Mass Effect: Boldly blowing up what no-one has blown up before!

To celebrate my induction into the ranks of the pirates I've dug up a classic from my personal blog. With the internet rage showing no subsiding over the Mass Effect 3 scandal, this piece seems more than suitable to cash in on peoples nostalgia and rage.

Mass Effect is the story of the Commander Shepard and their attempt to bring good old fashioned space justice to rouge Spectre Saren Arterius. The player does this by following leads on various planets, doing side missions, shooting bad men in the face and generally faffing about on uninhabited planets in a vehicle that out right refuses to follow the laws of physics.

Suck it Science!

Oooo shiney!
Mass Effects graphics are nothing worth phoning home about. Even at release it was nothing special with low res textures and a low variety of objects meaning you would storm the same bland identi-kit pirate base time and time again. It gets to the point after a few hours you begin avoiding missions just so you don't have to see the same crap over and over again.

Purple in a game? Oh my god its been so long!

The art style and design however is fantastic. Biowares artists have achieved a perfect blend of classic Space Operas, such as Star Wars and Star Trek, and modern styling's. It is also colourful which gets a massive "Thank fuck!" after the wave of grey-brown shooters that has attacked us in recent years like a swarm of shit covered locusts. That is until you land on an uncharted planet the majority of which are, you guessed it, grey-brown. Really Bioware? You couldn't do a few weird ass planets that looked like they were created during Gods acid years? The real universe has freaking diamond surfaced planets. Up your game Bioware.
Despite the lack of fancy pants graphics the art style and direction really makes up for it. Seeing Shepard's ship, the Normandy, flying towards the Citadel is a treat to the eyes and the final space battle really is a joy to watch.

A long long time ago....
The background to Mass Effect is told through small info snippets in the games codex and talking to various people. Investigating a computer/tech/ship or talking about a races culture unlock these snippets. These all meld together a large and well written history of the galaxy and its races which really helps capture the Space Opera vibe that Bioware was going for. In this universe most technology is based on that of the Mass Relays, ancient space stations that can fling spaceships across the galaxy in seconds, built by the long dead Protheans. There is also the Citadel. The Citadel is a massive space station that serves as the seat for the Council which is the governing body of several alien races, sort of like the UN (in space). The Council employ Spectres, agents selected from the various races, to enforce their will and maintain stability in Council space. Their top agent is our bad guy Saren Arterius, a Human hating Turian. He plans to use the synthetic Geth to find the beacon which will help him find the conduit which will allow him to bring back the Reapers, ancient machine gods that harvest the galaxy of advance life every ten thousand years.....yeah. He's also a bit of a dick. Here to put a stop to his dickishness is this guy (or gal)

I don't put out for less than a Big Mac! Good day to you sir!

Him and his team of hard ass girl, touchy feely man, angry dinosaur, blue alien awkward nerd girl, gypsy alien nerd girl, crippled Seth Green and space kitty/lizard/chicken (Who is also Judge Dredd) are given the mission of stopping Saren. After mucking about in the Mako and doing lots of morally dubious side missions that is. Seriously you have to wonder what's going on in an RPG hero's head sometimes. "Yeah, evil machines hell bent on murder, whatever. I need to use my years of experience as an elite soldier to deliver this package of illegal goods for that guy over there!"
This being a Bioware game the characters are well fleshed out, space kitty..sorry.. Turian, Garrus Vakerian being a personal favorite, his loose cannon to my by the book guy.

Best space buddy cops ever.

Voice acting is great and the story is engaging despite the plot being done to death many times before (Ancient unstoppable evil yadda yadda). You'll play to advance the story more than anything else. But what of the gameplay I hear you ask?

Fun times with weapons
Mass Effect's gameplay is split into three main sections. Talking, combat and exploring.
Talking is the meat of the game here. Shepard interacts with many people on his journey to capture Saren and sadly shooting them isn't an option. Conversations are conducted using the conversation wheel. Generally the top option is nice and diplomatic, middle is neutral and the bottom one is "Get to the point or I will shoot you in the quads!". Being nice earns Paragon points while being a selfish git earns you Renegade. You also have the chance to make important choices gaining Paragon and Renegade points: "Do I really want to release this alien queen of a race bent on genocide because she says she'll play nice?"
Paragon and Renegade isn't really Good and Evil, more by the book and loose cannon. Points are needed to unlock certain conversation options that allow non-violent ends to a stand off or more money as a reward for a quest and so on. It is best to stick to a certain play style to gain maximum points. Rather fantasticly, Bioware has said that choices made in this game will have effects on the subsequent games! So maybe Queen genocide will repay your kindness, or kill you who knows? Shepard can also engage in a relationship with a few of his crew. Just like Captain Kirk before him, not even the threat of extinction at the hands of a race of god like machines will stop Shepard boning his way around the galaxy.

"Soooooo....threesome?"

The gunplay is rather bland and unfair. Weapons have little impact, bullets are almost invisible and I've died more than a few times because I had no idea I was being shot! Biotic and Tech powers help mix it up but for me the combat was what I least looked forward too. The oeverheating system is a nice idea but easily exploited at high levels. Standard RPG kill and loot mechanics are in play here with a multitude of weapons and upgrades available for you stat whores. Sadly the guns only come in two different visual models. Leveling up is a standard affair with the majority of skills aimed at combat.
The exploration element of the game is at worst un-needed. It is either pop ups on the Galaxy map which basicly gives you free Xp or driving about on the bland uncharted worlds in the now infamous Mako. The Mako handles like a fridge floating on treacle...on fire...upside down...driven by a below average intelligence raccoon. That is the only way I can really describe it.


Review score at the end of the universe
Mass Effect is a fantastic story with an ok game attached to it. More than once I found my self wishing the combat would end just so I could get to the next plot point. I'm critical of the combat but that's only because it doesn't live up to the standard set in the non-combat parts and feels like a drag at times. This is classic series in the making and to miss out on the first instalment would be a shame. Its only about £5 on various sites and still stocked in some stores so if you have yet to experience the Star Wars of this generation then get out there and buy it for gods sake! Clocking in at around 30-40 hours you really can't ask for more in terms of value for money. If your still unconvinced...there is side boob. Alien side boob too. Its pretty awesome.