monsters. Pa kent in the man of steal verse is just. I don't even know what. Like I don't quite comprehend why they made him the way he is. I don't even what to try because he was so hateful. I should actually say what my beef with him was. He's not a lad. Not at all. Pa kent is supermans dad. He's meant to give superman that un shakeable moral compass. He's meant to inspire clark to be more than an ordinary man. Superman may be a god. But he gets what makes him a legend from humanity. From the upbringing the kents gave him. And in this film I don't think I'm far off the mark in calling there pa kent a monster. There's a bit in the trailer where pa kent is conserned that kid clark saved a school bus full of children from drowning. Including all his fiends and bullies. Kid clark asks if he should have let them drown. Pa kent reply's maybe. That is unforgivable. Now I get pa kent wanted to keep his son safe and feared that if the world knew about him they'd probably take clark away and dissect him. Fuck that. Kid clark can lift a bus from a lake on his lonesome. He can take who ever rocks up to the farm looking for him. Now. I can buy that pa kent wants his son safe at any cost. I can. But any other pa kent wid be disgusted at this universe one. Pa kent teaches supes to save as many people as he can BECAUSE he can. Its like pa kents whole deal.

As cool as the final fight in the film was. As much as it averted short lame boss fights at the end of current gen super hero movies and movies in general. It was amazingly stupid. Thousands if not hundreds of thousands of innocent people MUST have died. Metropolis is now just a crater. It be one thing if was just because of zod and the villains and that it was unavoidable. But no. a lot of the damage could have been stopped by superman and some case's it was superman actively causing the damage. Yes you read that right. The last fight of the film is between superman and a fully powered up zod battling in a darn crowded metropolis. They basically go at it like like neo and smith from the last battle of the matrix revolutions. That was fine there because everyone in the matrix was a smith so the collateral damage was lessened and it was somewhat an end of the world scenario. Here. Supes dosent seem to give one single fuck for the people of metropolis. Flinging zod threw buildings and flinging stuff at zod that either impacts around him causing damage to the surrounding area or explodes. EXPLODES. Now I feel the hatefulness might be lessoned if it was just two other random super beings. But this is superman. He would sure as fuck care about the people of the city. Caring about people is what superman dose. SAVEING people is what superman dose. Yes. He'd still be fighting zod but the entire time he'd be thinking about ways of getting zod away from civilians and he'd be saving folk from the buildings zod was collapsing and not actively trying to collapse buildings himself.

Now. We've all trecked threw spoiler country. I should have probably started of by saying that there would indeed be spoilers. But its a fair few weeks after the films release and I feel its common knowledge now. But fair play. I have encountered a fair few folk that have decided to wait for the dvd because of its mixed reviews by actual critics. so for the last bit here. Major ending spoilers.

Man of steel reaches its climax with supes having zod in a head lock in ruins of metropolis. Superman has proven that bizarrely he is the better fighter. Zods no looking well. He's lost his mind just a touch. Well. I suppose he wasn't always there. But my point is. He's gone full mental. It looks like it all over but zod bust out his eye beams on this family that just happens to be standing around. Slowly. Like really slowly. The family could just run away. But naw. There only very slightly trapped. They COULD just walk around the eye beams. But naw. They don't. Like the massive twats they are. Well. my point is. Superman is forced to kill zod. He just snaps his neck. With a crack of thunder. Now to tell the truth. Superman killing dosent bother me as much as it should. I'm not to sure why. It just didn't shock me. I feel like superman has killed folk in the past. What is was though was a massive downer. Like in the cinema we saw it in. the kill just sucked all the fun out of the room. You could totes feel it leave. It was quite the moment. Now I don't want to bleather on about the rights and wrongs of superman just killing fools but its certainly one of the things that has divided folk. I can totes get that. I SHOULD be agreeing with them. Its probably the worst thing ever. But I dunno. Its just something that happened.

So. I quite liked it overall. It man of steel is an all right film spoiled by a few bizarre narrative choices. Though I would say it worth a watch. But maybe only on dvd when it comes out. Which isn't something I want to say about a big new superman film.

Why bagguy didn't like the avengers film

I used to have some strong and controversial opinions about the avengers film. As the years passed I mellowed out and I no longer hold most of theses views. The following review has been declassified from the mad hats black list.

It seams the avengers film was the defining event of our youth. I'm sure people don't think its the best film ever made but they probably think its the beast super hero film and possibly the most laddish. they of course use the term laddish AMAZINGLY wrongly. Lad used in the auld dark way. Lad like bloke if you will.

So there I was genially hyped for the film. How couldn't I be. It was a team super hero film that had the actual actors from the highly successful and well liked marvel films. This was something that was on the horizon since 2008s highly cracking iron man. It had geek god joss whedon as director. Every base was covered. It couldn't possibly suck.

But I didn't like it.

Yes there probably is something wrong with me. I get that. There is probably many things really. Basically I'm just being that guy. The thing is. I'm aware of it. I was aware of it DURING the film. It started and probably not 5 minutes in I knew I didn't like it. I just didn't like it. Its hard to logically explain why but ill try to at least give it a go.

Hypes probably a factor. I do tend to hype things up quite a bit. To the point ware life dose tend to feel quite hollow. I don't think you could not hype avengers. It was fucking avengers. Like how do you even describe what that kind of film meant to this generation. OOO. I know. Avengers is like new 10s space jam. Its like an event film ware all your favourite child hood icons team up to fight a threat but like on the big screen. So it was modern age space jam and I didn't like it. Just take that in. its the modern age bit that probably ruins it. The modern age is discusstingly horrible. That thing about each generation being less than the last is so perfectly true. Yes I'm an auld man. Deeply cynical . But jamsus fuck. Its like being the only sane man on the planet when you see the pish the kids of today come out with.

 

I don't like joss wheadon. Yes. Come at me. If I cared more id probs say I hated him. Now fair play. Quite a bit of firefly is damn gid. There's also quite a bit of it that's not laddish in the slightest. And I feel he's slightly defensive about its cowboy bebop/ outlaw start influences. That might be highly untrue but its the feeling I get from him. Never watched buffy. Just never appealed to me. Apart from that I ken fuck all what he's done. The script for titan a.e ? fair play that's laddish. But mainly for vibe reasons. Whedon thaw. He's not a lad. That would be fine. But what irks me is people THINK he's a lad. He's kind of cunnty likes. He killed wash. That's really just unforgivable. He's basically just all about the emotional baiting. So him being the director of avengers is definitely a negative for me.

 

I didn't like the plot of avengers. It sucked ass. Again. I probably think that because of the hype. Like I'm not sure what I really wanted from the film. But I feel what we got was pretty hollow. Like its not all the memorable to me. Maybe I was expecting some gern defining moment of amazingness. Like just wall to wall awesomeness. I don't think we even got close to that is the thing like there were bits of the film ware it wasn't awesome. Like there were bits ware talking happened. Set up and exposition. I don't think I was expecting that. Also im probably been spoiled buy actual avengers comics. Ware shite normally gets god puanchinly fantastic.

I wasny too blown away with the characters. Ayes that's sort of mad to say what with me enjoying there individual films. Its just. I dunno. I'm note sure I remember a single line from the film. Not off the top of my head or anything. Ayes probably if pressed. But nothing really stands out. Fuck hawk eye and the black widow though. You do not do the metal gear vibe any kind of justice. I don't think they got captain Americas legendary hero ness down. Like the captain America film didn't either but that was fine because that was set in the 40s when he was still just a man and we still had the avengers to come for them to work on it. But caps just cutting around the 21^st century with no fuss. Yes they sort of tried with the scean in Germany but again it rang hollow for me. It just didn't get cap. I get this is just my nit pick but I really didn't like the hulk. He was bloke ish. He appealed to blokes. Its mad yes but his widely worshipped wrecking of loki makes me shiver. I REALLY do not like any kind of back ingerry. Yes I know it was loki and its fine cause he's a god. But the hulk could do that to anyone. Yes I know that's not a legitimate complaint but that's what I feel about it. Loki was a actual punk. He acted like a guy. Like a mere mortal. They fuck ? Ayes he's just a space god but come on people. Its like they weren't even trying.

Now I think at this point I like bad films better than good films. I blame reviews. When a good film is good. That's fine. But there's not really much to talk about. When a bad films bad its AMAZING ! So much to talk about so much to remember ! It becomes iconic. Basically a bad films more meme worthy. So its possibly I don't know how to watch a good film any more. Though that really cant be true. I still like other “good” films. Like I find bad films far more enjoyable than good films. A bad film is probs more funny than a good comedy. That's probably saying something about the modern age there

I not quite sure ware this hate of mine comes from. I'm not willing to give avengers anything. I have no time for it. Its a bad film to me but not in the same way the bad films I was talking about above. Its not a good film. Its a bad bad film. Like I'm not having fun not likening it. And I don't even want to not like it. But I do.

Like I was saying. I'm probs just that guy. Not likening something because its popular. I don't want to be that guy. I kinda am though. I genuinely hate the young folk. As we've covered. There just so imperfect. Like we auld bastards are GODs in comparison to them. And when they go on about there perfect film it sickens me. Its possible I want the most absurdly continuity heavy impenetrable film that the maasies will hate so I can love it. Sorry's likes.

So basically. I thought the avengers was shite.

Hideo kojima and the soldiers of hayte

hideo kojima and the soldiers of hayte

 

There has been a single overriding topic that has consumed my mind in recent months. Let me ramble on about it here. Of course. Like most things I say. Don't consider what I say here to be anything close to actul facts. Its all for the best.

 

Only kojima could make me NOT hyped for metal gear solid 5. no matter what you say about the man. No matter what I go on to say about him here. You cant deny. He is a master troll. To be fair. Hes continuing to do his job. He hates us fans.

What I'm bleathering about is david hayter not returning to voice big boss for ground zeros or the phantom pain. Just goona say this up front. I don't believe this is true. Call me delusional if you want. Its fine. But this is just too kojima a development for it not to be trolling. Here me out loikes.

David hayter IS the voice of snake. I mean. He just is. FUCK IT. David hayter IS snake. Replacing him is just unthinkable to me. It disturbs me that other folk think its no big deal. I just thought we didn't take shite like that. Now. Don't get me wrong. There is president for hayter to not voice big boss. He didn't in mgs4. That's fine likes. Bigg boss was auld then and hayter was cutting about as solid snake. So it is fine for hayter not not voice big boss eventually. One day. Years from now. When we're all very dead.

 

However it seems ground zeros takes place soon after peace walker. So I think you'll agree its weird for big boss's voice to so suddenly change. Now. Maybe there's room there for hayter to voice big boss during ground zeros but not in mgs5. I could by that big boss was effected by his coma and the years spent in it. Basically. Like most sane folk . I want hayter in mgs5 in some fashion.

And there's hella room for him to be in it. So much room that I feel this is something worth talking about. I think the general feeling is that the time line is getting to the point where by mgs5 we could be seeing kid solid snake cutting about. So it entirely possible that hayter will be voicing him and not big boss. That's the main hope I cling to. Its what keeps me sane. There's a wee problem with that theory in that kid solid would only be about 10 years auld at the time game is meant to start and I don't think the legendary gravel growler snake voice of hayters wid work on a pre teen. Though. I'm gona call it now and say that mgs5 MAY take place over several years. Allowing for popper snake action.

Kiefer sutherland. The actual fuck. So you replace hayter with someone new. But its just some actor. Its not even like you replace hayter with another voice actor. You get a famous guy. Like. You COULD have got steve blum. That would have lessened the pain. But no. even if kojima wanted a famous actor to voice snake he could have got kurt russell. You know. SNAKE PLISSKEN. For fuck sake. I'm sure kojima could have just given him all the money to do it.

Meta wise. Its not like we haven't been here before. Snake has continually been replaced as the player character in the actual games starting with mgs2. Everyone was hyped as fuck to play as the legendary solider in the next gen graphics of the ps2. What we got was raiden. I like radien. He's a true bro. But ayes. That was kojimas master work of trolling. In mgs3 we play as big boss for the fist time. Who is A snake. But not OUR snake. Again. True bro though. We had to wait until mgs4 where we once again got to play as our hero. And he was an auld man. See what I'm getting at ? The replacing of hayter is just another aspect of playing as not snake. This time its a little bit more personal. It cuts hella deeper.

This is all just delusional fan boying. Ayes. But we all know something WILL happening mgs5. Something will happen and then it wont stop happening. There HAS to be some sort of twist. Mad meta plots and cardboard box shenanigans. Its metal gear solid after all. It dose seem big boss is going by punished snake for 5. that seems some what significant to me. Its entirely possible that who we believe to be big boss isn't. That it may be another clone. All the sons of big boss other than solid we're voiced by other folk after all. Though I will admit this seems a little unlikely after recent trailers. Though. We shid NEVER trust metal gear trailers.

There are things that can be said against hayter of course. I here grumblings that doing the snake voice hurts him. But come on now folks. I feel we can be fairly confident in saying that the man would do the voice until it killed him. Folk are also on about the voice being degraded . Being a parody of itself now. I cant even process that. Like. WHO are these people ? what is wrong with there blazing souls ? The snake voice is quite huge part of the fun of any metal gear game. For me at least. A large part of the games is codec conversations after all. And yes. It may not be exactly the same as in the ps1 days. But big boss IS ageing after all.

 

Well. At the end of the day. It may just be real life shiting all over the dream. It may just be ugly personal real life stuff getting in the way of awesomeness. The thing is I hold kojima to a higher standard. The man made a game about memes in 2001 for fuck sake. He's clearly a god. Or maybe. Was a god. Still. I cling to the hope that all will be well. That its all just a funny jokey joke. That come release day everything will be set back the way it should be. That we'll all be sitting by roaring fire toasting auld kojimas genius.

We shall see.

Back up banter

Time just keeps on slipping. INTO THE FUTURE. Ayes. Ayes. Mistakes were made. Again. And id like to apologise. Again.

 

Its been like a month. Long time to you young uns. I'm sure. To us auld folk its hardly been a single blink of an aye. Time gets weird.

 

Wells a fair few things have happened in the comic world since we last had a wee chat. I'm going to try and go threw them from memory. So If I make a few things up you have been warned.

 

Green lantern ended ! Wells not really. Its still ongoing and so are the other lantern books. Big goff has stepped down from writing duties. And well. Its over. He packed his bags and took the zeitgeist with him. That and it really did feel like the last ever issue. There was hella universe shite that happed. The guardians are dead. Well mostly. And big sinestros away for a universally road trip. As well as that there was epilogues for all the main lanterns. We've now seen hal grow auld and have a happy ending. It was hella final. But that's fine. Big goff earned the right to do what ever the fuck he wanted to do with the book.

 

Also. Did I mention that it was FUCKING AMAZING. It MAY be the single best issue of GL I have ever read. Now that's probs the excitement talking. But damn son. It was wall to wall CRAZY AMAZING. Basically everybody rocked up to the first lantern. Called him on his pish. And wreaked his shite. Amazingly. Hals plan to commit suicide to say the day actually worked. Becoming a black lantern. And summoning NECKRON. Ayes. Fan bloody tastic.

Just a week after the “last” green lantern we got the first issue from the new creative team. And I quite liked it. It had a fairly nice vibe. AYES. There was a fair bit NOT to like. Carl ferris was quite the mental. Basically breaking up with hal so she can still be in love with him. Ayes. Quite the mental. Hal is the head of the green lanterns now. I like that. Like. If he grows a bad ass musstahe and gets a desk I think you can agree it be the best thing ever.

 

Age of ulton ended. Yeah. It was pish. Not even entertaining pish. Confusing hateful pish. That said. There were a few bits of it that were ok. Bizarrely fun even. Like this issue thanks to the resolution we get a shot bit with big miles morales vs GALACTUS. Ayes. Needlessly awesome. Overall though. And I cant believe I'm being this guy. Its worth a miss if you ask me. Its not really needed. I'm sure a few things have been changed around an few new books have been launched. But over all. Fuck ultron.

 

Superman unchained and batman year zero trotted out the gether like amazing buddy cops. Both were quite gid. I mean unsurprisingly. Both all star teams and both being syders. They were always going to be crowd pleaser's. Year zero was going to be rock solid anyway with it being the on going. It was unchained that needed to prove itself. And it did. For the most part. Supes was being quite the lad saving folk and that. And he dose some investigating. Snyders got all the bases covered it seems. There was this splash page that is a fold out poster. It be fine if it were all lousey gosey but naw. Its aww stuck down. So I didn't unfold it. $5 comic in aww that.

 

In further synder news. The wake was out. And I also liked it. Yup. Iv gone quite mad ted. It was like aquaman vs third impact. Or john carpenter's the thing vs third impact. Its amazingly evanglion. So far that is. We'll see how the other issues go. Worth a read if you ask me. You already kent that though.

 

I also got some 90s question comics. Not news I know. But the question had a mullet in the 90s. I wasn't ready at all for that likes. Not at all. Like I know it was a thing for heros in the 80s and 90s to have mullets. But the question likes. I wasn't ready.